Benbenandme's Next Installment ...

Keeping_Motivated

Would it help for you to visit the crim on your own first so you can get an idea of the set up, ie the body searches, the uniforms etc and then make an informed choice and if you decide to let DS visit then at least you can prepare him every step of the way ie they do this next, they search because etc etc?

beanielou

Sorry, cross posted.
It's a difficult one.

Pooky

I think sometimes you have to remember that as a responsible adult you are allowed to make a decision that may be wrong in later life, as long as it's right and valid now. I had to make some tough decisions and once I'd actually got my head around the fact that the situation was new to me and I was doing what I thought was best at the time, it became easier to put aside the "what if in years to come" scenarios. If my Dd's ever come back to me and ask "why" about any situation I can hand on heart say that I was the one that had to make that decision and I did it for the best of reasons for that moment in time. It's all you can do as a parent.

dangers

KM, that sounds like a good idea. Shame Benben would have to meet the ex at that visit!!!

tigzem

Hun I have no real advice but you know where I work and it's quite upsetting when young children come in to visit, but it may be different there. DS is old enough to remember this time and you don't want him being upset years down the line that he didn't see him.
Trust your instincts xx
PS aren't you meant to have a day off in-between couch 2 5k days? X

benbenandme

Lp ... really sorry, I had to delete your comment on fb as you called me benben and no one in rl knows about here Sorry!! But thankyou for answering the poll too

Thankyou everyone for your comments, I just wish he and his family would leave us alone, I know that will never happen, but you'd think with him being away for a year that I may get some peace from them :cool: He seemed to be under the impression from his mother that it had been agreed that ds would stay with them one weekend a month :eek: Err no!!! She literally hasn't spoken to me at all since this all came up, all contact has been with his dad on the phone, and even when they came here to collect ds she literally didn't speak to me :mad:

I need to sleep on it and think it through a lot ... I'll go and speak to his teachers too. Have discovered that I could claim back the travel costs so at least thats something, as its an hour and a half each way from here.

benbenandme

and Tigz, yep, you're meant to have a day off in between, but ds is keen and the first week doesn't really feel like you're doing anything lol, maybe I'm too used to shred, where Gillian makes you feel like you're dying

benbenandme

LP, just seen your status on fb, I am sooo excited for you, you need to get your diary started missus, even if its so that he can read back how excited you are when he's older :T :T

benbenandme

First the good news ... £4 profit from a free bet :T and ds had another great day at school and came out with a sticker and a photocopy of 2 pages of writing (A4) that he'd done This is about the same amount as he managed all year last year :cool:

Then the not so good news ... mum and dad had an appointment at the hospital today and they basically told them that theres nothing more they can do to help dad and they think the time has come for him to go into a home permanently This was actually a relief for mum, especially to hear someone else kind of making the decision for her, but dad seems confused and now thinks he's being sent off to a gas chamber :eek: We went round after school and I had a good chat with him, which was one of those chats you never want to have with anyone but he does seem a bit clearer for now, whether he remembers whats what in an hour or so is another matter though

I have done lots more thinking today about muppets situation and am heading more towards saying no, its not an environment I want my child to be in. He'll be out by next summer so will just have to wait til then to see ds. But for now, that isnt my priority anyway.

beanielou

So sorry to hear the news about your dad.
BUt as you say a relief of sorts for your mum.
Take care x