How Did You Afford/Pay for Your/Your Daughter's Wedding?

coffeebeen

We got married last August, and paid for everything ourselves. As a result, we had about £4k to spend on a wedding and so we decided to go abroad with just 10 guests and got married in the sun of Italy- it was perfect and significantly cheaper than getting married here! (The £4k included our honeymoon there for 2 weeks as well).

When we got back we had a party in a village hall that was also a joint party for my parents 30th wedding anniversary and got everyone together- it wasn't fancy but so so much fun! And it cost about £400.

I am firmly of the opinion that weddings are not about how much you spend, but who you marry and I couldn't stand the thought of spending £10k+ on just one day! It wouldn't make me any less married. I also wouldn't have dreamed that my parents would pay for any of it, that just seems so odd!

Gemmy_2

I'm about to turn 21 and is in a very stable and long relationship. Who knows what could happen in the next couple of years?
I wouldn't expect my parents (or his for that matter) to pay for anything and i think i'd almost prefer it if they didn't.
I know my parents might want to pay for something like a dress.. but i'd rather us pay the bulk.

My OH brother is about to get married and his parents have paid for things like the disco and suit hire.. i know his bride's parents is paying bits here and there too, but i think the main bulk is paid for by them.

Brighton_belle

shellsuit wrote: »

Are you sure?!

Normally it's only that expensive for a registrar if you are getting married at a venue and not in the reg office.

onlyroz wrote: »

Wow that's expensive. I didn't pay anything like that for my civil wedding. Admittedly it was 9 years ago but I thought it only got expensive if you wanted the registrar to leave their cosy office and marry you in some other building. I seem to remember paying the Richmond registrar a few hundred quid to cross the river and marry us in Twickenham.

EDITED to correct: no I made an error - put it down to brides fluffy brain after recieving a proposal and booking wedding in space of last 9 days,rofl!
They are closing the registry office down so we had little choice but to pay a bit more than a registry office would cost but in a another council office 100m down the road. Didn't realsie this would affect registrar price!
A lot of people will be affected by the closure of the registry office due to cut backs.
We're happy though... we getting married:)

onlyroz

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Regretably, yes I am sure, lol, we have just had to pay it.
It is due to the cut backs, the county where we are marrying has chosen to raise these prices. The registrar apologised to us,lol.
As of September, it is also closing the registry office too.

So it's another "post-code lottery" then...

Chick

I think nowadays the couple should pay for it if they are both working, and any contributions from parents/family should be gratefully received though not necessarily expected.

On the point of losing control of wedding organising/details, I went to a friend's wedding last year, had a great time and I imagine the cost was in excess of 30k.

However, the bride said that pretty much the whole thing had be organised by the groom's family/father...even down to decisions such as what food was served, the seating plan & who was on the guest list.

The FIL is a rich businessman who likes the finest things in life- the guest list seemed heavy with work/business contacts rather than actual true friends of the bride/groom.

Personally, on balance I'd rather have a smaller, more intimate wedding and foot the bill with my other OH than have a enormously expensively one but have almost no say in the whole thing!

Actually, on another note, the idea of spending thousands & thousands on one day seems utterly ridiculous to me...I think people get swept up in the whole 'wedding thing' and forget that there is a whole 'marriage' to come afterwards!

The recent film 'Bridesmaids' made me laugh sooo much as a lot of it rings true, but with a different twist as it wasn't the bride who completely lost the plot.
Judging by the whole engagement party, followed by wedding shower, Hen party and wedding, both the bride & groom would need rich family- but hey it was an american film, but illustrated how people get carried away with weddings!

I digress...

BlondeHeadOn

Years ago, my sister eloped and told us they were married one week later.

My Dad was ecstatic, because it meant he didn't have to pay for the wedding !!

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Person_one

coffeebeen wrote: »

We got married last August, and paid for everything ourselves. As a result, we had about £4k to spend on a wedding and so we decided to go abroad with just 10 guests and got married in the sun of Italy- it was perfect and significantly cheaper than getting married here! (The £4k included our honeymoon there for 2 weeks as well).

When we got back we had a party in a village hall that was also a joint party for my parents 30th wedding anniversary and got everyone together- it wasn't fancy but so so much fun! And it cost about £400.

I am firmly of the opinion that weddings are not about how much you spend, but who you marry and I couldn't stand the thought of spending £10k+ on just one day! It wouldn't make me any less married. I also wouldn't have dreamed that my parents would pay for any of it, that just seems so odd!

Did you pay for your 10 guests too? If not then while it was cheaper for you then it was probably the most expensive wedding they've been to!

mummyroysof3

I got married 8 years ago and it cost about £3500 for everything, most of this was payed for by hubbys parents and mine who are seperated. they offered and we didnt say no but didnt expect it or ask. only 6 months before we had bought our 1st house and spent way more than that gutting the place so was very grateful for them doing it or we may have had to cancel the wedding. I think for my own 3 children i would like to contribute to the cost of something but will not be bringing them up to expect it to be payed for

redhead122

We were v lucky that my parents offered 5k towards our wedding, as they had given my brother the same for a house deposit, and we already had our house.

I really wasn't expecting anything from them, and it was lovely that we had enough to get the day we wanted. I tried to refuse the money but mum and dad had saved hard and wanted us to have the day of our dreams.
OH parents contributed by paying for the cake and other things, and we paid for everything else.

In an mse way, it motivated me more to haggle hard to get discounts and find bargains for the wedding, as I wanted to get value for money for mum and dad as they had paid the majority, and not waste it.

All in all we were v grateful for everyone's contribution and we had an amazing day.

HTH

Sammy_Girl

tesuhoha wrote: »

I'm just going to save some money so that it is there if she needs it. I suppose it could equally be put towards a house deposit. I will save it and wait to see what her plans are.

Sorry, I've not read the whole thread, but I think this is a very good idea. Your DD will then have the option.

When we bought our first house in 2007, my parents said that they will either pay our deposit or pay for a wedding - and we gratefully accepted the deposit! We got married in 2009 and paid the majority of the wedding and honeymoon ourselves, and the rest was paid for by DH's parents. I loved our wedding day, and it really was the best day of our lives, but when I look back now, I wish that we would have been more conservative and put the money towards the mortgage!