daughter traumatised after op

savingmummy

My DD (5yr) had a tonsilectomy on Monday.
I know it is literally recent and fresh in her mind but i`m so worried about her.
The op went well and she came back to the ward fine. 3 hrs later a blood clot formed on the wound site and she was rushed back down to have it removed! This was only spotted when the dr came to discharge her and saw it on examining her.

Now they couldnt put her to sleep so this was done whilst she was awake and i, the nurse and my DH literally `forced` her to lay still, open her mouth while 2 drs removed this clot using a suction tool and a forcep and then they applied adrenaline via a swab to the wound to stop the haemorrage - took a good 30-40mins
It was horrendous and i don`t want to go into great detail but it wasn`t straight forward, and if i`m honest it has freaked me out - so much so i have not eaten or slept properly since.

She is ok no further bleeds, eating and drinking well, no pain etc BUT she is now believing when she went down the second time the drs took her tonsils out :eek:
She has been very withdrawn all day today, wouldnt talk or accept any contact and has been very moody and snappy. Huge struggle getting her to clean her teeth, drink and do anything in general.
I managed to have a word with her where she finally opened up and told me she thought this had happened. She said she was very cross as i promised she would be asleep when they removed them.
She can`t remember being put to sleep, she only remembers the second thing happening.
I`ve tried to explain the best i can but to no avail

I rang my GP surgery this afternoon and they were no help at all - basically said to keep telling her its all over now and she will soon feel better and wont remember it!
Now i know she is 5, and she will forget all this BUT my concern is in the mean time she thinks this happened.
She does have a good memory and remembers things from back when she was 2yrs old, she sometimes brings up things that takes me a good while to remember so i`m now worried when she is 7 or 8 she will still be freaked out by this, and that between now and then it will effect her!

Any advice? Anyone had a similar experience?

pinksuedeshoes

i would tell her that she had her tonsils out whilst she was asleep. But when she woke up her throat was poorley so they had to take her back and magically take it away while she was awake but now everything is fantastic and the doctors said she was braver than anyone they had ever seen in there lives and now she will be better than ever.
what i terrible time for you i think i would have fallen to peices if that had been my boys.
Add as much magic, fairies, even a gift from the tonsil fairy for being so brave.I did this with my son when he broke his leg and was traumatised i got him a present from the pot fairy (i know that sounds dodgey but it worked). make the biggest fuss of her you can and also ask her what she wants for a special treat.
I hope this helps.
just make the biggest fuss of her ever x

LilacPixie

Awww poor baby. i have no advice really other than could she be picking up on your freake out ness. Have you tried a bit of iversion/white lies with no honey you WERE asleep when they removed them but the silly doctor forgot to put the special plaster on and you were awake for that now would you like more jelly?

jamespir

aww bless hope she gets better perhaps getting her a teddy (who you can pretend has also had her tonsils out ) to help calm her

savingmummy

pinksuedeshoes wrote: »

i would tell her that she had her tonsils out whilst she was asleep. But when she woke up her throat was poorley so they had to take her back and magically take it away while she was awake but now everything is fantastic and the doctors said she was braver than anyone they had ever seen in there lives and now she will be better than ever.
what i terrible time for you i think i would have fallen to peices if that had been my boys.
Add as much magic, fairies, even a gift from the tonsil fairy for being so brave.I did this with my son when he broke his leg and was traumatised i got him a present from the pot fairy (i know that sounds dodgey but it worked). make the biggest fuss of her you can and also ask her what she wants for a special treat.
I hope this helps.
just make the biggest fuss of her ever x

I have said all the above multiple times.
I couldnt be with her when they put her to sleep (broke down and got all panicky) so it was just daddy with her, when she came round i was there yet she don`t remember this.
I`ve reassured her that the dr was only `cleaning her mouth` and that her tonsils were already gone but to no avail!

The hospital bear had visited WELL before she went down the second time. 4 pressies and a voucher to say `you are going to Butlins for being brave` BUT she still is adament the op was done awake.

