Stormybay's Thread a bit of comfort in a hard world

AnW'sMum

Hi Stormy

I know exactly what you mean re looking at pics of John, I have my desktop pic set to one of our faves of my DH and my screensaver is 'my photos' on random sequence. There's many a time either I or one of the kids just sit here looking at the pics. Our DS (who is almost 4) will shout out there's Daddy with a huge grin on his face.

An ongoing project for DD in particular is to make a memory board(s) of pics of all of us. She loves doing/making things and I think it will help her.

Hope the knot in your tummy loosens it's grip soon, you are doing so well, there is a lot of admiration for you.

Hugs

xx

twink

big hugs stormy, hope dd is a bit better today, i still have some film to develop but havnt brought myself to do it yet but it is lovely to look at all the photos, sending love your way to you and your family x

babyangel10

Just popped in to see how everyone is today?

I know stormy doesn't usually post til after 9pm though, so i'll pop back in later to see how she is.

Hugs for all

T x

Stormybay

Hello everyone,
Just been on the phone for over an hour to an old work colleague from some 25 years ago, she had found out about John and called me. It was so lovely to hear from her, and as she didn't really know John, she let me talk about him and our time together for ages, and it felt good. We were able to laugh at a few things.............that's so nice, even if it is just for a moment.

There was a couple of things that my friend mentioned about how things happened so suddenly with John, I just wondered if I could pick your brains a little and see what you guys think.
A week before John died, he had a slight heart attack and I took him to hospital. He was stablised and sent to another hospital on the Tuesday to have stents put into his heart. It's a routine op done under local anaesthetic and you are normally a day patient. The stents were put in and John was fit and healthy afterwards. they kept him in hospital until the Friday. On the Friday, he had a heart scan, dye run through his heart to check the stents, and a minute clot was found. He was given an injection to diperse the clot, then had to wait 5 hours for another scan to check it had gone. By this time I was at the hospital waiting to bring him home. I went with him for his last scan and afterwards, the ward sister said to us that as long as his medication comes down from the pharmacy, then the consultant has seen the scan and all is ok to come home.
His medication arrived and we went through it all together and then left half an hour later. As you all know, we never got home as John suffered a fatal heart attack in the car on the way.
The next morning, the surgeon who inserted the stents, phoned my house to speak to John to see if he was ok!!!! I asked why, and he just said that he'd come to see John on the ward at 9pm that night but he's gone home and wanted to know if he was ok!!! When I told him what had happened, he just said 'Oh my God' three times, said sorry and hung up. At the time, I thought it was a bit unusual for a surgeon to phone a patient at home on a saturday morning, and wondered whether there WAS something on the scan, but had not been seen till later.
Anyhow, that was that and I waited for the coroners report. The coroner stated that John had suffered a fatal heart attack and there was no need for an inquest, and it was a coincedence that this happened just after his heart had been messed with. I accepted this. It's not until now, that I wonder if there was something on the scan and whether this could have been prevented. Now. I know that nothing will ever bring my darling John back, but is it worth speaking again to the coroner? Are you allowed to ring and ask questions even though it was put down to 'natural causes'? Is there anyone in the medical proffession I could speak to? I can't afford a soliciter! I just wondered what you all thought about this, it goes around in my head constantly.

Thanks for listening and being such a great support, Rosie is loads better and has gone off to camp, I'm missing her like mad!

Stormy
xxxxxx

nearlyrich

Stormy

You have to ask the questions or you will never stop thinking about it, check your household policy to see if you have legal cover and speak to your GP about the medical stuff.

I am not sure if you are allowed to ask questions of the coroner, just ask, they can't put you in prison for asking can they.

Gemmzie

Definitely chase it up as that sounds very unusual. It was the same when my grandfather died (although it was 1992). My nan always regretted not pursuing it for the sake of his children.

Stormybay

Do you mean my normal household insurance policies Nearlyrich? For buildings and contents?

Stormy
xxxxxx

seroxat_chick

Hi Stormy,

Well, all I can say is that I can empathise with you totally :grouphug:
Our DD died as a result of medical negligence, which made it so much harder to bear. I spent many an hour/day going through it all in my head. We had a meeting with the top dogs of the hospital department and I also wrote to my MP - all of which proved to be futile. Basically, it boils down to whether there is any hard evidence - anything in John's medical notes - which you can prove contributed. If there isn't, it could mean many years of legal proceedings and a lot of money being spent.
I was all for going to court - I even had a nurse willing to back me up, but as DH used to work at the County Court, he'd seen that a lot of medical negligence cases were lost because of this lack of evidence thing, and said that we would just be dragging everything out and prolonging our agony.

By all means make enquiries for your own peace of mind, I think that's important. I'm sure lots of people will be along soon with their own tales of MN for you to digest.

Just wanted to let you know, that I totally know where you're coming from on this, and of course, sending you a hug.

s_c

nearlyrich

Stormybay wrote:

Do you mean my normal household insurance policies Nearlyrich? For buildings and contents?

Stormy
xxxxxx

Yes just have a look at the policy docs if you have family legal cover it will be detailed on the policy.

Stormybay

Thanks Nearlyrich, and also thatnks Seroxat-chick. My thoughts initially are that if I found out that all this could have been prevented, then I may even feel worse and just eat myself up with the fact that he could sill be with me. So in that respect, in my heart, I'd rather think to myself that it was as was stted by the coroner as 'Natural Causes'. In my mind, I just think that I should perhaps know more about what went on with that final scan...........Gosh, I really don't know, I'm just in a bit of a mess at the moment. Perhaps things will be clearer tomorrow, fingers crossed.

Stormy
xxxxxx