We’d like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum.
This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are – or become – political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!
daughter traumatised after op
Comments
-
When as a child I had my tonsils out, I got a pre-med injection in my elbow (which was sore as you can imagine!). Apparantly when my mum came to visit I accused her of not being honest as they had taken my tonsils out of my elbow and it hurt!!!! One guilty mum!
Anyway, as long as you have been honest with her, she will realise as she gets older that the important bit happened when she was asleep - and that's why she can't remember it.
As long as children feel secure and have someone they can ask questions of, they are resilient and she will probably recover from the experience quicker than you!:rotfl:0 -
Thank you for all your replies. I will answer you all together!
I think she is upset about the whole 2nd procedure. I`d imagine her throat was sore then having that happen must of been dreadful!
She did say `you said i would be sleeping` and i said `yes darling you were when you had your operation` that was when she said but that dr took my tonsils out when i was awake - she has only said this once and hasnt kept on about it. I just hate the thought that she thinks this.
Looking back seeing 2 people holding you down, a dr with instruments in your mouth it must of looked like they were - in all fairness they were removing something just not tonsils!!
I have no complaint at all with the hospital tbh, in my eyes it did have to be done and quickly. The dr wasn`t very nice (in general) but he did the job which must of been hard to do as DD was not co operating at all!
I did ask if there was `another way` but was told NO it had to be done NOW!.
My DD didnt see me leave the room i had already moved myself well away from them and was by the theatre door and was just literally doing the `its ok sweetheart/your doing really well etc etc. I did return aswell once i`d deep breathed and pulled myself together - it was just so hard to deal with.
She probably did see i was upset though afterwards (red eyed monster) which hasn`t helped i`m sure - i was scared if i`m completely honest as she wouldnt let the drs do what they needed to do and they were looking a bit panicky themselves. The nurse was very good albeit firm which did help in the end, if she had of been a soppy nurse i dont think they would of managed to do it.
DD has not asked why i was upset, but i did say at the time to her look at mummys happy tears your all better now and you`ve been so brave.
She has not mentioned `the procedure` since yesterdays conversation with her and this morning she has certainly brightened up.
I got a hug this morning and she has let me do her hair so seems to be her getting some of her old self back - yesterday i couldnt touch her at all without her flinching.
I have re read her hospital book to her and her brother (his due to go in soon so will help him too) and she was saying she remembers the needle being put in which hurt - that was the venflon needed to put her to sleep!
So i exaggerated that putting in the needle bit to try and make it clear that a painful needle was put in her hand so the dr could put her too sleep - in the hope she will remember this happening.
I told DS that DH was there when DD went to sleep, Mummy was there when she woke up and DD actually said she remembered me being there when she woke up.
I`m fine now, I was fine once she was back on the ward. I`m very grateful they were so quick and efficient.
We havent spoke about it since in front of her so it isnt as if i`m making it a fresh memory for her.
Lil me - she has dentist in August so that will be a chance to hopefully see if she is ok or not. She doesnt mind the dentist normally so hopefully this don`t change things. I actually mentioned to her yesterday that the dentist wants to check for wobbly teeth (she is wanting a visit form the tooth fairy) and she frowned and shook her head no! Fingers crossed this changes.
If in a few weeks she is still showing signs of being scared or confused i will definately contact my gp again or pop down to my local surestart. Its a shame the school is not open as they have a great school nurse for these things.DebtFree FEB 2010!Slight blip in 2013 - Debtfree Aug 2014 :j
Savings £132/£1000.0 -
Jesswithwings wrote: »I agree that in an emergency its all hands to the deck... but I read that as it was the final examination prior to discharge that this was noticed. As I read it I assumed the patient was about to be discharged - might be wrong.... often am!
We've had patients who have had post-tonsillectomy bleeds and clots forming and we take the patient back to theatre so the vessels can be cauterized properly. We have done unpleasant things to patient's who's life was in iminant danger (on the ward) in peri-arrest situations but I didnt get from the OP that this was one of those cases.
Thats whats happened!
Nurses were shocked as she had been eating and drinking very well - was told to cut back at one point as she shovelled in quavers:rotfl:She had showed no signs of anything being wrong, it was only spotted when the sho came round to have a look prior to discharging her.
ETA - it wasnt performed on the ward we were taking to a theatre where they then removed the clot by suction and a scissor like instrument! Then they applied adrenaline to the wound site using a long swab.DebtFree FEB 2010!Slight blip in 2013 - Debtfree Aug 2014 :j
Savings £132/£1000.0 -
savingmummy wrote: »Thats whats happened!
