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Are these what you would call red flags or warning signs?
QuantumSuccess
Posts: 488 Forumite
I've met this guy and on the surface of it he seems perfectly reasonable - intelligent, able to hold a decent conversation, responsible etc. But things keep popping up that make my skin crawl. I've known him for about 5 weeks now and he wants to have a relationship.
First of all, he was talking about his ex-wife and he was being really nasty and unkind about her. He said that he was 95% perfect in the relationship and that the fault was all hers and that he played virtually no role in them ending up divorced. He then said that in his other relationships with women, it was ALL their fault as well that the relationship went sour. He was always the perfect boyfriend.
He also said that when he encounters any white person he assumes that they will be racism, wish him harm and be out to get him. (He is black). He says this is the best approach and that I am kidding myself if I think that most white people aren't racist. He really, really separates himself from white people. When I talk of going to see plays or movies or exhibitions his frame of reference seems to be solely black plays, movies and exhbitions as if other things actually do not exist. He recited a list of "racist" encounters he and friends of his had suffered as proof that most white people are racist. It included things like not getting a job he applied for despite the fact he was qualified for it.
First of all, he was talking about his ex-wife and he was being really nasty and unkind about her. He said that he was 95% perfect in the relationship and that the fault was all hers and that he played virtually no role in them ending up divorced. He then said that in his other relationships with women, it was ALL their fault as well that the relationship went sour. He was always the perfect boyfriend.
He also said that when he encounters any white person he assumes that they will be racism, wish him harm and be out to get him. (He is black). He says this is the best approach and that I am kidding myself if I think that most white people aren't racist. He really, really separates himself from white people. When I talk of going to see plays or movies or exhibitions his frame of reference seems to be solely black plays, movies and exhbitions as if other things actually do not exist. He recited a list of "racist" encounters he and friends of his had suffered as proof that most white people are racist. It included things like not getting a job he applied for despite the fact he was qualified for it.
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Sounds like the guy has a massive ego and an even bigger chip on his shoulder. I'd be inclined to tell you to give him a wide berth before he starts knocking you about. If he does he'll never admit it was his fault and you don't need the grief.0
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QuantumSuccess, you already know the answer. Trust your instincts.
RUN........My first reply was witty and intellectual but I lost it so you got this one instead
Proud to be a chic shopper
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What he says goes then? I agree with GlynD, HUGE ego & HUGE chip on his shoulder. I'm suprised you managed 5 weks with him! Think it's time to give him the shove - no fault of his own of course! lol
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"Things keep popping up that make my skin crawl" Why on earth would you be contemplating having any kind of relationship with this person? Trust your instincts and stay well away from him0
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QuantumSuccess wrote: »First of all, he was talking about his ex-wife and he was being really nasty and unkind about her. He said that he was 95% perfect in the relationship and that the fault was all hers and that he played virtually no role in them ending up divorced. He then said that in his other relationships with women, it was ALL their fault as well that the relationship went sour. He was always the perfect boyfriend.
Someone I know who delivered a similar rant was asked the following " And do you think there might be a common demoninator in all those relationships?
Get out now.If you've have not made a mistake, you've made nothing0 -
He also said he doesn't like "white people's lifestyle" where women can "divorce a man just because she doesn't want to be with him anymore."
Additional issues are he described himself on 2nd date as "highly sexed," he complains that lots of people don't seem to want to be friends with him and he has speculated that they find him "intimidating".
I guess it's time for me to stop giving him more and more chances.....0 -
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BitterAndTwisted wrote: »"Things keep popping up that make my skin crawl"
OP in your shoes that would be enough for me to drop him like a hot brick. If things he says/his attitude towards life make your skin crawl, you are in no way compatible.0 -
from the small discriptions you have put up hear he is making my skin crawl.QuantumSuccess wrote: »He also said he doesn't like "white people's lifestyle" where women can "divorce a man just because she doesn't want to be with him anymore."
Additional issues are he described himself on 2nd date as "highly sexed," he complains that lots of people don't seem to want to be friends with him and he has speculated that they find him "intimidating".
I guess it's time for me to stop giving him more and more chances.....
just from that little bit it sounds as if he believes women belong in the kitchen or on their backs in the bedroom, and that in general he will probably bully people until they submit or walk awayDrop a brand challenge
on a £100 shop you might on average get 70 items save
10p per product = £7 a week ~ £28 a month
20p per product = £14 a week ~ £56 a month
30p per product = £21 a week ~ £84 a month (or in other words one weeks shoping at the new price)0 -
QuantumSuccess wrote: »Additional issues are he described himself on 2nd date as "highly sexed," he complains that lots of people don't seem to want to be friends with him and he has speculated that they find him "intimidating".
Clearly the people who don't want to be friends with him are intimidated because he's so very perfect and can do no wrong.
Or maybe it's just because he's a !!!!!!. RUN AWAY!0
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