Council Tax arrears from ex threatening my marriage

jungle_jane

omg OP you sound like a complete nightmare...

monstersmum_2

jungle_jane wrote: »

omg OP you sound like a complete nightmare...

At the moment my head is well and truly up my !!!.. hopefully when the sunrises in the morning i'll find a way out.. i'm just totally frustrated, annoyed and basically at my wits end!

puddy

Steel wrote: »

That's not an acceptable or fair post puddy.

i know. sorry OP, but you do go on a bit

monstersmum_2

I'm not this bitter and twisted witch that expects the world to agree with me, i'm not disillusional, i just need to vent my feelings, and sometimes it's easier doing that to strangers, because then if someone does judge you it doesn't matter because they don't know you, i want a rant with complete strangers, the advice i will take on board.. i would never stop my DD from seeing her dad, because as you all stated and as i totally agree it is her decision, and it always has been and always will be, i just wanted a rant, a rave, a vent.. so for those that may be offended i apologise x

monstersmum_2

And for those that i bored .. sorry, its been a long day :-/ x

Steel_2

puddy wrote: »

i know. sorry OP, but you do go on a bit

I can see why she's so frustrated.

If you think about all the things we all do to protect our children - even to the point where the poor sods can't even play conkers at school any more in case they hurt themselves - and here were are knowing we have to put them in the way of a possible pain and hurt based on how we have seen exes behave in the past towards that child and other children they have.

I fully get that having a crappy relationship with an ex doesn't mean their relationship with the child will be poor, and there are some people who make dreadful partners but cultivate great relationships with their kids.

But I also totally get how upsetting it must be to know that you have to sit there, biting your tongue and watching your kid be open to getting hurt by someone who is supposed to love them and look out for them, but has a track record of not doing so with their other children. That must be horrible OP.

Yes a child will could turn round one day and say to the bad parent "I don't want to visit you any more" but how much psychological damage will be done by then?

It's not a good situation, but until there is a better system it's the one we are stuck with.

19lottie82

Wow, this situation is so similar to mine (well my boyfriends), it’s unreal!

My partner split up with his ex wife 2 years ago, as sadly, she is an alcoholic.

When they were together he gave her money to pay all of the household bills, including the council tax (until he realised the extent of her alcoholism, then he left her).

Last week he got a letter to his property from a debt collection agency addressed to him and his ex wife. When he phoned to enquire about the debt, it turns out there is an outstanding debt of £2700 for unpaid council tax!
It turns out she had been keeping the housekeeping money and not paying the council tax.

He realises that it was his responsibility to ensure that the CT was being paid, and as the bill is in both of their names it is a joint debt. However, she is an unemployed alcoholic, living on benefits, so getting her to pay half is going to be impossible, so he will have to pay the whole lot. Arrrrrgh!
:mad:

RAS

Hi mm

You need to read this http://www.csa.gov.uk/en/case/remo.asp#S5

Get yourself over to the Child Support forum here, read up on the REMO threads there and get your ex to cough up for his daughter. Being in Ireland does not prevent you claiming maintenance from him. You will eed a court order first.

newcook

daft question buuuuuut...... didnt you inform the council of the change of details?

when I left my ex one of the first things I did was call the council and request for an account to be set up for my new address and to let them know that my ex was now the sole occupier of the property I had just left. any debts incurred after that was down to my ex not paying.