Nice people thread part 4 - sugar and spice and all things

LydiaJ

They are soooo lucky to have such a fantastic daughter to do all this for them PN. You're doing amazingly.

Generali

PasturesNew wrote: »

Today I am looking at supported living options, to try to get into the knowledge of what there is, where, terms/conditions, costs. But beyond that there's rent or buy. Tricky one that. The olds are definitely of the "buy" mentality, but I am more of the "how long have you got? how hard will that be to sell on?" mentality .... but it's not my money, not my choice.... although I guess I'll be buying it up front anyway so they could move straight away, rather than the hell of living in a house on the market.

If you put your money in then things could get very complicated in terms of tax and who owes what to whom.

As a minimum get some proper (ie not just on a forum) advice. If you buy them into a place, effectively using their property as security then you are taking a risk that you/they can't sell for as much as was assumed. They may end up in negative equity to you. That loss will fall to you.

It may work out better for the olds to take out a loan secured on the old place to buy the new one. It's something to investigate, I'm no expert but hopefully it can be worked so that any negative equity is the bank's problem not yours.

I have an idea what you are going through having seen my Mum look after my Dad and I really feel for you. Hopefully I can also offer some advice that will improve your life and that of your parents.

lostinrates

LydiaJ wrote: »

They are soooo lucky to have such a fantastic daughter to do all this for them PN. You're doing amazingly.

seconded.

re rent or buy.....I don't know, be interesting to here a wide range of experience. My granny went from own home into own supported flat, then two care homes. The own (well, leasehold) flat took AGES, like 18 months/two years to sell on, in a boom market. On the plus side, it might mean there is a good bargain to be had in buying and the emotional security that might give them. BUT I think it was the worst decision we ever took for granny. Her dementia progressed RAPIDLY during that time and she couldn't stay there long and had to go into more hands on care situation. If you think your remaining old needs more help than the owned flat in a complex would give or will soon, personally I'd be inclined to miss the first step out, because it made my granny scared and vulnerable.

The first care home was not great, the second she liked better. renting gave us the flexibility to arrange a move for her when she was unhappy.

lostinrates

so bored of windows.

sigh...back to it.

LydiaJ

The supported living complex that my parents like the look of is very flexible. You can buy or rent the flats, or you can rent one until your own house sells and then buy it when you've got the cash. See if there's anything like that anywhere near you.

silvercar

PasturesNew wrote: »

Today I am looking at supported living options, to try to get into the knowledge of what there is, where, terms/conditions, costs. But beyond that there's rent or buy. Tricky one that. The olds are definitely of the "buy" mentality, but I am more of the "how long have you got? how hard will that be to sell on?" mentality .... but it's not my money, not my choice.... although I guess I'll be buying it up front anyway so they could move straight away, rather than the hell of living in a house on the market.

Supported living or support in your own home is a difficult one.

Be very careful about assessing how much support is given. If they move in and then the care isn't sufficient, you could run into problems. The one big advantage of supported living is that the healthier one has people around constantly.

Also look at the tax situation - if you buy somewhere for them to live, on sale you could face a wapping CGT bill.

vivatifosi

Without wishing to throw a spanner in the works, pastures is it worth considering two scenarios? One where you need short term - possibly hospice style care for one of them - the second where only one is living and needs general support with a degenerative condition? Obviously its your own circumstances and we don't have the full details, but I would be wary of buying based on the male "old"'s circumstances if that would then change your needs based on the second. Does that make sense?

Doozergirl

DIY house moving is not funny at all. Not one bit. If I've ever told anyone there isn't much stuff in my loft, I apologise. I was lying.

Swear words.

PasturesNew

I'd guesstimate the olds' house is worth 20% less than they think - and would be looking to spend £20-40k less than that on their next place. My opinion is: needs will change rapidly over the next 3 years, so it'd be better to rent/be flexible and be able to move one into care once alone.... so my issue isn't about the value of either property and losses as I think there'd be a margin in there.... and, age wise, if I pick one carefully I can move into the OAP gaff until it's sold

CGT wouldn't be an issue. If I bought something for them, then sold it it'd most likely be in a loss situation.

I wish there were somewhere you could rent/perchance to buy .... then I'd convince the olds to rent until they decide they like it ... during which time their needs would change and I could convince them to keep renting. Problem solved. Never seen anywhere like that here though.

vivatifosi

Way to go Cadel Evans and Mark Cavendish! Who said only the continentals and the odd American could ride bikes?