Council Tax arrears from ex threatening my marriage

mountainofdebt

monstersmum wrote: »

Your all quick to state that its a mothers "job" to look after their child and we all know there are bad dads out there, so why when the bad dad is still on the scene it's expected that the 'i wanna do good' mum should do good, why shouldn't i break the mould, i'm doing what is expected of me, what is seen in the eyes of society as the right thing, but why? why should i do the right thing? i know your response - for my daughter, but how will she benefit from spending time with a worthless father, yes overtime she will realise what a worthless man he is.. but i know now what a worthless man he is, i was told by a solicitor i could move, not leave any contact details and totally cut my ex off, i've been told i do not have to allow him access, i am not legally obliged to allow him access, just as he is not legally obliged to provide any financial support for his daughter.

For goodness sake woman listen.

Yes life is unfair, yes you and your new partner have been !!!!!ed by your ex but do you really want to be portrayed as the villian ?? Far better your daughter wakes up in a few years time realise that her father is nothing more than a waste of space than it take far more many years for her to come to that conculsion because of your influence.

Your daughter is not a possession - she is another human being who has been landed the unfortunate luck to have a waster for a dad but the luck to be landed with a mum and step-dad who will be there for her through thick and thin.

If you want to jepodise that then ignore everything everyone has advised and do what you think is best.

monstersmum_2

When you have to deal with the mind games day in day out it soon gets hard to actually think rationally about a situation.. when faced with something that has an effect on yourself and your family which is for you uncontrollable it's difficult, i have a very big file of facebook messages from my ex full of the threats, the manipulation and intimidation, it is plain to see even in the shallowest of eyes.. i always try to do what is right, but why should right be so hard?

peachyprice

!!!!!!, it's not all about you and want you do/don't want. It's has nothing to do with what 'society expects' from you, it's about respecting your DD and not dragging her into the bitterness you feel for her father.

Stop your DD seeing her father if you think it's going to help you move on, but don't come back here in 6 months time crying because you stopped your DD seeing her dad so she's decided to go live with him.

Tiddlywinks

OK, I'm getting bored now with your continuous spouting of bitter posts where you think only of yourself and your hatred of your ex. Seriously - I really feel sorry for your daughter. She will be aware of what's going on and that's not fair is it?

She has every right to see her father for as long as they are both wish to meet up - get over it!

What about your OH and kids - do you think they enjoy living with someone eaten up by hate?

You don't see it do you?

mountainofdebt

monstersmum wrote: »

When you have to deal with the mind games day in day out it soon gets hard to actually think rationally about a situation.. when faced with something that has an effect on yourself and your family which is for you uncontrollable it's difficult, i have a very big file of facebook messages from my ex full of the threats, the manipulation and intimidation, it is plain to see even in the shallowest of eyes.. i always try to do what is right, but why should right be so hard?

He's only allowed to play mind games because you let him.

Don't expect anything from him and you won't be disappointed. Anything you get off him consider to be a bonus.

puddy

i bet this is all you ever talk about to friends and family (or people at bus stops, neighbours, the GP, shop assistants, anyone thats too stupid to tell you to shut up.

you must be such a bore

monstersmum_2

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

OK, I'm getting bored now with your continuous spouting of bitter posts where you think only of yourself and your hatred of your ex. Seriously - I really feel sorry for your daughter. She will be aware of what's going on and that's not fair is it?

She has every right to see her father for as long as they are both wish to meet up - get over it!

What about your OH and kids - do you think they enjoy living with someone eaten up by hate?

You don't see it do you?

If your getting bored reply to someone elses post - i won't be offended.. i came for advice and all you have done is critize near enough every reply i have made.. at no point have i said i'm going to stop my DD from having contact with her father i just want to know why i should still allow her having contact, yes people are bitter, some wounds take longer to heal than others but don't judge me and don't slate me for asking for opinions x

monstersmum_2

puddy wrote: »

i bet this is all you ever talk about to friends and family (or people at bus stops, neighbours, the GP, shop assistants, anyone thats too stupid to tell you to shut up.

you must be such a bore

well obviously, because you stopped by to say hello and have your tuppence worth :rotfl:

Steel_2

That's not an acceptable or fair post puddy.

monstersmum_2

In a forum you have a choice to reply to a post.. in life it isn't always that simple what is placed before you is what you have to deal with.. you can be constructive, you can be dismissive, judgemental, humourous, aggressive, philosophical, opinionated and truthful... i chose to share with you my problem and my feelings with regards to this problem.. for those that don't wish to know about my problem the solution is very simple ignore it, for you it won't be there it doesnt matter, i believe in constructive critism, i disagree with complete arogance!