Are these what you would call red flags or warning signs?

RacyRed

peakoil wrote: »

I reckon most people on this thread are white. many of them are women. all of them have said you should dump your black boyfriend. No wonder he thinks white people are racists and he hates women. you should all be ashamed of yourselves! ;-)

yaaaay! we found the boyfriend :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Personally, I hate this black/white label stuff. I happen to be a very peculiar shade of pink with washed out reddish/brown bits at the moment, so less of the "white woman" labeling please :cool:

peakoil_2

RacyRed wrote: »

yaaaay! we found the boyfriend :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Personally, I hate this black/white label stuff. I happen to be a very peculiar shade of pink with washed out reddish/brown bits at the moment, so less of the "white woman" labeling please :cool:

oh I love red heads, they make me look all tanned and healthy when I lie naked next to them.

they also make good corpses on TV detective dramas.

RacyRed

peakoil wrote: »

oh I love red heads, they make me look all tanned and healthy when I lie naked next to them.

they also make good corpses on TV detective dramas.

:T

Thanks for the new career suggestion! :rotfl::rotfl:

peakoil_2

RacyRed wrote: »

:T

Thanks for the new career suggestion! :rotfl::rotfl:

no problem and as luck would have it, I am a movie producer and could line up a role for you. just settle back on my casting couch for a moment..... :drool:

southoftheriver

OP i'm black and people like this annoy me! I will not deny that some aspects of life are different being black but he is making a rod for his own back and perpetuating this idea of seperatism.

Coupled with the lack of insight I would advise you to give him a very wide berth... The fact that you made this thread shows that you know that already though...

RadoJo

I know someone who has the same views on their roles in their relationships - divorced twice, no contact with the rest of his family and still thinks that the problem is everyone else!

How long do you think it would be before you had a disagreement with this man and were branded as racist yourself? And what if you did continue a relationship with him and then wanted out down the line? Someone who doesn't think women should be allowed to divorce because they don't like someone will probably not give you up without a fight if it suits him? Either way, you sound a little too willing to see the good in this guy and clearly deserve someone who actually HAS something good to offer. Hold out for someone who actually earns your respect and affection - there will be someone out there and you don't have to settle.

make_me_wise

QuantumSuccess wrote: »

I've met this guy and on the surface of it he seems perfectly reasonable - intelligent, able to hold a decent conversation, responsible etc. But things keep popping up that make my skin crawl. I've known him for about 5 weeks now and he wants to have a relationship.

First of all, he was talking about his ex-wife and he was being really nasty and unkind about her. He said that he was 95% perfect in the relationship and that the fault was all hers and that he played virtually no role in them ending up divorced. He then said that in his other relationships with women, it was ALL their fault as well that the relationship went sour. He was always the perfect boyfriend.

He also said that when he encounters any white person he assumes that they will be racism, wish him harm and be out to get him. (He is black). He says this is the best approach and that I am kidding myself if I think that most white people aren't racist. He really, really separates himself from white people. When I talk of going to see plays or movies or exhibitions his frame of reference seems to be solely black plays, movies and exhbitions as if other things actually do not exist. He recited a list of "racist" encounters he and friends of his had suffered as proof that most white people are racist. It included things like not getting a job he applied for despite the fact he was qualified for it.

:eek:

Jesus I've known some nutters in my time but he tops the lot. What a blinking catch hey. How fast can you run OP?

QuantumSuccess

southoftheriver wrote: »

OP i'm black and people like this annoy me! I will not deny that some aspects of life are different being black but he is making a rod for his own back and perpetuating this idea of seperatism.

Coupled with the lack of insight I would advise you to give him a very wide berth... The fact that you made this thread shows that you know that already though...

I'm mixed-race myself. This man said that he wants to introduce me to some of his friends who also have this pathological mistrust (my words, not his) of white people so that they can share their experiences with me and I will see that this is the best way to avoid being disappointed. He used the following analogy - if you are walking in the African bush you must assume that the slightest noise is a predatory animal rather than something harmless so that you keep your wits about you and similarly when in England you must assume that all whites are out to get you until they prove otherwise. I told him I think he's talking utter b*llocks and he said that I don't understand because of my upbringing (I was raised by white family members).

Another thing.....he mentioned that when you are walking along the street and a white person spits on the ground in front of you, it is symbolic and it means they would like to actually spit at you. I pointed out to him that plenty of black people spit phlegm in the street too and he didn't really have a response to that.:eek::eek:

I've tried to break things off with him gently by saying we're not compatible but let's just be friends. He got what I would call passive-aggressive and he said "I can't devote a lot of time to people who are merely my friends. I will only be able to talk to you once every 3 or 4 months unless you agree to be my girlfriend.":rotfl::rotfl:

BitterAndTwisted

That mention of him being "highly sexed" and actually saying so on only the first date made my flesh creep.

Kick him to the kerb: he's not normal.

QuantumSuccess

make_me_wise wrote: »

:eek:

Jesus I've known some nutters in my time but he tops the lot. What a blinking catch hey. How fast can you run OP?

I'm a pretty fast runner actually or I used to be. Was the 100m champion at school lol