Am I going soft ? Or is he having me on ???

1echidna

shellsuit wrote: »

The guy wants to put his children and other motorists at risk.

Should that be ignored just because he wants to see his children???

In a word - Yes

pinksleepybear

1echidna wrote: »

In a word - Yes

Why? (try to answer in more than one word)

shellsuit

1echidna wrote: »

In a word - Yes

There you go OP. Just let him drive around in his car that isn;'t road worthy and has dodgy brakes.

It doesn't matter if they have an accident/crash and get injured or injure someone else (or even die/kill!), as 1echidna thinks it will be fine, so long as the poor guy gets to see his kids.:cool:

Fleago

I'm going to go against the consensus too and agree with choccyface. Going by what you've said in this thread, I would give him the car, primarily so that you can be reassured that your children are transported safely while with him. After all, even if you drop them off, you can't be sure he's not going to be putting them in his own car whilst he has them.

It's a bit of a dilemma for you in that your sister might appreciate the car, but to be honest, if it were me, the safety of the children would take priority, nice as it would be to give it to a sibling.

1echidna

pinksleepybear wrote: »

Why? (try to answer in more than one word)

Read the thread

pinksleepybear

1echidna wrote: »

Read the thread

I'm genuinely trying to understand how you've read the same information as me, but come to such a different viewpoint of it.

Is there any logic at all to your reasoning or are you just being deliberately provocative?

red_devil

AmandaD28 wrote: »

I know what you're saying Jojo and don't get me wrong I am far from being his greatest fan but what is to stop him after I have dropped them off taking them in his car anyway ? Not a great deal and it's not like I can confiscate the keys lol (if only eh?)

He could do all of those things you say and I am wary of being scammed by him (it isn't beyond his capabilities believe me) I just can't bear to think he puts them in it regardless he is also transporting his partner and her 4yr old child in this car :eek::eek:

I'm a terrible worrier and I also know a nice person who could probably do with this car my sister for example who has just passed her driving test I just dunno what to do

xx

give it to your sister you dont owe your ex anything. its his problem to get it sorted.

the_cat

I wouldn't give him the car.... at least not yet

You don't know if he is going to bother to keep up contact with the kids yet. A one off visit after an absence of several months with no contact should not be rewarded by a free car!

Make sure you drop them off etc so they don't need to use the dodgy one. Keep the old car for now and see how much enthusiasm he maintains for his contact over the period of a few weeks. THEN make your decision based on that

scooby088

If i was you OH i wouldn't even think of gifting the car to the ex, it is your ex's duty to have a road worthy car not yours! Just goes to show that your ex has no concern for the safety of his children, i know it really petty but i would give the police a call about his car, if he can't afford the repairs i am sure he'll be able to afford the fine.

Or on the other contact your ex and tell him he doesn't see the kids until he gets the car fixed.

aliasojo

1echidna wrote: »

I have a friend who is a family court judge. She deals constantly with this kind of shenanegans. Her advice is that he may not do things the way you would but its nothing to do with you.

1echidna wrote: »

The title to the thread gives it away - she just wants to be controlling

I do get the part about 'nothing to do with you'. (And agree actually.)

I don't get the 'controlling' bit though. I don't get that interpretation from the thread at all I'm afraid.

I do think maybe the OP knows too much about the ex's situation and perhaps still feels an involvement in some way? Not the same as controlling imo.