Nice people thread part 4 - sugar and spice and all things

Imelda

SingleSue wrote: »

From his father, in his eyes, I am to blame for everything that is against him......he just doesn't see that saying to the boys that he has not enough holiday, or that his company does not allow holidays and then plastering all over Facebook about a holiday he is going on, makes the boys rather upset...especially as two of them know about current EU rules regarding paid holidays.

Or the fact that he has always said that he will be the first to buy eldest his first legal pint and now other things are more important to him.

Or the fact that he never gets in contact with them, they always have to contact him first and if they are lucky, they might just get a call back.

Or the fact that he only ever comes down here if something else is going on that weekend, like a party for a friend and never to just come and see them, they are merely slotted into his schedule (and usually at the bottom of a very long list).

Or the fact that they have not seen him since last December and then that was only for just over an hour as he was off to see someone else (he was down for 5 days).

Nope, it is my fault the boys have turned against him...in his own eyes, he is super dad.

I'm really sad to hear that Sue. My Dad was/is the same as that. We only used to see him when convenient to him. He used to work abroad, Switzerland mainly, and it was upsetting to hear he had returned to the UK but not got in touch. It appeared to get better over the past few years (although my sister and I do have to do all the running) and I actually thought things were improving. But...

Last Sunday my sister was coming down (she lives a couple of hours away) with my 7 month old neice. So, I contact my dad, who lives 10 mins from me, to invite him over as he hasn't seen his baby grandaughter since June and his reponse?? "Sorry darling, there are lots of important football matches on TV on Sunday." !!!!!!?? Football? I replied that we have a TV and sky sports, he can watch them here- he never got back to me and I haven't heard from him since.

However, there is a family party in a couple of weeks and he will want me to drive him there so I expect I will receive a call nearer the time.

I am more angry that his beautiful grandaughter is being treated in the same way as we were. He is the most selfish man but, he is still my dad and I keep thinking he will change.

He won't. Some men just don't deserve to be dads.

tomterm8

Davesnave wrote: »

The 'Hobbit House' is the same one dopester used to use as his avatar.

Personally, I think it's a bit fanciful. I have a badly built 'shed' at the bottom of my garden, which looked like a prospect for migrating to while we did this place up. Then I saw what happened in there during winter and I got real. I wouldn't even store the furniture in there! :eek:

I didn't know about the avatar... some time ago, someone started using animated avatar's, so I turned them off on MSE. Can't stand the blinking.

I don't think of that place as a habitable home, but a decent shed... I think it could manage that

Davesnave

PasturesNew wrote: »

With your land, I'd have bought a big, cheap touring caravan and parked it in the garden, rather than living in the shed.

Yes, but this shed is 60' long and has sanitation & electric.:D

Doesn't stop water percolating upwards under certain conditions though!

We are now thinking caravan + 'garage' (all the garages round here are built to housng standard;))

silvercar

SingleSue wrote: »

Oh god....middle son has just let loose on his father's facebook profile, pretty much saying what a hopeless father he is and asking why doesn't he use some of his holiday seeing his kids instead of going away and having fun.

It will be me who gets it in the neck.....

Oh well, there ends the facebook relationship. Father will remove post and change settings to remove visibility.

Just maybe he will have to make contact in the real world.

lemonjelly

lostinrates wrote: »

I love to plan. .

So do I, in an almost obsessive kinda way. But nothing ever goes according to plan, & I wing most stuff anyway. I tentatively come up with all sorts of ideas. I gave up on proper planning & now just list what I should do, & try to remember to get around to it. Although frequently, I plan, then in doing whatever it is, find out that planning was a waste of time as the plans aren't practical!:D

lostinrates wrote: »

Emotions are hard, but sort of get round able because we trust and love each other. The practical things are more frustrating. Its times like today I feel a: very lucky dh has a job at all and b: totally of the opinion he (we) earn that income in the impact of the job on normal life.

The most important bit is the start of the above. That said, (& I am sure you do this) always make sure that you make time for each other. Life is too short to be out of contact with the one you love.:A

lemonjelly

Davesnave wrote: »

LJ, tbh I'm getting a bit fed up with my toms now. We had 'soup' again today, and although it wasn't specifically tomato, that's all I could taste!

Oh .

I'm looking forward to more reddening, so I can make soup, pasta bake and anything else. Made delish wraps last night.

I lost all mine last year, so I want to make up for it. Still got loads of green ones!:eek:

lemonjelly

PasturesNew wrote: »

Tomorrow my old moves out .... and I begin the clearance/sorting out... EPC, EAs .... and the big long wait.

PasturesNew wrote: »

It's horrid... and I'll be alone. Surrounded by silence of the house, the lost old's belongings .... and thoughts/memories. I expect I'll just break down and cry for the first day, finally get that out of the way - not been able to cry/grieve yet as I had to be strong and chirpy 24/7 for the remaining old.

All the best PN.

I remember when my grandad passed. I couldn't (wouldn't?) cry publicly. I was in a daze for a day & a half. I then got home & was alone, so decided to look at some photo's of him when I was younger. Floodgates opened.

Still miss him.

lemonjelly

lostinrates wrote: »

Maybe some of the husbands are worth trying?


Oh, what am I going to do with out dh I had a phone conversation with my mother today who told me she thinks I should ''Get a lodger dear, a MALE lodger.''. Its not really a surprise my parents are separating I suppose...she gives terrible advice.

(I have decided to interpret the advice as being for non oestrogen charged company, looking ''fierce'' for intruders and being better than me at lifting things.)

:eek:

Well done on how you decided to take it. That is one kind of advice it is rare I'd expect a mother to give their daughter...:eek:

lemonjelly

PasturesNew wrote: »

ALL men need a man shed. It's essential.

I quite like the hobbit house, but wouldn't want one... it's a bit creepy/scarey. Nice idea, but I don't like the gnarled trees holding it up, nor the fear of the roof caving in.

We got a plastic shed from B&Q to replace the old one, which we had painted a jigsaw pattern on in multi colours years ago. That's laziness for you. Shall we re-felt the roof? Nah, just buy a new one instead!:o Still, maintenance should be straightforward...:)

lemonjelly

michaels wrote: »

I'm envious, I would love an empty house and the opportunity to have free reign on 'rationalising' - instead I just have to dream of having a shed...

I think my builder has started another job and we still don't have any heating

Sympathies - as it is starting to get colder in the evening. As you're aware, I've had to deal with cold issues recently (;)). Not pleasant, especially for the little 'uns.