MSE Parent Club

Dormouse

Curious_George wrote: »

back to square one since i posted that im afraid.... :rolleyes:
he still isnt eating what i deem to be 'enough' and when we see the HV in about an hour im sure she will agree (and probably make me feel like an awful neglectful mother for letting it go on for so long)

we will see what she says....
(not looking forward to this... can you tell?)
he narrowly avoided having a feeding tube up his nose while he was having the photo therapy because he wouldnt eat.... i REALLY dont want to end up back there and have to see him full of tubes

How did it go, CG? Hope she was helpful.

And don't let anyone make you feel like an awful neglectful mother - you know you're not, we know you're not. :grouphug: I can imagine how worrying this situation is for you, but hopefully it will improve soon.

Maybe he's just not a hungry baby? Maybe he'll grow up to be one of those lucky people who don't eat huge amounts, as opposed to pigs like me (she says, shoving another chocolate biscuit in her face :rotfl: )

You said he's got lots of wet and dirty nappies, and has alert periods - that's a good start. How's his weight, has he put any on?

Curious_George_2

hi Dormouse, not too bad after all really...
i explained everything, how he was breast feeding then the hospital made him use bottles, that he wouldnt come back to the breast after we were discharged, that i hated being chained to the steriliser and pump and the subsequent change to formula and that he just wasnt bothered about food etc

she basically said what we had already decided, we have to wake him up about every 2 hours, defintely no longer than 3 hours and try and get something in him, even if its only an ounce at a time
he could be adjusting to all the changes he has already had in his short little life and it may take him a while to feed "normally" (whatever that may be!)

he has lost weight, he was 8lb 9 1/2 oz at birth and 2 weeks later he is 7lb 11 1/2 so he has lost a bit, but she said at the moment she is not overly concerned (due to everything he has been through) but she would like to see some weight gain for next week ... and so would we, so we will make sure it happens!
she didnt actually say anything we didnt already know or hadnt thought of... infact she basically just agreed with everything i said, its just nice to get back up from a 'professional' so you know your getting it right!

apart from the eating thing he is the most perfect baby! very content, very alert and his nappies are always wet or dirty (peeeeeeeeee-OOO! i forgot how stinky formula nappies were! ugh) he is cute as a button and he is even starting to pink up and lose that Homer Simpson colouring
if he was eating enough he would be an absolute dream!

[Deleted User]

Hi everyone,

CG, glad the HV's visit was useful, I hope he starts to feed more regularly now you have a cunning plan.

Things around here have been hectic, on Sunday evening I started getting very bad pains, at first I thought it was wind, then braxton hicks, then they just got worse and worse. By 8.30pm I said to DH that I was starting to not cope and I was calling the hospital They asked us to come in asap. It truely felt like labour pains but constant. Half way there my mum called us to say the hospital wanted us to divert to Brighton as i'm under 34 weeks. I told her to tell the hospital I couldn't spend another 45 mins in the car and we were 15 mins max away. So we continued. When we finally arrived on the delivery suite, I was in agony and didn't know where to put myself. They couldn't monitor the baby as she was so active too. They gave me pethadine and entonox to try to calm me down. They established that my cervix was closed still and I had no bleeding, so it didn't appear to be labour. But it was more scary being in such excruitiating pain and no one knowing why. Anyway the long and short of it was, I was then ambulanced down to Brighton but the pethadine wore off, so I had a very uncomfortable journey. Brighton did the same checks and couldn't find a cause. By 12.30am, the pain started to subside and the doctor said we should wait a few hours before going home, or I could stay the night. I didn't know what to do, part of me wanted to go home with DH and the other half was scared of the pain returning once we got home.

We decided to give it another hour, I was still niggling but the pain was much more manageable. Over the course of the last few hours, we'd heard this lady in labour (the know the sound effects!) and then at 1am we heard a baby cry. I looked up and DH and said "She's done it, the baby is out". For some reason I felt all emotional even though I wasn't in the same room and didn't even know this lady.