Nurses were shocked as she had been eating and drinking very well - was told to cut back at one point as she shovelled in quavers:rotfl:She had showed no signs of anything being wrong, it was only spotted when the sho came round to have a look prior to discharging her.0 -
scottish_lassy wrote: »When as a child I had my tonsils out, I got a pre-med injection in my elbow (which was sore as you can imagine!). Apparantly when my mum came to visit I accused her of not being honest as they had taken my tonsils out of my elbow and it hurt!!!! One guilty mum!
Anyway, as long as you have been honest with her, she will realise as she gets older that the important bit happened when she was asleep - and that's why she can't remember it.
As long as children feel secure and have someone they can ask questions of, they are resilient and she will probably recover from the experience quicker than you!
:rotfl:That made me smile!
Looking at her today i think she will be fine she clearly was just thinking they had taken her tonsils out and been too scared to ask us if they had.
She is much brighter and happier today so i`m hoping it continuesDebtFree FEB 2010!Slight blip in 2013 - Debtfree Aug 2014 :j
Savings £132/£1000.0 -
Jesswithwings wrote: »Bless her and her quavers! she sounds like a tough cookie and I'm sure once the initial shock of everything settles down she'll be fine. Being in hospital is a very weird experience when you're a grown up let alone when you're only 5! x
She is normally a drama queen but was a star on Monday. I was shocked how good she was as when she has tonsilitis she dont eat or drink yet she was eating and drinking with no problems at all.
I`m seeing a big difference in her today so maybe i was worrying about nothing.
Just hate that she thought her tonsils were removed while she was awake.DebtFree FEB 2010!Slight blip in 2013 - Debtfree Aug 2014 :j
Savings £132/£1000.0 -
I'm not sure how much you have explained to her already, but maybe it is the whole 'cleaning' thing which is confusing her (as we don't usually have mental instruments stuck in our mouths for that).
So, I think having a hygeine visit at the dentist, for her to see you do it, might be reassuring. But maybe wait a while first, and don't make it a thing about her, just say you have to have a checkup and as you're looking after her that day, she has to come with you.
Also, IF she asks about it again, maybe just expand on the cleaning thing and say it was a little it tough for the doctor, so he had to use a special instrument to do it.February wins: Theatre tickets0 -
I would imagine that the blood clot was big enough that if it had dislodged at any moment it would have blocked her airways and she would have stopped breathing. This would have been why they treated her so quickly.
I hope both you and your daughter recover from the experience soon.0 -
I am saying that her DAD shouldnt have held her down - every pediatric nurse, doctor etc knows to get the parents out of the way and NOT to involved them in any procedure! Because the child remembers that Mum or Dad held them down and LET people hurt them! you have to realise that a child sees things very simply - If Mum or Dad let people hurt them then the child will remember that.
I agree with that, my mother held me down along with 2 nurses to give me a local anesthetic when I was a kid (I was scared of needles) and it took me a couple of years to forgive her. Worst part is that it scared me so much the adrenalin stopped it from working, and they had to keep holding me down and give me 9! before it finally took.0 -
I agree with that, my mother held me down along with 2 nurses to give me a local anesthetic when I was a kid (I was scared of needles) and it took me a couple of years to forgive her. Worst part is that it scared me so much the adrenalin stopped it from working, and they had to keep holding me down and give me 9! before it finally took.
I don't. I think you and particularly Meritaten are being deeply unpleasant and judgmental to a mum who has been through a terribly traumatic experience.
The fact of the matter is that OP's child suffered a medical emergency which had to be treated immediately otherwise her child could have died and her child had to be kept still to do so. One way or another she had got to be pinned down. Now this could either have been done by complete strangers, or with the aid of the two people she loves most in the world who were no doubt talking to her and reassuring her at the same time. Either way it was going to be distressing for the child but less so if there was someone familiar there.
I've had to help restrain my DD who has learning difficulties more times than I can count for medical procedures, even if just to enable them to put the needle in to sedate her before they do something more invasive. I don't like doing it, find it upsetting, but its better than an stranger doing it, and she NEEDS to have the medical procedures for her own well being. Sometimes being a parent is hard, and more so if a grown adult still bears a grudge for you doing something for their own benefit.
:T :T:T to OP. You probably saved your daughter's life. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about that in the slightest. I can completely understand it was traumatic in the extreme. Have you got a RL friend you could unload on? I am sure your DD will feel better in a few days, and it sounds like she is well on the way already. Don't forget that one of the side effects of a general anaesthetic on a small child is to make them weepy and clingy for a few days afterwards.0
This discussion has been closed.
Confirm your email address to Create Threads and Reply

Categories
- All Categories
- 352.1K Banking & Borrowing
- 253.5K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 454.2K Spending & Discounts
- 245.1K Work, Benefits & Business
- 600.7K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 177.4K Life & Family
- 258.9K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 16.2K Discuss & Feedback
- 37.6K Read-Only Boards