Am I going soft ? Or is he having me on ???

jamespir

1echidna wrote: »

Take him to court then. See how much time they give you.

sorry but whats that got to do with the price of iguanas


the op is worried her clown of an ex wants to take his kids out in a car that is unsafe

she doesent want to put her children at risk so asked the question to see how she could minimise the risk and help him out at the same time

shellsuit

I wouldn't give him the car, no way!

Why should you have to bail him out, there is such a thing as public transport you know, which is fine for getting around with kids. Believe me, I've done it for 15 years!

If your OH was going to scrap it, why not sell it to the ex instead?

If he wants to be an idiot and play God with his kid's lives in an unroadworthy (is that even a word?!) car, then do you really want the kids to go to him?

Either drop kids off and pick them up and tell him he can't go in the car with the kids, or I wouldn't let them go at all.




James, you do talk crap sometimes !!!!!!

thats just childish

It's childish to report a man, for driving in a car with his kids, when the car is not roadworthy and not MOT'd, which means it won't be insured properly either? How is that childish??? It's PATHETIC for him to suggest it, but not childish at all to report him if he did take them out in it. I wouldn't hesitate to report if they were my kids.

1echidna

jamespir wrote: »

sorry but whats that got to do with the price of iguanas


the op is worried her clown of an ex wants to take his kids out in a car that is unsafe

she doesent want to put her children at risk so asked the question to see how she could minimise the risk and help him out at the same time

And I'm asking her to get a judge to tell her that when her children are with him it is his responsibility not hers. She will be worrying about the standard of his washing up next.

CH27

Having read your other thread there is no way I would give the car to your ex.
Thiis is the first contact for months & there is no guarantee he will continue contact & he could just disappear along with the car.

Drop off & pick up the children.

bagginslover

No way should you give him a car! Like someone else said, I'm sure he is able to afford to go out when he wants, buy alcohol, cigarettes, junk food and take-aways, none of which are neccisary.

By all means offer to sell him the car (though as you already pointed out, he won't afford that either) and when he refuses, dispose of it as you see fit (totally OT, but SCRAPPING a 51 plate car?!)

I'd also tell him he can collect the kids from you, but that the car stays on your drive and they take public transport back. That way he cannot drive them in it when you aren't there. Again, I'm sure he'll refuse, but it's the only way you'll know for sure, that costs you nothing.

I too would report him to the police. I have reported my own brother for drink driving with my niece in the car, so that's not just throw away advice from me, though of course, you haven't got to listen

choccyface2006

I haven't read your previous thread but from what you have said in this one, I would let him have the car.

You have peace of mind then that your children would be safe, it would only go to scrap so you haven't lost anything much, you have offered him a sensible and very kind option to his worries about getting his car fixed, you don't have the extra time and fuel issues associated with dropping your children with your ex and you don't have to insure the car on his behalf, thats up to him.

Yes you are making things easy for him and perhaps he doesn't deserve it, but you would be doing a nice thing and you would know you have done what you can to ensure the safety of your children, if he didn't appriciate it or it caused problems then you know not to bother in future but he might be very grateful and relations with him might improve because of it.

So maybe I am soft too!

Sarah X

Teddy_KGB

I think your crazy if you give him the car! If you give him the car, next month it will be something else he needs and this will continue every month until you say no!

He is an adult !!!!!!! If he chooses to drive around with no MOT and therefore no valid insurance, then he'll probably not care about breaking other driving laws such as drink driving.

I would say to him if you drive my kids around in that car, then I will call the police, in fact you should call them anyway! It's low lifes like him who increase the cost of the everyone elses insurance premiums!

Have you put the car on webuyanycar? They buy cars that don't even run, so you might even get £100 or more!

1echidna

And society criticises absent fathers for lack of interest in their children. :doh:

shellsuit

1echidna wrote: »

And society criticises absent fathers for lack of interest in their children. :doh:

The guy wants to put his children and other motorists at risk.

Should that be ignored just because he wants to see his children???

AmandaD28

1echidna wrote: »

And society criticises absent fathers for lack of interest in their children. :doh:

Have you actually read this thread ? You are sat there criticising and talking about courts and my wish to control my ex but not providing anything to back up what you say just dropping random comments in with the sole intention of stirring up a row !

When you talked about my want to control my ex how exactly would I achieve that by giving him a car ? Maybe if I gave him a car and stipulated where he can and can't go or who could go in it you would have a point however that isn't the case here I am/was considering giving him it not for his benefit or mine but to ensure the safety of our children whilst they are with him no other ties !

Where is that not taking interest in my children please ? As for the standard of his washing up I couldn't give a toss I will however contnue to worry about my children whilst I know that he fully intended to drive them in an unsafe car !