Am I going soft ? Or is he having me on ???

*Louise*

Ah yes I remember the bunk beds incident. So indstead of you providing them somewhere to sleep during his time with them he is hinting that you use maintenance for him to drive them safely during his time - he is a chancer isn't he.

Well, if you're happy to take them and pick them up then don't give him the car. He will have to get his own one fixed at some point anyway in order to drive his other family around

*Robin*

How about having your ex- put on the insurance, and lending him the car when your children are with him?

In fact it would be a rather nice surprise; deliver the kids in the car (bet the children would love that!).

If he does anything stupid like speeding, a copy of the 'photo will prove he was driving at the time.

(Many years ago my ex, the boys' Dad did something similar - drove a death trap with a provisional licence - I gave him my old car when I upgraded, on condition he passed his driving test. It took him four goes, but he did it :cool: ).

thorsoak

1. Put him on the insurance of your car - for the weekend only.

2. Do not tell him this, but let him drive to your house in his car, then let him "borrow" the car for the weekend with the children (make sure he has to put petrol in it!) and bring it back on Sunday. Don't tell him that it's permanently available - just for this weekend. That way your children will be in a safe vehicle.

ecgirl07

Why dont you sell oh old car to ex for the nominal cost of the repairs to exs car? It sounds like exs car is going to be a moneypit of constant repairs that he wont keep up so yes it is ideal he upgrades his car. So instead of messing around with weekend insurance etc just sell the car to your ex and that way it is his. This would also mean that your oh is not "giving" ex the car but selling it, and your ex would only be spending the money he would have to spend fixing his car anyway, if he is short of cash maybe he can pay you over 12 month or similar?

If done smartly it could be a win win for everyone especially you!

1echidna

ecgirl07 wrote: »

Why dont you sell oh old car to ex for the nominal cost of the repairs to exs car? It sounds like exs car is going to be a moneypit of constant repairs that he wont keep up so yes it is ideal he upgrades his car. So instead of messing around with weekend insurance etc just sell the car to your ex and that way it is his. This would also mean that your oh is not "giving" ex the car but selling it, and your ex would only be spending the money he would have to spend fixing his car anyway, if he is short of cash maybe he can pay you over 12 month or similar?

If done smartly it could be a win win for everyone especially you!

Personally I wonder about the OPs motives in her concerns about safety and wonder if she deserves a win win.

jamespir

your easy going if you wish to give him a car you could giive him the house while your at it i understand you have conerns re his current ride but could you and your half loan him the money to fix it

aliasojo

1echidna wrote: »

Personally I wonder about the OPs motives in her concerns about safety and wonder if she deserves a win win.

*Confused*

Why are you wondering about motive? I can't think what other motive there would be?

OP, I wouldn't give him the car. He seems to have a bit of a 'bail out' mentality iyswim and I would be concerned at continuing down this route. How would your OH feel if you said you wanted to give his car to your ex? How would your sis feel at being passed over for an ex?

savingmummy

I wouldnt help him our by giving him the car!
I would also tell him that if he drives the children aorund in `his` car (guessing the children would tell you) then you will report him.

1echidna

aliasojo wrote: »

*Confused*

Why are you wondering about motive? I can't think what other motive there would be?

OP, I wouldn't give him the car. He seems to have a bit of a 'bail out' mentality iyswim and I would be concerned at continuing down this route. How would your OH feel if you said you wanted to give his car to your ex? How would your sis feel at being passed over for an ex?

I have a friend who is a family court judge. She deals constantly with this kind of shenanegans. Her advice is that he may not do things the way you would but its nothing to do with you.

jamespir

savingmummy wrote: »

I wouldnt help him our by giving him the car!
I would also tell him that if he drives the children aorund in `his` car (guessing the children would tell you) then you will report him.

thats just childish