Nice people thread part 4 - sugar and spice and all things

PasturesNew

I might save the cookies for Friday .... they shouldn't be green by then. I've just remembered I have two bread rolls in the car (best before 4th) and a tin of coronation tuna (BBE Sep 2010) that I will shove in them for lunch tomorrow.

So, all in all, I do need a proper meal/treat don't I

Back later .... I am dining out tonight .... in the car park of the takeaway

Edit (49 mins later): Iiiiiii caaaan't mooooove..... managed 2/3rds of it, binned 1/3rd, but I was seriously struggling after the first 1/3rd!
It was a bit salty though

michaels

Shame we are not at home, you could have come for dinner. Was the hammering more bearable today?

We had more of a traditional English holiday day today - bbq in the rain.

I know we have a thread about being poorer than our parents butI'm wondering if any one else is like me, more common than their family?

PasturesNew

michaels wrote: »

Shame we are not at home, you could have come for dinner. Was the hammering more bearable today?

Yes, most people weren't doing any .... and somebody had worked out that if you take a stool/wooden block/book outside you can hammer on the wall quite quietly

I've made something quite .... stunning (for a first attempt), an item that will have to become "my thing" and I will base most future things on this one item.... so there'll be more hammering from me; I am, however, getting quieter/better/faster at that stage.

michaels wrote: »

We had more of a traditional English holiday day today - bbq in the rain.

I know we have a thread about being poorer than our parents butI'm wondering if any one else is like me, more common than their family?

I am poorer than my parents..... they had it easy, there were two of them!

LydiaJ

lir, about your friend...

Controlling husbands usually start off not too bad and gradually get worse and worse over the years. It's possible she chose the jerk he is now, but it's also possible she chose a more reasonable bloke and has trained him into this kind of control-freakery by appeasing him every time he's unreasonable. Appeasement in marriage is about as effective as it was for Chamberlain with Hitler, and if she carries on responding as if his domination is acceptable then he will get progressively more impossible.

You will have to feel your way with this one. FWIW, I recently told a friend of mine that I thought the control imbalance in her relationship was the important issue, and the immediate crisis merely a symptom. That was after she told me she was worried about something he was insisting they should do financially, and worrying about whether she would be able to stop it going ahead, and I pointed out to her that if it was her that wanted it and him that thought they couldn't afford it then it would never have got off the drawing board. But I'm very close to both of them, and they know I only say these things because I love them both and I care. They're both lovely people with some significant flaws - aren't we all?

Doozergirl

lostinrates wrote: »

And this time of year, the huge watermelons they only sell a slice of, or that you go and get in the car, while people shake their heads at the size of melon you buy, then meet with friends on Hamsptead heath and eat with the juice running down your arms, and with bread, feta and black olives

My recollection involves more sitting outside a pub in Streatham High Road with pints of cider!

neverdespairgirl

lostinrates wrote: »

I need help.

Going out with a friend tonight who is very, very cross with her husband. female friendship insists I listen with the right phrases...neither lying and telling her I think her husband is great (tbh I think he's a jerk) but also mustn't critisise him.

"You seem very frustrated"

"Everyone can be an idiot sometimes"

fc123

lostinrates wrote: »

I need help.

Going out with a friend tonight who is very, very cross with her husband. female friendship insists I listen with the right phrases...neither lying and telling her I think her husband is great (tbh I think he's a jerk) but also mustn't critisise him.

I think I exhausted the standard approach or ''I think you're amazing'' ''I wish I had your patience'' on the phone. I need some new material for ''don't get me involved''. They will not split up over this issue, I';m sure, but its not my place to criticise him and also, if I do and it gets back to him he might forbid us ''playing'' together in the future. Or she might be too embarrassed to.

Any stock phrases anyone else uses?

You'll probably find that a good listen and a few sympathetic noises will be enough and is maybe, what she would like?
Hard to tell but we have known many couples and some seem to live like they are at constant war with each other. Truly bizarre.....yet they seem to thrive on it too.

If it's something that she really can't bear then one day she will make a stand. Until that day comes all you can do is be sympathetic, say the right things and not get too involved in agreeing with her critisisms of her OH. Just a nod and an 'mmmm' I know I know'' kind of response.

I have tried to keep up with Doozers move and am confused now.
Were there 3 houses all up for sale (and you live in one until the others sell) or 2? Or did you move into the dream house you found recently? Anyways, hope the unpacking is nearly done now.


..and PN...tut tut ....you need more nutrients than what is in 5 cookies. Is there a supermarket nearby so you can buy some pot salad meals or similar?
I am intrigued by 'your thing' ...is this a big thing made of hammered copper?

Doozergirl

The unpacking is indeed nearly done and I am now trying to get it ready to move again. There was one house for sale, we moved to it to sell it, back home again because it was too far, put home up for sale as well, sold it first so we have moved again to the house we were originally trying to sell! That is going through and the money from both will buy the house where we hope to build a house. Not confusing at all!

The new house is a lot smaller than the combined 4100 square feet that we've had of late (not including garages and cellarage) so I am now onto trying to consolidate before we get there! :eek: I thought we lived fairly minimally, but we don't. I clearly have a thing for furniture. I have more furniture than stuff to put in it.

Does anyone want a Habitat Stella dining table going cheap?! I have two

LydiaJ

Afraid I can't offer a home to your table, Doozer; I already have two dining tables of my own, and one of those butterfly efforts that fold down quite small but can seat 6 (or 8 at a push) when unfolded. My neighbour is offering to look after my kids while I do a trip to the tip with all the back seats out of the car, if I will take some of his stuff with me as well. This is a good thing, but now I have to sort out a car load of stuff to go without the kids trying to rescue everything from the tip pile. This is difficult. It is much easier to take stuff to the tip if I have a day at home in term time when they are not there to see the stuff being loaded into the car, but I do need to get rid of quite a lot of stuff (3 unusably lumpy single mattresses, for starters) before my bro and his family come to stay in 3 weeks' time, or I will not be able to fit them in anywhere. :eek:

DS had his psych assessment today for the compensation claim. He kept telling me off for referring to late-nearly-ex as "Daddy" and saying that only DD calls him that, whereas he calls him "Dad". He's never objected to my saying "Daddy" before - presumably he didn't want the psychologist to think he was babyish. It's very strange to think that while late-nearly-ex himself will never get any older than 39, DS's relationship with his memory is growing up in some of the ways in which their actual relationship would have grown up if he were still alive.

Doozergirl

Your furniture breeds as well then! Where do the matttresses come from?!

How old is your DS?