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Stormybay's Thread a bit of comfort in a hard world

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  • fosco360
    fosco360 Posts: 33 Forumite
    Seventh Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Good people out there/ :-)
  • Hello there everyone, and thank you so much for all your thoughts and good wishes for me and mine at this time of year.
    To all those who have lost someone, please take my heartfelt wishes. Although I don't write on here very oftern theses days, I dip in and out, of only to see how far we have come.

    As you probably know, yesterday was the 8th anniversary of loosing my OH, and I had quiet contemplation as always. For whatever reason, I was rather tearful and sad this year, I'm unsure if it's because my life has moved on, or that when I went to the grave there was some artifacts there that I didn't know about and don't know who put them there. But whoever did, I guess it's nice that you are thinking about the same person I am.

    Well, I now have 4 grandchildren all coming for Christmas dinner, and our youngest, who was 11 at the time, is now 19 and away in university, she's home tomorrow for Christmas.

    It is very strange really, as when DH was alive, we lived in a small terraced house, with 5 children from ages 11 to 21. to in the end, just being me and the youngest DD.
    The biggest change really though is that I got married again 18 months ago, to a lovely man whom I've known for over 30 years. We were sweethearts when I was 21 and he was 26 and we dated for a couple of years, then went our seperate ways.
    He contacted me a few years ago through the dreaded face book, and got married in 2013.

    We've had a few ups and downs along the way, but it feels right, if not different, it's difficult, and not always had others approval. Some of the children are happy for me, 1 cannot understand how I could be happy again after the death of his Dad and refused to come to the wedding and even look at photos.

    I do understand his pain, and be sympathetic too, but he's bitter and hurting, but I'm sure age and maturity will mellow him, well I'm hoping so anyway. He was 16 when his Dad died and now 24, and hurts all the time, and I can no longer take it away from him.
    All the others seem to be doing ok.

    I miss LDH still and my new DH is understanding and even bought lovely wreaths from the Christmas markets for LDH and my parents headstones. He understand I visit alone and have my happy thoughts and memories.

    Apart from DS above, all the rest of the family are coming for Christmas day along with the little ones, and I will enjoy the day.

    I'm thinking so much of those who have lost loved ones, as all the others have said, breath in and out and eat when you can, by the best will in the world, time will take care of the rest. Cry if you need to and smile when you can, whatever is right for you, is right.

    GOD BLESS xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
    :j Stormybay
  • Stormybay, glad to hear your life is somewhat settled and that you have so many special people in your life to share things with. Enjoy Christmas with your family, so sorry your DS is struggling with your new path in life.

    Sure it is much harder on this journey without support, however as we all know we can still be in a room full of people and still feel lonely. It is the 6th Christmas for me without DH, our LO is 5 and is super excited for Christmas. Through the eyes of a child the excitement and innocence at this time of year has managed for the first time to make things more fun for me. Life is flying by and I have realised we need to make the very most of it, as the little fella will be soon grown up and these times are so very precious.

    Thank you for your kind words, too true "smile when you can" so hard in those early days, months and years, oh I can feel the guilt! However smiles are needed and once the guilt wains the happiness to some degree can return.

    All the very best warmest wishes to all at this time of year...

    x.
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