We decided it was best for me to stay and DH left me at 2am, I fell asleep and then woke at 4am and could not get back. So definitely a bad night all round. DH only got a few hours too as Jack woke at 6am and decided it was time to start the day.

Right back to my questions, sorry to be a pain but I often feel overwhelmed by every thing and feel clueless at times. I am often finding myself in tears lately and feel very low, I feel I am having more bad days than good. I said to DH that life has become a chore, there is hardly any fun, I guess that is parenthood for you.

If anyone has had children close together or knows people, what did they do about a changing bag. Our huggies freebie is on its last legs and only has enough room for Jack's things, let alone another baby. I haven't seen double changing bags, but there must be something for people with twins? I can't carry a rucksack as I have a bad back.

I am still worried that the newborn is going to wake Jack up and then we'll be stuck with two cry babies. He has always been a light sleeper. We have just got him to start having reseasonable sleep habits with controlled crying and I feel we are going to take a massive step backwards. So not only are we going to be exhausted by a newborn, but a 14 month old too, who will be grumpy during the day. Am I worrying about nothing?

How did you manage to get stuff done around the house with an older child and newborn? At the moment I can do some things whilst Jack is playing and the other stuff I do when he's asleep, but I can't see that happening when the newborn is here. Jack has proven to me he can't be left alone with a young baby, he is too heavy handed and i don't see how I am going to get any jobs done.

I am still worrying about breast feeding, as I had such an awful experience with Jack, i'm finding myself worrying about doing it again. I really want to but I found the whole thing so stressful before, I never felt I was doing it properly. What with Jack's jaundice, reflux and tongue tie, I didn't stand a chance. Will I have the time to breast feed with Jack at my heels or would formula be better, so other people can help and the baby won't need feeding 1-2 hourly.

We are still using a monitor with Jack and plan to for a while yet, but I know of friends who stopped using one somewhere between the ages of 16 months- 2 years. Is this about right? Jack's monitor won't pick up sound in the baby's room, so we are going to have to use two for a while. I just wondered what other people did. We wouldn't hear Jack crying in the evening over the tv and shut doors.

Sorry for all these questions but I just feel like such a worry gut lately.

Susan, thanks for the info, my HV doesn't recommend students as they've had bad experiences of them around here. Anyway back at the beginning of September she referred me to Homestart, but its taken ages for anything to happen. I had a phone call yesterday and finally someone is coming around to see me next thursday to discuss my needs. Hopefully I may get a bit of help, I do hope so.

I must go to bed, we all have colds and runny noses at the moment and I feel my legs are full of lead.

Js_Other_Half

<<Bailey>>

No wonder you are upset and stressed - most of us would be in your cirumstances. I hope the baby stays where s/he is for the next couple of months, and that you get some well deserved rest.

My Mum had us both less than a year apart, and today when I was coping with a fractious unhappy 11 month old, I thought I couldn't even begin to imagine what it would have been like if I was 8 months pg...

As for the changing bag, I found some of the Sammies range in TKMaxx. The weekender is huge, and there are some for sale on ebay. This site shows the sort of thing: http://www.kiddimine.com/Samsonite_Sammies_Carry_Case_Change_Bag_Penguin_p/bmat104.htm

I hope you feel better soon.

Snaggles

Bailey, what a worrying time you have had....I really wish I could just give you a huge hug and tell you everything is going to be okay.

It honestly will be, I promise.....and I never lie (except when I say I'm a size 12, when we all know I can only just squeeze into a 14 ).

Please do talk to your health visitor/midwife and tell them your worries - I'm sure they will try to put your mind at rest.

In the meantime, hope you are having a more restful night....take care sweetheart xxx

[Deleted User]

Thank you both for replying, its just tough at the moment and so I feel down. I just can't see it getting better either when this one arrives, more work, less sleep etc. I know it will after a few years when they aren't tied to bottles, routines, feeding etc. You can be a bit more spontaneous.

