How Did You Afford/Pay for Your/Your Daughter's Wedding?

VfM4meplse

marywooyeah wrote: »

My dad offered to pay for the reception - I took this with a pinch of salt as he never keeps promises, and he stole my savings from me when I was 12. Needless to say, we paid for the reception ourselves and he never mentioned it. Neither my mum nor MIL offered anything towards the costs, my mum asked me to meet her in town the day before my wedding and when we got the bus back she said "I'll only need a single won't I?" - I said oh is your friend coming to pick you up tonight then and she said "oh no I'm staying at yours". so I spent my last night of freedom sat up til 4 am making orders of service and a buffet for the all the people who were coming round the next day before catching a few hours kip on the settee.

my dad didn't even give us a card on the day either

Total child abuse .

Seriously, you have my sympathy. I'm sure your experiences with your family will shape how you choose to raise your own, in a positive way.

tesuhoha

Seems like weddings bring out the best and the worst in people.

CH27

tesuhoha wrote: »

Seems like weddings bring out the best and the worst in people.

They really do!:D

I'm still waiting for the money for our wedding flowers from my MIL.
We've been married 18yrs:rotfl:

puffinmuffin

I am surprised any daughters still expect their parents to pay for their weddings. I certainly don't and would be sorely dissappointed if I did, they have shown little interest in our wedding even thogh i am the first and most likely only one to get hitched. OH and I earn more than my parents so it would be strange to accept money from them. OHs dad has contributed the same amount he gave his sister 4 years ago, if it wasn't for this we would be having a very small wedding but FIL gave us the money for that purpose.

tesuhoha

CH27 wrote: »

They really do!:D

I'm still waiting for the money for our wedding flowers from my MIL.
We've been married 18yrs:rotfl:

Um - I hate to tell you this - I think you're going to have to wait a while longer :rotfl:

sashadesade

Isn't it a bit old fashioned the idea of the bride's parents footing the bill? My husband and I paid for our own wedding, my mother suggested giving us some money towards it but I refused because my parents only have their disabled living allowance.
Our wedding was very small and inexpensive which is what we wanted, so monetary gifts kindly given by our guests (which we didn't ask for I hasten to add, we didn't expect or ask for any gifts or money) actually ended up covering the cost of the wedding and reception anyway.
I wouldn't have done it any differently. Starting off married life with a whopping debt just seems crazy to me!

shellsuit

My Dad gave us around a grand towards our wedding (not in one go, he gave us money here and there to pay things off and wouldn't take No for an answer) and my Mum and stepdad paid for our photographer, those were instead of a gift.

I don't think parents should feel the need to pay for their daughters wedding. I certainly didn't expect my parents to pay for ours!

belfastgirl23

I do know a friend had a wonderful surprise when her parents paid for her wedding reception. they hadn't indicated all along that they were going to so she had budgeted and set money aside for it. But on the day they insisted. It meant that she could go on honeymoon feeling that she didn't have to pennypinch. I thought it was a lovely thing to do, it meant the bride didn't have to take into account who was paying for stuff and also that they gave her a bit of financial slack when she was stretched financially. A very nice thing to do IMHO but it will obviously depend on you and your daughter It was a very MSE wedding though so the cost of the reception wasn't huge (comparatively) but a lot to the people paying for it!

VfM4meplse

CH27 wrote: »

I'm still waiting for the money for our wedding flowers from my MIL.
We've been married 18yrs:rotfl:

Maybe you can get your own back by not buying flowers for her funeral .

jeanniebeanie_2

My daughter got engaged last month and is getting married on a Florida island next June. She expects no contribution towards the wedding, understanding that it will cost family a lot to attend (only immediate family invited). However, we are helping out my son and GF with costs to go as they have very recently bought their first home which needs work. We have also decided we would like to buy her wedding dress.

I also agree with others that there is no need for a bride's parents to feel obliged to foot the bill. We paid for both kids through uni and they knew that our financial commitment to them ended there. What we are doing now we do because we can afford it (with help from the Old Style Board ) and we want to. My son and daughter are both delighted with our offer
and we are pleased to be able to contribute.