MSE Parent Club

MadDogWoman_2

((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))) Becles.

My DH has been winding me up recently since I returned to work.

Katie has cut her first tooth!

Found it by accident today, I was giving her a taste of the cream of my DH's hot chocolate and I heard and felt it catch the spoon!

So amid much protesting I had a quick feel, the top edge is through the gum. Mum reckons it broke through a couple of days ago.

It's a complete surprise, only symptom has been a bit of nappy rash, and with hindsight a bit more feeding in the night, but nothing excessive.

Poor baby now has to learn not to bite her tongue or fingers which has done lots today as she finger feeds, so she's not enjoying meal times at the moment, plus as she is curious about this new thing in her mouth her finger is in her mouth ALOT!

We were with my mum when I made the discovery who said that I was a similar age (10.75 months) when I got my first and after that they all just popped through without much messing. Mum did say that she was pleased that I'd found it rather than her (mum looks after her whilst I'm at work) as I have issues about missing firsts working full time, Mum has promised that any firsts she does do for her she won't tell me about though so that I can make the discovery.

She is learning so much so fast, last weekend it was Dada, yesterday it was F, today it was Nana.

She is also close to walking, she is just not brave enough to let go, all her weight is on her legs, we're working on walking just holding one hand and standing unsupported, which she managed for a second today, she does let go to sit herself down. Grandad is looking forward to her walking, as he has asked if he can buy her, her first proper shoes.

I can't believe her first year is nearly up!

That's us.

MDW

heather38

bailey IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
remember that, things will get better and although you cannot see that now i promise you will get through it.

tsstss7

Hi all - up late tonight as oh has gone out, finally managed to get ds1+2 to bed so grabbing some blissfull "me" time. I know I should be going to bed early really but can't cope without some quiet time so instead I end up falling asleep every time I sit still for five mins lol(usually while bfeeding - I seem to have mastered the art of sleeping sitting up !:rolleyes: :rolleyes: )

Bailey sorry to hear about your troubles I know how hard it is in the early days esp as you have a bigger one to worry about too, I still worry about neglecting my ds1 and he is 10 and fairly resiliant! However I'm glad to hear you're getting plenty of help - your oh sounds like a star!

Becca - I can sympathise with you about your man problem...they can be pretty useless sometimes....are your sons not his? I say this as my big ds is not my oh's and I do think it makes me feel like I am the one who has to be the responsible "parent" and I tend to let him get away with being more carefree both because he's my route to an escape from the humdrum (when I get a chance) and because my ds1 is more my responsibility so I try not to burden him (not sure he'd cope!).....anyway I'm working on making him more accountable but it's a slow process - guess that's what comes of trying too hard to make it easy for him in the beginning.

CURIOUS - glad to hear danny is ok:T

I went the early weaning route also. Archie and I have never got on well with the b.feeding so I've had to supplement with formula (hats off to all the mums who express to supplement, I could never find time/energy to do it) anyway he has always seemed hungry even after his night feed (9oz formula:D ) so I introduced baby rice last Monday when he turned 4 months and I'm delighted to say hes loving it - we tried mashed banana today also and he's up to 3 (v. small)feeds as he doesn't like to be left out at meal times :T

:rotfl: :rotfl: love the choclate stories :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: my ds1 did something similar when he was little and we still laugh about it 7 years later!

Becles

The boys are from my previous marriage. My ex did off when they were 2 and 4 years old, and I was on my own for a while with them. Ex barely has much to do with them and doesn't take much of an interest in them. That's his choice - I wouldn't stop him seeing them more often but he doesn't want to. Ex kicks off and winds me up about parenting stuff. Current whinge is because eldest son got into the secondary school that eldest son wants to go to, and not the comp that ex liked best. I was happy with eldest sons choice, and it's just been placed at second in the county in some league table my Mam read about, so it's going to give son a good grounding in life which is most important I think.

The baby is mine and husbands, but hubby has also taken on legal parental responsibility for the boys.

I've been up a lot in the night and I'm going to give up the uni course. It's a nice dream to have - been wanting to do a degree for years, but I married at 18 and ex forbid to do one and it was too much when I attempted it as a single parent. I think it's too much now and probably the one thing that I can give up without causing upset to anyone else.

daphne_descends

Oh Bailey You are NOT a failure and you are NOT crap - you are ill, this is an illness, and you will get better in time - I think you're very brave to have realised this so soon and taken action to sort it out. Ian will manage and Molly will be just fine. All she needs right now is to be fed, to be clean, warm, to sleep - as long as her basic needs are met please, please don't worry. You gave breastfeeding a shot even with a toddler - every feed Molly had from you will have done the world of good so please don't beat yourself up about it. This is a horrible illness and the worst thing you could do is to do what thousands unfortunately do, and suffer in silence :grouphug:

tsstss7

Becles wrote: »

The boys are from my previous marriage. My ex did off when they were 2 and 4 years old, and I was on my own for a while with them. Ex barely has much to do with them and doesn't take much of an interest in them. That's his choice - I wouldn't stop him seeing them more often but he doesn't want to. Ex kicks off and winds me up about parenting stuff. Current whinge is because eldest son got into the secondary school that eldest son wants to go to, and not the comp that ex liked best. I was happy with eldest sons choice, and it's just been placed at second in the county in some league table my Mam read about, so it's going to give son a good grounding in life which is most important I think.

