Am I going soft ? Or is he having me on ???

Sambucus_Nigra

1echidna wrote: »

Personally I wonder about the OPs motives in her concerns about safety and wonder if she deserves a win win.

Would you prefer a lose-lose?

These are children we are talking about, no?

Doesn't a parent who wants their kids to be safe deserve to make decisions based on that premise?

Very confused.

AmandaD28

1echidna wrote: »

Personally I wonder about the OPs motives in her concerns about safety and wonder if she deserves a win win.

Don't quite understand what you are getting at what other possible motive could I have here what do I possibly hope to gain other than the knowledge of my children's safety when they are with him other than that what do I have to gain by giving him a car ?

It's very cynical to think it is anything other than this

1echidna

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Would you prefer a lose-lose?

These are children we are talking about, no?

Doesn't a parent who wants their kids to be safe deserve to make decisions based on that premise?

Very confused.

The title to the thread gives it away - she just wants to be controlling

1echidna

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Would you prefer a lose-lose?

These are children we are talking about, no?

Doesn't a parent who wants their kids to be safe deserve to make decisions based on that premise?

Very confused.

Take him to court then. See how much time they give you.

Sambucus_Nigra

1echidna wrote: »

Originally Posted by Sambucus Nigra
Would you prefer a lose-lose?

These are children we are talking about, no?

Doesn't a parent who wants their kids to be safe deserve to make decisions based on that premise?

Very confused.

1echidna wrote: »

Take him to court then. See how much time they give you.

Erm; How could I take him to court?

Are you actually awake yet?

AmandaD28

The suggestion of insuring him to drive the car is a good one however doesn't solve the issue that we want rid of the car. I dunno quite how to get around it !

He wouldn't buy the car either I'd get the whole he has no money thing hence why I thought maybe gifting it to him would be better I also don't really want him to feel he owes us anything all I want is for the kids to be safe.

I haven't discussed properly with OH yet I don't think he will be too happy initially he thinks my ex is a loser but I am certain once I talk through the benefits of it i.e safety for our children he will do whatever. Thanks for all the advice am taking it all on board

Emmzi

I'd just keep dropping your kids off. No good will come of relationship with current hubby if yiou ask him to support ex. You drop off and collect; sounds like it will not be often anyway. Current car will probably break too much to drive soon anyway.

AmandaD28

1echidna wrote: »

The title to the thread gives it away - she just wants to be controlling

Ignoring this - I want safety of my children you're right what he does when he has the children is no concern of my their safety and wellbeing is always my business though.

There is no need to take him to court I have no idea why you would even say it I haven't mentioned it we have been divorced for quite a period of time.

I keep thinking if my children were hurt in his unroadworthy car I'd never be able to forgive myself if I could've done something to help and ensure they were safe, its a sad world we live in when the first cry over something like this is "take him to court" that would solve nothing he would still be driving an unsafe vehicle wouldn't he.

busiscoming2

Whilst I completely understand you not wanting your children in an unsafe vehicle, he does sound to me the type of person that just doesn't take responsibility and as soon as this issue is sorted out another will surface soon enough. If you drop and collect the children there is nothing to stop him taking them out in his car is there? Is it likely that if you gave him your old car he may just sell it and then you are back to square one?

Personally lots of people who claim to 'not be able to afford' to have things repaired etc are still quite happy to spend money on unecessary things rather than stomp up the cash for the 'boring' things!

Only you know what he is really like and how he will behave.

1echidna

By the way I once had a total steering failure in a Renault. I have a witness that it actually happened. Wouldn't catch me buying one again. Engineering for safety is more than engineering to get good marks on the safety tests.