Benbenandme's Next Installment ...

benbenandme

I think the bottom line is that he is missing ds big time, and has lots of time to think about what *he* wants, and once again doesn't stop for a minute to think about ds or what effect any of this may have on him :mad: Luckily though its my decision to make not his

groatie_queen

I think there is a more than strong possibility that his parents would cave in to your ex's demands to see your son behind your back. It doesn't seem that your ex's mother is prepared to admit that what he did was serious and wasn't "one of those things" and she may put your son in the position of promising not to tell you.... just a gut feeling I have from what you have mentioned on this thread. She doesn't seem to have much common sense or consideration of conequences for others. Might explain where your ex got his inability to consider consequences too.

I think you're spot on with your intention to emphasise how she doesn't want to visit the prison and how damaging it could be for your son. Seems like you'll need to spell it out in capital letters and emphasise the consequences!

dangers

I've just read back a few pages but can't find mention of what I'm about to ask; does ds ask about his father at all, has he asked whether he can visit him?

benbenandme

No he doesn't Dangers, he knows where he is and why, he has asked twice whether he'll still be able to see his dogs but hasn't asked about seeing his dad He knows that his dads girlfriend has visited him so is aware that he can have visitors but hsan't asked whether he can go at all. He doesn't mention him hardly at all, and genuinely doesn't seem bothered about not seeing him. I did vaguely broach the subject last week and he said he misses him a bit but as long as he can talk to him on the phone then thats fine. I feel more relaxed again having come to a decision, I know he and his family won't like it, but thats because they are thinking about what they want and not whats best for ds :cool:

benbenandme

GQ, his mother can sometimes be reasonable but this time I worry that she will go along with what he wants ... it will be a huge mistake if she does :mad:

benbenandme

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beanielou

I think it might be best that DS doesent stay with them so the temptation isent there for them to take DS to visit.
Just my thought.

dangers

I think that says it all really... Tough luck for the ex!

I echo what Beanie has just said.

benbenandme

I haven't made any arrangements for ds to stay with them at the moment, but even if they come down and take him out for the day they could, if determined, drive him there, have an hours visit and drive him back all in an afternoon (4 hours in total). They will get one chance ... ds won't be able to hide from me if he's seen him ... if they ignore my wishes then they lose the privilege of having contact with ds.

Smart_Mart

I'd be very, very careful about allowing them to have BB to stay; I may be being over cynical but I just have the feeling they might try to sneak him into see his dad in prison.

Thing is (fearing the worst, I know) but I can see them swearing BB to silence under threat that if he tells you the truth (if they do take him into prison) , you'll stop him seeing his dad and they'd use that as a bargaining chip.

Truth is though, you have to go on gut feeling and you have more knowledge about your inlaws than anyone else on here!