The baby is mine and husbands, but hubby has also taken on legal parental responsibility for the boys.

I've been up a lot in the night and I'm going to give up the uni course. It's a nice dream to have - been wanting to do a degree for years, but I married at 18 and ex forbid to do one and it was too much when I attempted it as a single parent. I think it's too much now and probably the one thing that I can give up without causing upset to anyone else.

Hi Becles

Your situation with the secondary schools reminds me of my ex - we often disagree about parenting direction and funnily enough my oh sometimes agrees with him :mad: however I've got used to it now as it's been 7 years + so I tend to "tell him off" every now and again ( the ex that is not ds1) when I feel he has overstepped the mark but otherwise I ignore the little things -like never putting ds1 to bed much before 11pm etc as I know that he would blatently ignore me anyway.

I see your biggest is at secondary school so I guess it's been a while for you too.....nice to see that your oh has taken on a parenting role though - mine cant really as ds1 has his dad and sees him regularly so sees my oh as apart from him to some extent -the baby has brought us together more though which has been nice.

Sorry to hear you are thinking about giving up your degree - are you doing it thrugh the OU? I attempted to do one when DS1 was small and ended up doing badly and giving up each year during the summer holidays as the constant presence of child seemed to make study impossible...I want to do a course next year when ds2 is bigger but I'm not sure if I can yet, I found before that every time an assignment was due I'd not do anything else until it was finished so the house would become a pit:D I need to learn how to pace myself better I think.

There are lots of online learning sites now though that are good for more basic courses - I did one in web design last year (also gave up as I then went into full time work and couldn't spare time) they are here if you are interested
www.vision2learn.co.uk
- they used to be free for all but now have certain criteria so you would have to check about that but they are good in that there are no set deadlines like the OU etc - that was my downfall in the end as deadlines always seemed to come at v. inconveinet times.

Dormouse

Bailey *hugs* I agree with everything Fac said - Molly will be fine, and nobody thinks you're crap. :grouphug: DO keep talking to us, we are all here to listen.

Becles - you can continue with your degree later so it's not like you have to give up on your dream completely. My DH is with the OU too and he's had to put his course on hold since we've had Alex, as it's just impossible with a baby. You can still do it when Charlotte is a bit bigger!

Do you feel better having made this decision? Hopefully it will make your life a bit less hectic at the moment. :grouphug:

purplepatch

Bay - just to send you a few more hugs. As everyone else has said, you are not crap or a failure or anything else that you said, you can only do your best and you will get through it. Keep posting.

And Becles, hugs to you too, can only reiterate what other posters have said. Hope you can get a bit more time for yourself now and hopefully can carry on with the OU when things settle down a bit.

xx

SusanCarter

Hugs to everyone who needs them. :grouphug:

Bailey - you've done well to manage even a week of breastfeeding with such a young toddler too. Any breastfeeding even just one feed is a benefit so you have given Molly a good start in life. Also, it's good that you have admitted there are problems and are getting help rather than struggling on by yourself and letting things get worse.

Beccles - you've done well to get as much of the uni course done as you have (I'm sure I couldn't have managed that) and like others have said, you can always continue at a later date. Another thing I thought of since my last post is that maybe your OH doesn't feel as confident with babies especially with you having more experience. We have some friends with two children and that dad never real had much contact with children before. The first time they came to church with their second one, his wife asked him to put the baby's hat on so they could leave and he said, "I'd rather you did it as I'm worried I'll hurt her." (He did do it after I pointed out that it couldn't be worse than being born.) Also my OH gets frustrated when he muddles things up when looking after Alice because he doesn't do it all the time like I do so doesn't always know what's the best thing to do with her in a given situation. Hope that's useful - I'm not trying to make excuses for him but if you can find the reasons then it means it is easier to address the problems.

[Deleted User]

Hi guys,

Not really posted much in here but we are doing OK. Alexander is now 9 weeks old and is so lovely i could squish him wish he could get rid of his night feed but oh well all in good time.

He is a bit snotty at the mo I feel sorry for him.