Nice people thread part 4 - sugar and spice and all things

silvercar

PasturesNew wrote: »

CGT wouldn't be an issue. If I bought something for them, then sold it it'd most likely be in a loss situation.

I wish there were somewhere you could rent/perchance to buy .... then I'd convince the olds to rent until they decide they like it ... during which time their needs would change and I could convince them to keep renting. Problem solved. Never seen anywhere like that here though.

If you are looking to buy somewhere and sell at a loss, logic dictates you should rent.

There are places that have rentals and sales, so you could rent and they buy on the same development later.

PasturesNew

silvercar wrote: »

If you are looking to buy somewhere and sell at a loss, logic dictates you should rent.

There are places that have rentals and sales, so you could rent and they buy on the same development later.

I am struggling to find a good website at present showing what's available/where.

Nowhere seems to give you rental prices either.... so not got any kind of a picture what's available/at what cost.

Had a chat with 'the well' old and they're up for renting.... and want the ill old to be carted off to hospital... had their use out of them, providing all these years, now wants shot

The ill old is becoming more forgetful, very irrational and anxious.

I am having to handle all these raw emotions.

LydiaJ

PasturesNew wrote: »

I am struggling to find a good website at present showing what's available/where.

Nowhere seems to give you rental prices either.... so not got any kind of a picture what's available/at what cost.

Had a chat with 'the well' old and they're up for renting.... and want the ill old to be carted off to hospital... had their use out of them, providing all these years, now wants shot

The ill old is becoming more forgetful, very irrational and anxious.

I am having to handle all these raw emotions.

Sounds awful. It would be more than most people could handle - I can only try to imagine how much more difficult it must feel for you because of your speshulness. I think you're amazing to cope so well.

Any plans for the future rather depend on how long the ill old is likely to survive. I know you have been told this is an end of life situation, but have you been given any idea of timescale?

I know you are in the middle of nowhere, but if you let some of us know which exact bit of nowhere you are in the middle of, perhaps some of us could try doing some web searching for you. You've done it for lots of us in the past often enough.

PasturesNew

LydiaJ wrote: »

I know you are in the middle of nowhere, but if you let some of us know which exact bit of nowhere you are in the middle of, perhaps some of us could try doing some web searching for you. You've done it for lots of us in the past often enough.

The region formerly known as Restormel.

No timescale.... I've been told nobody gives you a timescale.... which isn't helpful is it. There's stuff to plan. People would wish to do a last visit probably .... but they'd all want to know a timescale so it'd fit their other plans/stuff. Looks all right today though ... probably not going this week, or this month ..... but who knows.

lostinrates

what a beautiful evening.

My back seized up and I can't find my muscle relaxants so DH just gave me about half a bottle of cava and I'm smiley and my back is relaxing. That I can't see straight is neither here not there......

misskool

Had enough of going away for the weekends. The garden is absolutely trashed, the plants are dying and I want a garden designer

Need to get ready for work and feeling stressed already.

lostinrates

misskool wrote: »

Had enough of going away for the weekends. The garden is absolutely trashed, the plants are dying and I want a garden designer

Need to get ready for work and feeling stressed already.

gardens are amazingly resiliant. what suffered the most? Will you have any evenings/early mornings in the week ahead to regain lost ground?

PasturesNew

I've now got a garden to look after
I don't like gardening.... and, just when you think it's done .... you've still got to lug all that !!!!!! to the tip

fc123

LydiaJ wrote: »

Cloudless and delightful here, but certainly nowhere near hot enough to tempt me into the water. DD stayed in for ages and ages though, and DS swam for a bit, played human table football for a bit, and went back in the water before finishing with some ping pong. This is much better "joining in with other children" than he usually does - perhaps we are making a little progress with the bereavement journey at last.

The above is such a lovely post to read....can't imagine what it must have been like for them. It must be so hard for them too as other kids have no idea how they feel.

PasturesNew wrote: »

Today I am looking at supported living options, to try to get into the knowledge of what there is, where, terms/conditions, costs. But beyond that there's rent or buy. Tricky one that. The olds are definitely of the "buy" mentality, but I am more of the "how long have you got? how hard will that be to sell on?" mentality .... but it's not my money, not my choice.... although I guess I'll be buying it up front anyway so they could move straight away, rather than the hell of living in a house on the market.

PasturesNew wrote: »

I am struggling to find a good website at present showing what's available/where.

Nowhere seems to give you rental prices either.... so not got any kind of a picture what's available/at what cost.

Had a chat with 'the well' old and they're up for renting.... and want the ill old to be carted off to hospital... had their use out of them, providing all these years, now wants shot

The ill old is becoming more forgetful, very irrational and anxious.

I am having to handle all these raw emotions.

I wish I could be down near you just for an hour....just to take you out for a coffee or come in and help out indoors for a while.

The rented assisted housing option would probably be the easiest to sort out plus it's flexible. It would be a PITA having to buy somewhere (and I am guessing paid for out of of your funds whilst theirs sells) and, after 3 months of faffing, move them in...and then they don't like it or can't cope afterall....then you have to try and sell the dam thing again.

I hate white fibs, but, if they are adamant about 'buying' maybe you could just sort out the rental and tell a white one that you have bought it from your own funds?

I do recall a lot of raw emotion from my Mothers grandparents when things got bad and she and her sister found much of it very difficult to handle......for example resentments surfaced from 5 decades ago and were suddenly voiced. Very tricky it all was.

The only other option I know of is MIL has very old step parents who have 'care workers' come in everyday.....but they do have to pay and I think it's pretty costly....but they are great. They supplement her own husbands 'popping in'.
Could that be a temporary solution?

fc123

lostinrates wrote: »

gardens are amazingly resiliant. what suffered the most? Will you have any evenings/early mornings in the week ahead to regain lost ground?

Don't stress MissK...LIR is right...it will survive but just some things survive better than others.

I spent hours of my life on our garden....lived away for 5 years to come back to an overgrown mess and all my 'rare' English plants had been suffocated by 'not rare' English plants like Weed, Nettle, Chickweed and enough brambles to make Rapunzel weep.

The saddest loss was the Canterbury Bells bushes which were huge and I had bought them from Leeds Castle as teeny tiny plants when the kids were small. I haven't had the time to go back down there to see if they still sell them.
Second saddest were the 2 huge Hydrangea bushes......moved back and nothing not even a dead stump. I used to water them in the summer so guess they just died of heat one summer.

I kind of decided after that that I would only have plants that could survive min 3 months with no care.:)

My salad patch is also sad as we ate it all...and the re-growth is just tall and twiggy with flowers.