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Nice people thread part 4 - sugar and spice and all things
Comments
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Sounds awful. Is there a chance that he throws a wobbly when your around in the knowledge that you will restrain him?
Nope, he will do it whenever and where ever the mood takes him, it doesn't matter who is there - if the mood takes him, then he will just go into a rage.
What didn't help tonight was that because everyone was so worried about dad, they were trying to 'contain' middle son in a small area which only makes things worse..it is much better if they just leave it to me as I know when to intervene and when not to, intervene too soon and you can get hurt, sometimes you just have to let him work some of the rage off before you can start to get through but at the same time, keeping yourself, him and everyone else safe.
When in a rage, he doesn't like to be surrounded, to have everyone around him and the more stressed he gets about people closing in on him, the more violent he gets so the correct approach is to allow him some space and then for one person to gradually get closer to him and try to calm him down. Shouting and being forceful only makes the situation worse.
The restraining I had to do tonight was because someone was at risk of being injured and I had to step into the attack zone to prevent it. It was not restraining as we used to do when he was little, he is far too big and strong for that (he outgrew being able to be physically restrained at about age 8), but more of a restraining of free movement in an area but without crowding him too much, so there is a lot of trying to push me out of the way to get to his target (the boys find it funny, I need a crutch to walk but I can stand my ground pretty well, helps being hyper mobile in my ankles, means I can be pushed to a further angle before losing balance)We made it! All three boys have graduated, it's been hard work but it shows there is a possibility of a chance of normal (ish) life after a diagnosis (or two) of ASD. It's not been the easiest route but I am so glad I ignored everything and everyone and did my own therapies with them.
Eldests' EDS diagnosis 4.5.10, mine 13.1.11 eekk - now having fun and games as a wheelchair user.0 -
I'm still puzzling over NDGs bed. If there is 5 foot of storage underneath, you must have very high ceilings. Do you need a bed guard?
Very high ceilings indeed. Almost 12 feet. The bed has an inbuilt rail....much enquiry having been made concerning a gentleman, who had quitted a company where Johnson was, and no information being obtained; at last Johnson observed, that 'he did not care to speak ill of any man behind his back, but he believed the gentleman was an attorney'.0 -
lostinrates wrote: »oh yes, I agree. I like lots of clothes, but find getting stuff thats pretty biut not infantile (shades of pink) nor too mumsy or too ''edgey''. Basically I want to dress like an aged fairy who has fear of glitter. wafting around the place in MACHINE WASHABLE thinge.
I'm sure you and FC would despair of my clothes sense - not remotely trendy, just things I like wearing.
I just bought this dress, for example, for the winter:
http://www.marksandspencer.com/Una-Rose-Frill-Knitted-Dress/dp/B0052PSXLG?_encoding=UTF8&mnSBrand=core
But the picture shows the long version, and I bought the shorter one - a couple of inches above the knee. The long one was too frumpy for even my taste (-:...much enquiry having been made concerning a gentleman, who had quitted a company where Johnson was, and no information being obtained; at last Johnson observed, that 'he did not care to speak ill of any man behind his back, but he believed the gentleman was an attorney'.0 -
Nope, he will do it whenever and where ever the mood takes him, it doesn't matter who is there - if the mood takes him, then he will just go into a rage.
When in a rage, he doesn't like to be surrounded, to have everyone around him and the more stressed he gets about people closing in on him, the more violent he gets so the correct approach is to allow him some space and then for one person to gradually get closer to him and try to calm him down. Shouting and being forceful only makes the situation worse.
Sue, does he do that if people he doesn't know are around as well?...much enquiry having been made concerning a gentleman, who had quitted a company where Johnson was, and no information being obtained; at last Johnson observed, that 'he did not care to speak ill of any man behind his back, but he believed the gentleman was an attorney'.0 -
Poor you Single Sue.
Nothing constructive to add unfortunately.
It's a glorious day today. The sun is shining and the prettier part of Sydney society is out and about. Il Divo were doing a thing.0 -
neverdespairgirl wrote: »Sue, does he do that if people he doesn't know are around as well?
Yes...when he goes into a rage, he can't control it until the major part of it has passed. Part of it is due to his Aspergers and part of it is down to the brain damage he suffered during delivery.We made it! All three boys have graduated, it's been hard work but it shows there is a possibility of a chance of normal (ish) life after a diagnosis (or two) of ASD. It's not been the easiest route but I am so glad I ignored everything and everyone and did my own therapies with them.
Eldests' EDS diagnosis 4.5.10, mine 13.1.11 eekk - now having fun and games as a wheelchair user.0 -
Oh Sue. Take care of yourself as much as you can. Hope you start feeling less stiff and sore soon.Do you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.
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PasturesNew wrote: »Yes. Difficult/almost impossible. Today has been the first day I've not gone there, but the old phoned as I was going to go for an appointment that was cancelled.
Got a panicky sibling emailing multiple times per day in a panicky mode who just won't leave me alone ... so I am getting no peace. No peace = not able to sort out my stuff, sort out my life, save my income, think straight, do my overdue homework, sort out my tax return, 100 other things I've been putting off.....
I think you need a plan....how about saying to panicky sibling that you need four days straight to make a start on addressing your financial situation which has gone to pot and could sibling be in charge of parent and decision making for four straight days/five days/long weekend....what ever sibling and you can agree on. Explain that your income has bottomed and unless you do this now it will cause more inconveniance for everyone later.0 -
neverdespairgirl wrote: »I'm sure you and FC would despair of my clothes sense - not remotely trendy, just things I like wearing.
:
this year I've forgotten what style is, schlepping about in things....this morning as I type I am wearing asda fleecey pyjamas. I put them on when I got up because they are warm. I'm thinking of buying a whole load of black dylon for stuff thats stained or faded, not because I love the clothes but because the idea of going shopping sends shudders up my spine atm.0 -
Poor you Single Sue.
Nothing constructive to add unfortunately.
It's a glorious day today. The sun is shining and the prettier part of Sydney society is out and about. Il Divo were doing a thing.
OH lands in Sydney today:) or it may be tomorrow in your time. He left here last night.I'm a Forum Ambassador on the housing, mortgages & student money saving boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Forum Ambassadors are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.0
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