What an earth were you two doing up at that time, i'm lucky to make it past 10pm these days, let alone gone midnight! Please tell me it was baby related, either existing or conceiving

Becles

Sorry to hear you are having a rough time bailey *hugs*

I think it's natural to worry and then things start to look huge and out of proportion - bl**dy hormones! I'm sure you'll be fine once baby is here, and you get settled into a routine that works for you.

SusanCarter

Sorry to hear things are difficult for you at the moment Bailey. My youngest brothers are twins so I'll ask my mum what she did about a change bag. I know she didn't go anywhere except for the essentials in the first few months and had all her friends come to see her rather than her go to them because it took so long to get ready to go out. I imagine as most of the stuff is the same for changing, you would just need extra nappies in a different size for the baby? Having said that, we don't use our Huggies bag for Alice as we couldn't fit everything in it but that's because we ec and use cloth nappies and I always keep a few disposables and a change of clothing in it "just in case". The one we use is bigger than the Huggies one but was given by a friend who said she kept buying different change bags as she couldn't find one she liked so am not sure where it's from but it says "City Baby" on the side if that's any help? (I presume it's a brand name or a shop?)

On Jack being woken by the baby, I guess you can't really tell until the baby comes but I know when my brothers had night feeds they didn't disturb each other as my mum said that at first she used to wake the other one to feed when the first one woke so she could feed them at the same time (she was bf and could do them at the same time) but she said the one who she'd woken then wouldn't settle back to sleep so she just used to get up at the seperate times in the night to feed them.

My mum also said that when she first had me I would fill her day and she couldn't imagine how people could manage with a baby and a toddler but she said when she had my brother he was much easier than I had been because she knew what she was doing as she'd already done it before with me.

As for whether to breastfeed, at the end of the day, you've just got to do what you think is best for you and your baby and whilst there are obviously health benefits to breastfeeding, there are other factors to consider and there are pros and cons of both. As my husband said, "They might say breast is best but it's not like formula is poison." so don't feel bad if you do decide to formula feed.

Hope some of that's some use.

jenpoptab

Hi all, ~It's been ages since I've posted. I've just been so busy.

Bailey I hope today is a better day. Before you know it baby will be here and you will all settle into bedtime, housework, feeding pattern, generally having another doesn't make too much difference.

I'm struggling with lack of sleep.Hayden will be 20 weeks on Sunday and he is getting worse rather than better. He's been up every few hours for feeds but I fall asleep with him so am unsure of what he is getting. OH convinced we need to wean him but I am stressed as they say six months. Bearing in mind this is baby no 3, you would think I'd know what to do but I'm not sure. He's so engrossed in what we eat and he's still sucking my boobs dry. Suppose I may call into clinic next week and ask HV.

Re: HV visits. I saw HV at 5 weeks and 12 weeks ish and was told to call or pop into clinic if wished to see anyone. This differs with each area and HV as it was different for my other two.

Hayden been on antibiotics for chestiness which he finished on Monday. He sounds awful again now, really rattling and chesty as he has yet another cold. He obviously is just going to be a chesty baby.

Curious George, belated congratulations. I hope things too are getting better for you and that your lil one is started to put a bit of weight on.

Anyway I must go, I am feeding as I type and lil man is starting to fall asleep.

Take care everyone. Jen x

purplepatch

Awww, hugs to you Bailey. It will be tough with two little ones, no doubt about it, but I'm sure like others have said that you will manage. I think it's one of those things that seems worse in anticipation - once the baby is here you will find a way that works for you and will get by just fine. In the meantime, try not to worry about it and put those feet up and RELAX!!

Can I ask a teething question please. Izzy has about 6 teeth all coming through at once and has been waking every night for about the past fortnight... not good. Last night I gave her 10ml calpol before bed and she slept through again. Hurrah, but it's not really something I feel overly comfortable about making a habit of doing. What do others do to get through their LOs teething? Is it ok to give a nightly dose of paracetemol until the teeth cut through?