Am I going soft ? Or is he having me on ???

19lottie82

bit of a daft question here, but why would you scrap a 51 plate megane, if it is road worthy? Surely you'd be able to get at least 1k for it in a private sale?

At the end of the day, your childrens safety is your number 1 priority so imo this should be placed before your husbands pride over giving your ex the car.

AmandaD28

aliasojo wrote: »

I do get the part about 'nothing to do with you'. (And agree actually.)

I don't get the 'controlling' bit though. I don't get that interpretation from the thread at all I'm afraid.

I do think maybe the OP knows too much about the ex's situation and perhaps still feels an involvement in some way? Not the same as controlling imo.

I also get the part about nothin to do with me it isn't really but now I know I don't feel able to turn a blind eye.

I also agree I know too much he knows nothing of my situation in any regard I don't share it it is of no concern to him I really don't know why he insists of sharing so much of his with me. I frequently stop him mid conversation and say this is none of my business and what would you like me to do about it.

He still continues though and this is where I wonder if he is indeed trying to pull a fast one why else would he offer up this information without even being questioned he has also said that he has spent a fortune doing up the new house he just bought which begs the question why did he not redirect some of that money into fixing his car ? I don't know the answer though I didn't ask the question I don't want to know what he tells me it doesn't stop him saying it though.

I also worry that should we gift him the car that would be the end of it and we may not see him again its a real toughie I can't make any demands on what he does with his car or really whether he takes the kids in it when he has them which is what worries me.

mummyroysof3

i hope you manage to get this issue sorted somehow as i wouldnt want to let my children go in an unsafe car...but on the otherhand he is their dad and wants to see them and they want to see him, how old are your children?

January20

Just my opinion, but like another poster said, last time it was the beds he wanted you to buy for HIS house, this time he is hinted at the cost of the repairs on his cars obviously knowing you will care about your children's safety and come up with a solution, what will it be next time? Furniture for his new house he's just bought? Inability to afford food when your children are at his? Don't give him the car. It's not like he sees the children regularly is it, since you thought he had disappeared completely?

Dave101t

id refuse him visitation right and when he tries to take you to court...oh he wont because of the danger he poses to the kids.

Aimless

January20 wrote: »

Just my opinion, but like another poster said, last time it was the beds he wanted you to buy for HIS house, this time he is hinted at the cost of the repairs on his cars obviously knowing you will care about your children's safety and come up with a solution, what will it be next time? Furniture for his new house he's just bought? Inability to afford food when your children are at his? Don't give him the car. It's not like he sees the children regularly is it, since you thought he had disappeared completely?

Just what I was going to say, he tells you these things hoping you'll either let him off the maintenance or give him some money. If you reward this behaviour with something way beyond his hopes, when will he ever stop? Next time it'll be the wiring in the children's room is unsafe, or there's no hot water etc. Once he knows what angle works on you, he'll take you for an idiot over and over.

P.s. the car, unless broken, in which case you wouldn't be giving it away, does have some value. I sold an R reg car last year for over £400. Ok I put a costly MOT on it, but presumably yours has one already and is in reasonable condition?

*Louise*

1echidna wrote: »

And I'm asking her to get a judge to tell her that when her children are with him it is his responsibility not hers. She will be worrying about the standard of his washing up next.

You what?

Big BIG difference!!

You don't stop worrying about the safety of your children just because they are with the other parent, especially if they are being driven around in an unsafe vehicle!

If he was any sort of parent he would have the same concerns.

vroombroom

first a free car, then he'll be asking for money for petrol...OP dont let your ex take the !!!!. Give the car to your sister or on ebay. He's a grown man, let him sort it out. Let him get the bus x

dibuzz

I am another one who just can't understand why you would scrap a 51 reg car :huh:
As for your ex I think he wanted you to offer to pay for repairs and would just drop the kids off and pick them up again.

fannyanna

Whilst you don't have to and most definately shouldn't have to do these things for your ex there is part of me that thinks give him the car.

This is on the basis that you would have just got rid of the car and are therefore not losing out. In addition it will provide you some comfort that your kids will be safe.

Just a final word - I would not be surprised if your current partner gets angry at the idea though.