How Did You Afford/Pay for Your/Your Daughter's Wedding?
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So many of you have replied and I am reading and appreciating all your comments even though I don't have time to reply to all of them. I am taking note of your responses and how you feel about it so I can get a general consensus of opinion which is that parents like to help as much as they are able.The forest would be very silent if no birds sang except for the birds that sang the best0
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It seems from all your comments that most parents wish to contribute something, even if you don't want them to. My husband is quite a proud person and he would be most upset if he didn't pay for something!!
My dad offered to pay for the reception - I took this with a pinch of salt as he never keeps promises, and he stole my savings from me when I was 12. Needless to say, we paid for the reception ourselves and he never mentioned it. Neither my mum nor MIL offered anything towards the costs, my mum asked me to meet her in town the day before my wedding and when we got the bus back she said "I'll only need a single won't I?" - I said oh is your friend coming to pick you up tonight then and she said "oh no I'm staying at yours". so I spent my last night of freedom sat up til 4 am making orders of service and a buffet for the all the people who were coming round the next day before catching a few hours kip on the settee.
my dad didn't even give us a card on the day either0 -
We saved up for and paid for our own wedding. WOuldn't have let my parents pay although they did insist on contributing £1.5k which covered about 1/3 rd of our wedding. Was really pleased with this contribution. In this day and age, why should the brides family pay for the whole thing?I'll have some cheese please, bob.0
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Hi,
We had a relatively small wedding, with my dad unable to contribute anything financially, and my DH's mum and dad giving £1000. If I would have known the hassle that accepting the £1000 meant, I wouldn't have accepted (that's another story). We got a loan out to pay for our honeymoon, but paid for the wedding, dresses (I bought my sisters bridesmaid dresses) and everything else related to it.
We opted for a small venue for the wedding, and reception in order to have a nicer honeymoon. We went to the Atlantis hotel on Paradise Island in the Bahamas and it was just perfect! In fact I was watching our wedding dvd yesterday!
I think it's a lovely idea that you want to gift your daughter some money for her wedding. I'm sure that whatever amount you can manage, she will be grateful for. You sound like a very kind person.Sometimes you're the dog, but more often you're the tree!:D0 -
I paid for mine myself.. and my daughters are fully aware if they are stupid enough to get married they can pay for it themselves!
OH's mum spent thousands on her daughters wedding which was a complete waste of money..They are now struggling to find the deposit for a house before they can start a family!!
If both are working I think they should pay for their own expenses!
I agree. My daughter is 27 and if she decides to get married she can pay for it herself! I'm struggling to save for a house deposit for myself (have been for 20 years!!). I certainly can't afford to waste money on a wedding! Even if I could afford it I wouldn't anyway - I don't believe in parents paying for weddings. I didn't expect my parents to pay for my very small wedding.0 -
If you're concerned then I'd suggest saving up a lump sum that can be given to her to spend on whatever she wants - whether this is the wedding itself, the honeymoon, or a deposit for a house. If you also have sons then I'd do the same, not wanting to treat children differently.
I paid for my own wedding. My parents paid for the flights on my honeymoon, and my husband's parents gave us £2k in cash as a wedding present. I think that my parents *would* have paid for my wedding if I'd agreed to have it in my home town rather than where I live now.
My brother's wedding was paid for by his wife's parents, and cost probably 20 times what mine cost.0 -
dorsetlady wrote: »I agree. My daughter is 27 and if she decides to get married she can pay for it herself! I'm struggling to save for a house deposit for myself (have been for 20 years!!). I certainly can't afford to waste money on a wedding! Even if I could afford it I wouldn't anyway - I don't believe in parents paying for weddings. I didn't expect my parents to pay for my very small wedding.
I can see your point of view especially as you're struggling to buy a house. Good luck with the house deposit.The forest would be very silent if no birds sang except for the birds that sang the best0 -
We paid for our own wedding, it was a smallish event with very close family members only.
By paying for it ourselves we couldnt be emotionally blackmailed by parents/PIL into inviting this person and that person and auntie and unlce x (who you havent seen since you were 5), and parents friends (the list goes on........yawn)
At least by paying for it ourselves we had total control over what happened and when.
I'm not a control freak by any means but we knew we only wanted a small wedding (32 in total inc 8 kids ). If both of our parents had got involved then it would have been more like 232 :eek:
I have a fairly largeish family as i have stepfamily on both sides.
My mum and stepdad bought our wedding cake from M and S as i wanted my stepdad to decorate it (but i paid for the decorations).
My dad didnt come to the wedding neither did he contribute in anyway.
My stepdad gave me away (he did tell hubby that i was sold as seen and no refunds allowed :rotfl:)
When my sister got married this year she paid for some of it herself but also had help from my mum, nan and our dad, i think my Bils parents put money towards the reception.
(although i do know there were a few heated words between my sister and my mum as mum wanted a few people she felt had a right to be there)My beloved dog Molly27/05/1997-01/04/2008RIP my wonderful stepdad - miss you loads:Axxxxxxxxx:Aour new editionsSenna :male: and Dali :female: both JRT0 -
If you're concerned then I'd suggest saving up a lump sum that can be given to her to spend on whatever she wants - whether this is the wedding itself, the honeymoon, or a deposit for a house. If you also have sons then I'd do the same, not wanting to treat children differently.
I do have a son but he's such a total drop out that its very unlikely. He plays bass in a rock band and we've recently helped him out with new musical equipment. I try to help them out with their different needs. Of course if he ever wanted to marry we would try to contribute as well but I truly think that's a long way off.The forest would be very silent if no birds sang except for the birds that sang the best0 -
By paying for it ourselves we couldnt be emotionally blackmailed by parents/PIL into inviting this person and that person and auntie and unlce x (who you havent seen since you were 5), and parents friends (the list goes on........yawn)
At least by paying for it ourselves we had total control over what happened and when.0
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