How Did You Afford/Pay for Your/Your Daughter's Wedding?

*Louise*

Tygermoth wrote: »

My mother calmly stated that when I had turned 30 she decided I was unlikely to get hitched so had spent the money getting PVC windows put in her house.

Several years later we were all at a family dinner party and I was asked if my long term partner and I would ever consider getting married. I said if we did it would just be the two of us on a beach somewhere. In wades my mother full of righteous indignation saying we couldn’t do that as my mother she had a right to be there. I very calmly stated ‘you lost that right when you bought PVC windows’ much to the confusion of the guests lol.

Well said! :T:T:T:T

toriaterrier

I never asked for my parents to pay for our wedding, we fully expected to pay for ourselves. At the time we got married we didn't have a lot of money so they would pay for things here and there for us. Our wedding was in a church and because we were regulars at that church we had a reduced rate. The reception was in a social club which cost us nothing. My dh's mum did the catering as a present. My mum and dad bought my wedding dress as a present. My uncle drove us to the church as a present (plus his car looked really posh lol) and they paid for our room that night in a hotel. My cousin did the photos. Our honeymoon cost about £150 - a week away in Scarborough in April/May, and my dad drove us there and picked us up having a day out in Scarborough too. My parents paid for the men's suits because they had spare money at the time. Our cake was cheap ones from Marks and Spencers and my mum and me decorated them with sugar flowers ourselves and because one of the cakes was slightly damaged in transit we got a free bottle of champagne for the inconvenience. The wedding ended up costing very little but my mum and dad helped a lot and we are very grateful but they offered and we never once expected or demanded any help. My parents also never once demanded how things should be done. They offered their advice but that was it. Our wedding was very cheap and very small and the whole point of the day was just about my dh and I and that promise to each other we made and not about how fancy it could be.

bylromarha

We got wed in 1999, I was 22, OH 23.

Neither mum contributed as they couldn't afford it.

I'd just finished uni, OH had a job. We had an MSE wedding, kept within our means and recognised it was about the marriage, not the wedding day.

We were skint and we paid our own way with it. Our kids will be expected to do the same.

coffeebeen

Person_one wrote: »

Did you pay for your 10 guests too? If not then while it was cheaper for you then it was probably the most expensive wedding they've been to!

My parents, sisters and grandmother (5 of the guests!) were already going to Italy for their holiday and had already booked a villa in the area- one of the reasons we had the wedding there. Our best friends were travelling round Europe and just timed their planned trip to Italy with our wedding. We paid for flights and 2 nights accomodation for everyone else and requested no gifts- it was quite affordable to everyone and we discussed it with all of them prior to booking! They all wanted to visit the area anyway, so we decided to turn it into a brilliant holiday for everyone.

So no, it wasn't the most expensive wedding they had been to- certainly no more expensive than staying in a hotel in the UK for a night including gift, drinks, outfit etc for a normal UK wedding

bratz81

I haven't read any replies yet only the OP so may have missed something (probably have knowing me!) but...why on earth would you be expected to pay for her wedding?

I would never in a million years expect my parents to pay, or contribute at all, to mine, and my fiance and I are paying for it all ourselves. Which is exactly how it should be in my opinion. It's my (and his!) wedding, and we're having what we want so obviously we should pay for it.

poppy_f1

although im single if i were to get married i wouldnt be expecting my parent to pay for it

Person_one

coffeebeen wrote: »

My parents, sisters and grandmother (5 of the guests!) were already going to Italy for their holiday and had already booked a villa in the area- one of the reasons we had the wedding there. Our best friends were travelling round Europe and just timed their planned trip to Italy with our wedding. We paid for flights and 2 nights accomodation for everyone else and requested no gifts- it was quite affordable to everyone and we discussed it with all of them prior to booking! They all wanted to visit the area anyway, so we decided to turn it into a brilliant holiday for everyone.

So no, it wasn't the most expensive wedding they had been to- certainly no more expensive than staying in a hotel in the UK for a night including gift, drinks, outfit etc for a normal UK wedding

Glad to hear it, I wish more people who decided to have their weddings abroad were so considerate!

borokat

I got married a few weeks ago. My parents contributed £11k towards the cost. As planning continued they ended up paying for some additional things on top of that because they wanted certain things (e.g. upgrade the starter). I saved about £5k myself, and my hubby paid for a few things as we went along. We were able to use Tesco vouchers to buy some gifts from Goldsmiths, and our wedding rings are on a 0% finance deal over 3 years.
I would have been happy with any contribution and cut my cloth accordingly. I feel very lucky to have parents who were able to afford to do this and therefore give us and our guests such a wonderful day.

If_My_Pennies_Were_Pounds

My sister gets married 2 weeks today.

When they first got engaged they got both sets of parents together for a celebratory drink. While my sister and her DF were at the bar her future in laws told my mum and dad that it would be great to split the wedding 50:50 between both sets of parents. Whilst my mum and dad were happy to go along with that they decided to run it by the bride and groom to see what they thought.

My sister and her DF put their foot down and whilst gratefully accepting help with the wedding stated they would be paying at least a third of the wedding so that they had some say in their day!

The wedding bill is now being split three ways at a cost of about £2500 each to my sister/DF, my parents and his parents.

On another note, I've been with my BF nearly 4 years and although I don't expect anything from my parents when the time comes that we get married, I know they will offer the same so that they are keeping things 'fair and equal' between me and my sister...

Person_one

If_My_Pennies_Were_Pounds wrote: »

My sister gets married 2 weeks today.

When they first got engaged they got both sets of parents together for a celebratory drink. While my sister and her DF were at the bar her future in laws told my mum and dad that it would be great to split the wedding 50:50 between both sets of parents. Whilst my mum and dad were happy to go along with that they decided to run it by the bride and groom to see what they thought.

Wow, the in-laws really put your parents on the spot there!

I don't think in this day and age it should ever be assumed that parents will automatically contribute.