I did break - into a thousand pieces was awful and i wouldn`t wish it to happen to my worst enemy

savingmummy

jamespir wrote: »

aww bless hope she gets better perhaps getting her a teddy (who you can pretend has also had her tonsils out ) to help calm her

She had her minnie mouse with her who goes everywhere with her.
Minnie had a needle in her hand which they taped on in the anaethetic room and a heart monitor sticker on and she had calpol too in recovery. Minnie got a bravery certificate when we left from the nurses - Its not worked

The hospital gave me a book let with a story to read which we read together religously - thats not helped (The complication isnt in that and i`ve added it in by being subtle)

See why i`m so worried? Nothing is working at all!
I had followed all the tips and tricks on how to make a child feel safe and supported but its all failed due to a complication!

savingmummy

LilacPixie wrote: »

Awww poor baby. i have no advice really other than could she be picking up on your freake out ness. Have you tried a bit of iversion/white lies with no honey you WERE asleep when they removed them but the silly doctor forgot to put the special plaster on and you were awake for that now would you like more jelly?

You could be right! I`ve tried to be relaxed and i havent spoke about it in front of her but i suppose she could be sensing something off of me.

I`m going to give that a try!!! Magic cream and special plaster :T

pinksuedeshoes

savingmummy wrote: »

I have said all the above multiple times.
I couldnt be with her when they put her to sleep (broke down and got all panicky) so it was just daddy with her, when she came round i was there yet she don`t remember this.
I`ve reassured her that the dr was only `cleaning her mouth` and that her tonsils were already gone but to no avail!

The hospital bear had visited WELL before she went down the second time. 4 pressies and a voucher to say `you are going to Butlins for being brave` BUT she still is adament the op was done awake.

I did break - into a thousand pieces was awful and i wouldn`t wish it to happen to my worst enemy

oh you poor babe this sounds so tough. I don't know what else to say. What about if funds are ok saying would she like to plan a party for when she is better to invite her friends to. all i can say is keep on telling her about the magic plaster and try and distract her from it any way possible. I can see where she is coming from though it must have been so scary.

couldn't you get a grandad or uncle to ring her up on the phone and say we did your operation while you were asleep but we forgot the magic plaster and we are so sorry but we had to put it on.
i really hope that helps. I really feel for you in your situation x

caledonian_princess

I had a similar experience in that I was 5 when I had a tonsillectomy and I can still remember quite a bit about it. For a start, my Grand dad told me that my tonsils would be in a jar next to my bed when I woke up they weren't! Apart from that, I remember being wheeled into the room where I was given the anaesthetic; I was asked to count to 10. After the op, I remember crying to be allowed home because they didn't change my nightie and it had blood down the front of it and they were feeding me mush (obviously); I just wanted to go home with my Mum and have chips! To reassure you, it didn't screw me up or anything, but I do remember it - so does my Mum who said that leaving me in hospital was one of the hardest things she's ever had to do and she cried for the rest of the evening, slept badly etc. I think the advice about making a big fuss is good... at the next visit I got a doll dressed as a flamenco dancer and ice cream brought in (after they checked with the nurses) and I don't recall anything else from the 3 day stay. This is one of very few memories I have from that age so it was obviously traumatic at the time but it didn't give me nightmares or anything afterwards.

When I was in my 20s I told my Mum what my Grand dad had told me and she gave him a flea in his ear, so funny.

meritaten

DONT lie to her - explain what happened as simply as you can. then go back to gp and demand counselling for her! I had an experience after giving birth where I was awake and aware for what should have been a surgical procedure. I understand where your daughter is coming from............its terrifying - and your DH shouldnt have been part of it - sorry, but your daughter may remember him as part of that and thats what is causing the problems. Your daughter needs specialist counselling I think - and the hospital needs a kick up the arris! that shouldnt have happened!

KiKi

I don't think she needs specialist counselling...it's only been two days. She may well settle and forget it so I'd give it some time. I also don't think anyone can say 'it shouldn't have happened' - sometimes there are emergencies where there's no time to put a child under, and this may have been one of them. Probably best not to judge the hospital without knowing all the facts. Clots are serious, and have to be dealt with immediately. However, I do agree that I wouldn't lie to her, and just tell her that there was a problem and the doctor had to make it better immediately.

OP, it has only been a couple of days, and just being in hospital may have been enough to freak her out - she may have reacted like this regardless of the clot, but you'll never know. Give her lots of cuddles and reassurance, and keep telling her the second thing wasn't her tonsils being removed. She might not believe you yet, but hopefully it will sink in. The only proactive thing I can suggest is distracting her with things to do and her favourite toys and games.

I hope things get better for you very soon.
KiKi