Stormybay's Thread a bit of comfort in a hard world

mandymoo

Thinking of you and yours today Stormybay xxxx

sarymclary

Yup, me too xxxxx

dizzy-di_2

Just wanted to say i have spent hours and hours on here reading this thread........ wow what special people you all are, i have laughed and cried.

Very sad but inspirational thread........... Thank you

bossymoo

I wish I'd found this thread a few months ago. I lost my 35yo husband in November. We have two toddlers. DS wasn't three when DH died, and DD only 14months. It's coming on 5 months now and some days I wonder how I get one foot in front of the other. I still relive the horror of it, and the shame of praying it would end :-(

sarymclary

bossymoo, if anyone is going to understand exactly where you're coming from feeling like that, it's us lot here.

I'm so sorry for your loss, and know that there are no words adequate enough to convey how sorry. My husband was 37 when he died, and have 4 children; my youngest was a toddler, my eldest had just gone to senior school.

We can all relate to the getting one foot in front of the other feeling. You don't know how you do it, other than you simply have to make yourself, because you know others rely on you to do so. As time goes by, and it does, no matter how much you don't want it to sometimes, it does become more normal to keep putting one foot in front of the other. It doesn't take the pain away, but you learn to live with it somehow, and you adjust to the enforced new life.

There's definitely no right or wrong way to do it. There are plenty of days when you feel you aren't coping very well. Collapsing in a heap in front of the washing machine, feeling like a truck of emotion had hit me was unnerving for me. The dreams I had were vivid, both good and bad.

If you feel overwhelmed, and unable to talk to family/friends, then you'll always find a friendly face here, and if you don't want to put it out on the forum, PM by all means. We can be there for you if you need it.

Thinking of you.

Sarah x

Newbie2saving

Sorry you even had the reason to find this thread. I lost my DH when I was pg with our first child, it tore me apart having to go through everything without him. The early days are like another world, your body is amazing and gets you through so many things you would have thought impossible, if a little blurry (zombified I referred to it). It took a long long time for this to subside. Our LO is now a toddler, running round, making everything a little easier to see life through his eyes. He is so like his Daddy in mannerisms and as tough as this is, it is also comforting to have a piece of my DH.

I hope your children are doing as well as possible. Have you heard of Winstons Wish? Your toddler may benefit from some support. I think myself lucky that I only had to deal with my own grief and not my childs as well, that would have been so hard and I have admiration for all of those on here that have had to cope with that also.

Wishing you all the best on your rocky road. If there is anything you ever want to discuss, feel free to pop back and I'm sure someone will try and help...

x.

Dustykitten

Bossymoo I'm glad you found this thread and I hope it gives you some support. I am so in admiration of how you are coping with your tots. I wish you well on your enforced journey xx

bossymoo

Hi thank you for the kind messages.
We a going on holiday with grandparents at the weekend, for a week. I think on our return I will contact the children's worker from the hospice. My little lad seems to be having nightmares or something. He goes to bed fine but within an hour or so he is crying for me. I don't think it's night terrors, as he is awake, and he's had them before and it was very different. He calls out asking where I am.
It's so hard.
X

Newbie2saving

bossymoo wrote: »

Hi thank you for the kind messages.
We a going on holiday with grandparents at the weekend, for a week. I think on our return I will contact the children's worker from the hospice. My little lad seems to be having nightmares or something. He goes to bed fine but within an hour or so he is crying for me. I don't think it's night terrors, as he is awake, and he's had them before and it was very different. He calls out asking where I am.
It's so hard.
X

Just was thinking of you and wondered how things are on your rocky road? How are the children?

This time of year is always difficult and from experience I tend to pop back here every festive period - most probably as I am not feeling very festive.

This year will be my 4th Christmas without my DH. Life is so very difficult, but as my toddler is now aware I have to put on my happy face and get through it and to be honest it isn't as hard as last year or the year before. His nursery nativity is on Tuesday, all the mums and dads will be there, difficult days, but his excitement is wonderful, reliving Christmas through the eyes of a child, our child is a total blessing.

Wishing you all a peaceful festive time x.

sarymclary

I got so caught up with work in the run up to Christmas, that I didn't get a chance to post to say that I was thinking of you Stormybay, but as usual, at this time of year, I was.

I hope you were able to have an enjoyable time with all the family, and I'm sure you marked the anniversary of John's death in your own way, as we all do.

Thinking of you all, and have a friend who has just lost her husband in the week before Christmas this year also, and she is naturally heartbroken. Offering thoughts of comfort to those of you struggling at the moment.

Lots of love
S xxx