Benbenandme's Next Installment ...

benbenandme

He gets legal aid while he's inside and will still get it outside too s he will be on benefits. Ds said he's going to be self-employed so as long as his income is low, has no savings (no danger of that :cool:) and less than £100k equity (again, no problem there) he'll still qualify for legal aid

benbenandme

I get 14 days to reply Dangers - need to arrange a solicitors appointment tomorrow when they're open, then sort out childcare for ds while I attend it ....

dangers

Ok, I was trying to be hopeful that he'd come off it quite quickly...

benbenandme

Someone must be looking down on me, cutie has just sent me a text saying he'll try and call me later (I text him yesterday asking if he thought i should get a solicitor or could reply myself - he used to work in a legal office of some sort)

benbenandme

Now if Spain could just score one more goal I'd know my luck has changed finally

benbenandme

Still made £30 from that game, thats the solicitor fund started off

beanielou

As if having equity is any help!!!!

Auntyem

Hi Benben, de-lurking as so appalled at this latest trick from your hideous ex :mad:

I just wanted to query about the letter as it sounds quite intimidating and I question the legal substance. I am not a legal person at all but I know what these letters can be like having supported my OH through his divorce and CSA tribunal. It may well be all solicitor bravado, eg who says you only have 14 days to reply? If its an official court type document I do apologise but I just thought it might be designed to scare you into agreeing and would be a shame if it succeeds. It sounds a lot like bullying

It sounds like you are being more than reasonable in your proposal, but are you happy with DS seeing him every weekend?

benbenandme

I know Beanie, makes me wonder why I've bothered trying to clear my mortgage, its not like I can access any of that money :cool:

AuntyEm - I dont mind him going every other weekend as thats the arrangement that we've always had, and tbh ds does idolise him (hopefully he'll see the light as he gets older :cool:). It isnt a legally binding document, even the mediators told him that if he gets the solicitor to write everything up and we both sign it it still actually means nothing and isnt legally binding, hence I cant see any reason for all this other than to get at me financially and to ty to control me still :mad:

Auntyem

Ok. So the only reason this would go to court is if he was requesting a formal contact order? As I understand it if you could agree on terms then a judge would just rubber stamp it, and if you could not agree, after a LOT of to-and-fro via solicitors, it may eventually go to court for a judge to decide based on the best interests of DS the details of the contact order.

What I'm saying basically is don't let him win and have this stress you out (easier said than done I know) because this is all fluff and no substance and any kind of formal action would be a long way off.

I would say you should respond yourself but frill the language up a bit. Infact I would be turning the tables on him, to say actually, crim, here is what I consider to be in the best interests of DS and infact I would like it formalised into a legal contact order so that you can't d!!k me around every few months when you have nothing better to do. Then lay out your proposed contact schedule and details. Don't bother about trying to be reasonable, let's have him with the letter-induced-upset for a change! You could even counter each of his points like you have in your post above.

Sorry for sounding antagonistic, I'm all for the parents tyring to be civil etc but with his history you are waaay past that and I can't help thinking he needs a taste of his own medicine