hi need to vent

Darlyd

relic wrote: »

Ah right, darlyd the one that knows everything about other peoples relationships!

No, he has been texting her, her has been talking to her on facebook. That is someone who doesn't want to be in a relationship with his current partner.

It always makes me laugh when guys get away with it, and the single woman always gets the blame.

What is your problem?

I was just saying that: Yes if op approaches her DH he will just deny it, and say he has been a ear for that woman, that is something most men will do. And he will say he will stop, but he won't. Perhaps he has been telling that woman his relationship has come to an end, and he is only there because blah blah.

Obviously up to the op what she wants to do, but I know what I would want to do, and that is to get the facts from the other woman first, then approach DH.

relic

darlyd wrote: »

What is your problem?

I was just saying that: Yes if op approaches her DH he will just deny it, and say he has been a ear for that woman, that is something most men will do. And he will say he will stop, but he won't. Perhaps he has been telling that woman his relationship has come to an end, and he is only there because blah blah.

Obviously up to the op what she wants to do, but I know what I would want to do, and that is to get the facts from the other woman first, then approach DH.

You have no idea what he will do.

Going to the woman first, instead of her husband? That's not strange at all. I'd suggest that you get your partners to take more responsibility.

dirtysexymonkey

candygirl wrote: »

Sounds quite dodgy to me.100 texts is way OTT even for a normal relationship, let alone an old friend :eek::eek:
Hope he comes up with a reasonable explanation, and take care of yourself xx:A

i wouldnt jump to conclusions. if he has a smartphone then 100 texts isnt that much really. could be a string of long messages between them. maybe a catch up? maybe he deleted the messages to spare your feelings? if your quite insecure then maybe he thought it was for the best but still wanted to be in touch with an old friend? dont fear the worst op, you;ll only work yourself up and feel crap yourself. wait until you see his face before you say anythng. and if he has done something then make him sleep in the bloody shed!

Darlyd

Let's just see how she approached it. And what he/she told her.

Do hope she is OK, she must be so upset.

dirtysexymonkey

darlyd wrote: »

What is your problem?

I was just saying that: Yes if op approaches her DH he will just deny it, and say he has been a ear for that woman, that is something most men will do. And he will say he will stop, but he won't. Perhaps he has been telling that woman his relationship has come to an end, and he is only there because blah blah.

Obviously up to the op what she wants to do, but I know what I would want to do, and that is to get the facts from the other woman first, then approach DH.

maybe he has just been an ear? you sound really bitter. you cant judge all relationships by your own.

ska_lover

emmaBZ wrote: »

hi im so unbelievably fked off.... OH was chatting to an old friend on facebook (female) anyway ok fair enuff im not sure what sort of friend i.e EX ect, but shes now seperated and lives local, anyway i noticed hes been deleting his texts over the last week and today his itemised bill arrived and he texted her on wed thur and fri over 100 times, i know its her cuz she got her number on facebook, im so !!!!ed off. im shaking and so close to tears i wont call him at work cuz i want to see his face when i ask him but got all 4 kids at home as school hols,
so why delete messages if your not hidding something and over 100 texts in 3 days, ( only in work time ?!!!) :(:(:(:(

part of me wants to tell him to do one, part of me wants to curl up and cry

I'm sorry to hear this OP. You are right, it DOES sound dodgy.

I had a similar situ with an ex a few years back, and he denied any dodgy texts that were flying backwards and forwards, so here is what i did. When he denied it, i said ''ok fine'' and he thought I had left it.

When he was asleep I got hold of his phone and used the internet to register him with something called O2 blueroom i think it was (you have to be on 02). The site texts the phone once to confirm registration, so i deleted the registration text from his phone and placed it back where I had found it. This site gives you access to all send and recieved emails going forward. I got the proof I needed and he never did find out how he ended up to be coming home to his clothes in the front garden in bin bags.

I'm not suggesting that this is right or anything to behave like this, but sometimes you just GOT to get peace of mind before it drives you crazy. I am sure there will be plenty of people along in a minute to say how wrong it is to behave like this, but I honestly did not care. Mental health is at stake here!

emmaBZ

thanx im so upset but so angry its not even that he might be doing something its the lying and betrayal, by the way not a smartphone, just a normal mobile, so no excuses, 100 texts is ridiculous want to speak to him now but will wait till hes home, oh and if i dont get a straight answer from him i will be going to see her, i dont know her as they knew eachother before we met,

candygirl

emmaBZ wrote: »

thanx im so upset but so angry its not even that he might be doing something its the lying and betrayal, by the way not a smartphone, just a normal mobile, so no excuses, 100 texts is ridiculous want to speak to him now but will wait till hes home, oh and if i dont get a straight answer from him i will be going to see her, i dont know her as they knew eachother before we met,

Totally agree hun, and don't be fobbed off with lies and excuses.If you don't believe any explanation he gives you i'd deffo ring her, on his phone;):D

Darlyd

ska_lover wrote: »

I'm sorry to hear this OP. You are right, it DOES sound dodgy.

I had a similar situ with an ex a few years back, and he denied any dodgy texts that were flying backwards and forwards, so here is what i did. When he denied it, i said ''ok fine'' and he thought I had left it.

When he was asleep I got hold of his phone and used the internet to register him with something called O2 blueroom i think it was (you have to be on 02). The site texts the phone once to confirm registration, so i deleted the registration text from his phone and placed it back where I had found it. This site gives you access to all send and recieved emails going forward. I got the proof I needed and he never did find out how he ended up to be coming home to his clothes in the front garden in bin bags.

I'm not suggesting that this is right or anything to behave like this, but sometimes you just GOT to get peace of mind before it drives you crazy. I am sure there will be plenty of people along in a minute to say how wrong it is to behave like this, but I honestly did not care. Mental health is at stake here!

I just logged into his email account in the end, guessed his secret answers. And I too left him.

I totally agree with you.

OP hope your OK :A

fannyanna

I don't mean to add fuel to the fire but surely if he is 100% innocent and he is just being an ear to this girl why does he feel that he has to hide the text messages?

Personally I think your feelings are completely justified.