Irritating Relation Get It Off Your Chest Thread.

*Louise*

Olokia wrote: »

Oh my mum isn't going. They live abroad so it is hard for them to do anything wedding related. My OH was saying that as it was my mum's role, then MIL can do it instead.

Which woudll be nice IF she treated you like a replacement daughter but since she obviously isn't capable of that then you shouldn;t have to have her as a stand in mum and it's unreasonable of him to think you should.

Tbh I think you are going to have many more problems over the years because he obviously can't see the same faults you can....

*Louise*

Bitsy_Beans wrote: »

I was 6 months pregnant with first baby and we'd decorated the nursery. Took FIL up to show him the room and the cot and he proceeded to bang on about cot deaths :eek: Honestly he'd give the Duke of Edinburgh a run for him money :rotfl:

Some people have no idea of time and place!

I have a relative (Nan) who treats every birthday party as a chance to tell everyone about her new ailments (I swear she has had suspected cancer about 5 times now!) oh and she has a lovely habit of discussing dead people...cheery soul.

It's now at the point that if she mentions anyone dead my mum cuts in with 'enough of that - change the subject or you're going home, we don't want to be depressed' :rotfl:

elsien

Can I add my mother to the list on a temporary basis? Normally we get on quite well, but have just been away together on a short break which meant sharing a room.
Cue comments from parent on all aspects of my physical appearance - you're going very gray all of a sudden; ooh did you know you've got cellulite; your stomach muscles are a bit loose aren't they, etc etc.
Now she doesn't have much concept of privacy at the best of times, but I got quite offended that she felt it was ok to pass comment on anything she liked, when I would never dream of telling her she looks like the back end of a bus and it looks like a total eclipse when she bends over.
What is it about getting older that makes people think it's ok to say what they like when they like? A bit of self censorship wouldn't go amiss at times.

Just_Plain_Jane

My OH's mum - as much as I love her - has no tact whatsoever.

OH's sister had a big wedding a couple of years ago. We were looking through some pics the other week when she says 'That was such a beautiful wedding dress, shame it won't be worn again. I'd suggest she give it to you in case you ever marry, but it'd never fit you in a million years'. :eek:

1) Why would I want someone else's wedding dress that the whole family would recognise as such?

2) I'm aware that SIL is a size 12 and I'm an 18, but is there a need to rub it in?

3) She knows me and OH will probably never marry as her son is somewhat of a commitment-phobic.

There have been other gems, but that was probably the one that dropped my jaw the most.

LilacPixie

Can I add my FIL please.

Basiclly he is a !!!!less sod who couldn't hold down job when my husband and his sibligs were kids, got into huge amounts of debt and almost lost their home and basically he is just a muppet.

Now he is verbally abusive to his oldest son ( my BIL) because he happens to be gay, his daughter refuses to have anything to do with him and my husband is trying to maintain contact but that is getting harder all the time.

some snippets according to FIL

1) DH not a real man because I earn more than him
2) DH a po** lover because he maintains contact with BIL
3) DH under thumb because I have banned FIL from my home and DH agrees

Last straw came when I returned home and FIL was in my livingroom and he said ' you should ring the door bell when entering my sons house' I exploaded and flung him out. I was furious especilly considering my husband was plunged deep deep in debt at 18/19 by his dad, debt he is still paying back now and debt that has meant this house is mortgaged in my name only because of the debt commitments DH has.

shelley_crow

Olokia wrote: »

I have never got on with my future MIL.

She thinks we are extremely fat (we are slightly but not how she makes it out to be, she is very underweight, so maybe compared to her) and once my OH wanted a cake for dessert (and have proper portion sizes so we wouldn't have too many calories) and I told him better not. When we got back in the car, she then started screaming at both of us saying that we were going to get really ill if we carry on this way.

Another time we were having a bbq and she had made home made garlic bread. I was on a diet at this time but I absolutely love garlic bread (or anything with garlic) but gave huge portions to her and OH and gave me one tiny slice because I insisted because "it's only for people who can have it". Those were her words and it felt like she was rubbing it in that she could have a better meal. I had cardboard WeightWatchers sausages and 1 tiny slice of garlic bread and they had the extra special sausages and huge portions of garlic bread. Argh! My self control is not that good so it just made me fed up with the diet. This is just one example of many meals and it just made my diet harder.

.

Another thing that crossed my mind is if she is so controlling and downright rude about yours and your fiance's weight, what's she going to be like at the wedding? If she pays for the cake, does that mean you get to cut it but not eat any because she thinks you need to lose a few pounds and "it's only for people who can have it?"

I had an aunt like this when I was younger, she got short shrift and kept her issues to herself.

shelley_crow

Just_Plain_Jane wrote: »

My OH's mum - as much as I love her - has no tact whatsoever.

OH's sister had a big wedding a couple of years ago. We were looking through some pics the other week when she says 'That was such a beautiful wedding dress, shame it won't be worn again. I'd suggest she give it to you in case you ever marry, but it'd never fit you in a million years'. :eek:

1) Why would I want someone else's wedding dress that the whole family would recognise as such?

2) I'm aware that SIL is a size 12 and I'm an 18, but is there a need to rub it in?

3) She knows me and OH will probably never marry as her son is somewhat of a commitment-phobic.

There have been other gems, but that was probably the one that dropped my jaw the most.

Was she doing it to get a reaction? Some people who don't like overwiehgt/underweight/ <insert any other prejudice here> can't help but make digs to gain a reaction. Well, actually, they can choose not to comment but invariably do.

gratefulforhelp_2

Just wanted to say, you can marry in Church if you wish without a big white wedding. x

Just_Plain_Jane

shelley_crow wrote: »

Was she doing it to get a reaction? Some people who don't like overwiehgt/underweight/ <insert any other prejudice here> can't help but make digs to gain a reaction. Well, actually, they can choose not to comment but invariably do.

I think she genuinely doesn't think before her gob opens. She's lovely in every other respect.

Had I been the same dress size as SIL I'm in no doubt that she'd have brought the dress round thinking she was doing me a favour lol

HeidiHi

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Oi Wotsit. I mean Jemima. Erm - sorry Heidi.

How about giving her a key? Or paying one of the kids to get up early and let her in? Or do it to hers at 10pm every night? Or changing your answerphone to say 'If that's wotsit, the old lady that we are related to - please DO NOT come round until you have spoken to your son'. Or just let the police turn up and giver her a warning. Or refuse to open the door no matter how much she knocks [what would actually happen if you were all out for an early morning walk one day?] or your OH could get up, open the door naked, and tell her you are in the middle of a session and to please go home and do not do this again.

:rotfl: She wouldn't care.

Like I said I came home from work one day and saw her doing it, and she was shouting as loud as she could through the letter box and up to the front bedroom windows. (She knows we're asleep.)

She was using the door knocker with such force that it echoed up and down the otherwise silent street.

When the police came that one time they just wanted me to get her inside and shut her up. We couldn't and wouldn't not answer the door to her ever, but sometimes it takes us a little while to wake up. We sleep at the back of the house so neighbours who sleep at the front will have been disturbed first.

No way on gods's green earth would we give her a key. :eek:

Can you imagine? :eek:

The kids have less patience than we do. I have two teenagers who need a lot of sleep. One's just done her A levels and studies really hard, sometimes late into the night The youngest just gets frightened.