hi need to vent

shellsuit

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

yes it is. have you been under a rock for the past few months? phone hacking! ring a bell?

Oh give over, it's not the same thing at all.

relic

darlyd wrote: »

My bitterness?

How the f am I trying to break up ANOTHER relationship? Please explain.

< scratches head >

Read your posts and you will see why.

I don't know you, but you sound like you have had issues with relationships yourself, try not to push these on to other peoples situation.

Tropez

Lots of people jumping to conclusions.

Firstly, deleting messages isn't an abnormal action. Depending on the type of phone there can be various reasons for deleting messages - space concerns, habit, those phones that store message exchanges as conversations... I know people who routinely clear out their phones for reasons such as these.

It should also be said that if you're reading through his phone and opening his bills then there is a lack of trust in the relationship anyway and if he is receiving messages from this woman then he's deleting them anyway because he thinks no matter what they say you'll accuse him of the worst.

Secondly, 100 texts in three days - it isn't a great amount, particularly if you're catching up with somebody or you're a fast texter. It is quite easy to not realise how many text messages you are sending to, particularly if you're just doing it to break up the day. I'm sure most of us have got one of those friends who can spit out SMS essays every 20 seconds.

The idea that nothing may have happened yet is also ignoring the idea that nothing may happen, full stop.

relic

Tropez wrote: »

Lots of people jumping to conclusions.

Firstly, deleting messages isn't an abnormal action. Depending on the type of phone there can be various reasons for deleting messages - space concerns, habit, those phones that store message exchanges as conversations... I know people who routinely clear out their phones for reasons such as these.

It should also be said that if you're reading through his phone and opening his bills then there is a lack of trust in the relationship anyway and if he is receiving messages from this woman then he's deleting them anyway because he thinks no matter what they say you'll accuse him of the worst.

Secondly, 100 texts in three days - it isn't a great amount, particularly if you're catching up with somebody or you're a fast texter. It is quite easy to not realise how many text messages you are sending to, particularly if you're just doing it to break up the day. I'm sure most of us have got one of those friends who can spit out SMS essays every 20 seconds.

The idea that nothing may have happened yet is also ignoring the idea that nothing may happen, full stop.

Oh don't be silly.

She should be opening his mail, his email, his facebook, his phone, ring all his old girlfriends and making sure to tell them to back off!

That's normal, right?

dirtysexymonkey

shellsuit wrote: »

Oh give over, it's not the same thing at all.

yes it is. one is a written message the other is a spoken one. its exactly the same. lost your moral highground there havent you!:rotfl:

balletshoes

see to me, 100 texts over 3 days is a huge amount - neither me nor my OH text that much in a month, never mind 3 days. If this is out of character for the OPs OH, then I think she needs to talk to him about it. Yes, he absolutely could have legitimate reasons for the amount of texts to this woman, but unless she asks him about it, she's not going to know what those reasons are.

emmaBZ

hi yeah there is lack of trust as this is the guy who when my friend asked him to help her with electrical work at her house after she split from her OH he messaged her asking if she would be wearing stockings and short skirt !! so yes i do have trust issues with him, and as for checking his phone my daughter wanted to send a text so she used it and there was no stored texts, but he only texts her when hes at work ?

balletshoes

emmaBZ wrote: »

hi yeah there is lack of trust as this is the guy who when my friend asked him to help her with electrical work at her house after she split from her OH he messaged her asking if she would be wearing stockings and short skirt !!
so yes i do have trust issues with him, and as for checking his phone my daughter wanted to send a text so she used it and there was no stored texts, but he only texts her when hes at work ?

and how did he explain that one away?

Tropez

balletshoes wrote: »

see to me, 100 texts over 3 days is a huge amount - neither me nor my OH text that much in a month, never mind 3 days. If this is out of character for the OPs OH, then I think she needs to talk to him about it. Yes, he absolutely could have legitimate reasons for the amount of texts to this woman, but unless she asks him about it, she's not going to know what those reasons are.

Even the idea of it being "out of character" doesn't mean much. If I were to go through my old mobile bills there would be drastic variations in the number of minutes and/or texts I've used from time to time. Recently, I sent 950 text messages in a month; far, far above my normal 100 or so... am I cheating on my partner? No.

Now sure, she can ask him but he would be well within his rights to leave her, right then and there.

emmaBZ wrote: »

hi yeah there is lack of trust as this is the guy who when my friend asked him to help her with electrical work at her house after she split from her OH he messaged her asking if she would be wearing stockings and short skirt !! so yes i do have trust issues with him, and as for checking his phone my daughter wanted to send a text so she used it and there was no stored texts, but he only texts her when hes at work ?

I always find it out odd how much worse stories about OP's partner's behaviour come out later.

I only text certain people while I'm working, including old friends. It breaks up the day quite nicely and it also means I don't have to interrupt my private time with my partner when she gets home for no good reason.

If you have trust issues, then why are you in a relationship with him? You're clearly looking to catch him out doing something wrong and if he is such a colossal pervert that he has been messaging people about what they're going to be wearing then why would you be with him?

dirtysexymonkey

emmaBZ wrote: »

hi yeah there is lack of trust as this is the guy who when my friend asked him to help her with electrical work at her house after she split from her OH he messaged her asking if she would be wearing stockings and short skirt !! so yes i do have trust issues with him, and as for checking his phone my daughter wanted to send a text so she used it and there was no stored texts, but he only texts her when hes at work ?

maybe hes deleted them for space? if hes only got a normal phone as you say then he might be in need of it. if hes deleted every text and not just the ones to her then maybe its not as sisnister as some bitter posters would have you believe.