I am absolutely fuming relationships!

Money_maker

Length of stay aside, did you have a good time?

victory

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Bogof_Babe

victory wrote: »

True, on the way home I still came up with this and that to do we could do this or that go here but even though it was 25 degrees he still said we had to come home at least to put the wash on and get refreshed and then he might go back out again

?????? So did he? And where? For how long? Sorry love but I'm getting huge warning bells here. You need to talk to him properly, without distractions. If it turns out it's nothing then I'm so pleased for you, but if this was me I'd not be settling for all this attitude and avoidance. Don't be an ostrich.

bobble_hat

I had to post on this one. I have the same issue with my DH. We book our leave from work, decide how long we're going for, then a couple of weeks before we go he starts shortening the holiday!

It's very frustrating, I work from home, so rarely leave the house, I work full time and have a 2year old DD. So I really need a proper break, 3 days is not enough especially when you are camping, it takes nearly a whole day to sort the camp out and get organised, then once you're relaxed you have to pack it all back up again.

We had 2 weeks in July booked as holiday with the agreement that we would have 10 days away in the middle so we had time at home either side of the holiday. We ended up having 7 nights away which was a major improvement for us. It took a lot of persuading. I'm suffering silently from depression and I was hanging everything on a full break away.

The other issue is if we stay at home, my MIL 'pops round' all the time, and I love her to bits but she fusses around me especially with the way I look after our DD, I don't think I'm as capable as she would like, so having a break from that means I can cope with that when we get back, without losing my temper.

Plus if you're at home, you end up doing housework and all the normal household running that you need a break from. So he'll be out on his bike having a great old time and you'll be stuck in the house doing chores. Well that's how it pans out for me anyway.

I hope you get the holiday you need. We all need a proper break at least once a year, for the sake of our mental and physical health.

Bogof_Babe

bobble_hat you should at least take turns looking after your DD so that you can BOTH get a chance to go out on your own and do whatever you want.

As for mil, I don't know how you can put up with that. Does your OH know how you feel?

bobble_hat

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

bobble_hat you should at least take turns looking after your DD so that you can BOTH get a chance to go out on your own and do whatever you want.

As for mil, I don't know how you can put up with that. Does your OH know how you feel?

Thanks Bogof_Babe.

My OH is brilliant, and does take DD out when I need a break, it's literally just the holiday issue and him not wanting to be away for as long as I do. And having the general house maintenance to do when we are home, he needs a break too.

We had a good long chat about MIL whilst we were away, and he's stumped for a solution too. I don't want to upset her as she's so good to us with childcare etc. but I get frustrated as she treats me like on of her children, e.g. 'have you put your bin out', 'is that washing ready to hang out, if you put it out now it will be dry by bedtime' (whilst I'm playing with DD who I've not seen all day and has 30 mins before bedtime), 'Do those plants need watering?'. Then asking DD directly (she's 2), 'Does DD need a clean nappy?', 'Is DD hungry?' GAH! I do feed and change my baby.

It got so bad at one point that we were at lunch at someone's house and I was feeding DD on my knee due to lack of chairs and she started cutting up my food for me!

It is annoying but I don't want to upset her as she is a lovely lady and does take everything to heart, so I'm treading a fine line.

victory

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Bogof_Babe

victory wrote: »

No we have not gone back out again yet, we have not been anywhere, I have talked to him, he says I am exhausted, tired and crying and getting wrong signals and am upset for no reason, that he just thought 3 days was enough

Sorry, you put in your previous post that "he" might go back out again, I didn't realise you meant all of you. That's a bit more reassuring then.

victory

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danielley

Hi victory

If I were you I would leave mentioning going anywhere for at least a few days. For whatever reason (unless I have missed something in a previous post) your OH does not want to do much on his 2 week break, and you keep mentioning it may cause more tension.

I am not saying that you are in the wrong at all, I think it is really cruel that he wont explain WHY he doesn't want to do much, but I am trying to save you ruining your family break with rows and stoney silences. Plus kids always pick up on these things, even if we dont think they do.

Good Luck x