Stormybay's Thread a bit of comfort in a hard world

Caz2_2

hi stormybay
Just noticing that you are not posting as much. You have so many others to look out for and stuff to deal with that its important you still get support and are able to sound off. Talking will help you so much so keep doing it. It probably helps that no one on here knows you so you dont have to be careful or protective, use it. Talking allows your brain to process and make sense of whats gone on and especially with the fact that you are probably still in shock from witnessing your husbands death. Its easy to become withdrawn, confused and isolated with thoughts and feelings that are not vocalised. Thinking of you... Just remember you are not alone, there are many people on here that care and are feeling raw from losing some one.

freebird65

Hey Stormy

Just checking in to see how you're doing.....glad the lunch went well - it's good preparation for facing the world again....slowly but surely.

As for THAT woman.....ye gods.....anyone fancy a quick kidnapping and a collective boot off Beachy Head???

I am joking of course, but you really have to wonder at what goes on in some peoples' minds and how they could stoop so low. Your poor son - how could she? Your ability to stand firm and turn the other cheek is remarkable!

Stay strong x

m223

Hi Stormybay, I rarely post here, have read all this and want to send you my deepest sympathy.
You're doing so well. Do try the Rescue Remedy that was suggested, it can be great in a crisis and is totally safe, even your youngest daughter could use it if she felt the need. You'll get it in chemist/health shops.

Many (((((((hugs))))))) and prayers to you and yours.

Stormybay

Hello everyone,
I've had a difficult day today, I don't really know why, just feeling out of sorts. I fell asleep in the chair for 3 hours tonight, i think I'm just emotionally drained and feel quite ill.
I've been thinking about work, and I DO want to go back, but have started to feel panicy about it and I hate this feeling as I've never felt like this. I keep thinking that John might feel bad of me that I'm getting on with things, I don't want him to feel bad of me.
Gosh my head is spinning and I thought I was doing so well too. I suppose in the grand scheme of things, all this is pretty normal, it's just that usually I'm so strong and I hate it when i'm not, I feel out of control.
Thank you too everyone for supporting me, I read the threads and you all say how well I'm doing, but I feel (today anyway) that I'm not, but I suppose the fact that I' have survived another day and managed to go shopping proves that I am getting on, carrying on, as I should be, especially for the children.
It's been rather emotional I suppose beacuse DD3 went back to school and coped brilliantly.........I should take a leaf out of her book.
Take care all,
Stormy

Dumyat

stormy you are doing well. there will be so many bad and tough days to come.
John wouldnt want life to stop for you...and it cant. you have your lovely family to support. you will never forget him and he would never want you to be unhappy I'm sure.

everything is out of control just now..there will be no sense to anything that is happening. and that is normal. eventually with time you will learn to live with this pain. it will never go away,....but it will be easier to bear. be kind to yourself. it would be abnormal to be coping! what a loss you have suffered. I lost a whole year when my dad died. I didnt realise it at the time...only when I got better I realised I had been on autopilot for months.

seroxat_chick

Hi Stormybay,

I just wanted to say that I'm full of admiration for how you're coping. Don't beat yourself up too much about having an 'off' day today. My daughter died in 1995 and I spent far too many years over-analysing my feelings. It's a recognised part of the grieving process to have feelings of anger and denial many times over, before we finally move onto acceptance.

Take good care,

s_c

smokybabe

Stormybay, All of you are going to have good and bad days, on balance a lot of bad days for some time to come. How each of you appears to be coping is of no relevance to how each of you is feeling, and perhaps for DD3, coping at the mo is just living through normality.
There is no right or wrong way to be feeling - you each have to deal with your loss as best you can, and just be there for each other. Therein ultimately will be your strength - your love for your family and their love for you.



Lots of hugs for you and your family.

Smoky. xxxxxx

miggy

Stormy, I have been off line so sorry to respond late but I just wanted to say I am sorry to hear about the trouble you and DS have had from this woman. Do remember people like her are a tiny minority.
It's good to hear the lunch went so well, though.
Hugs,
Migs

miggy

Stormybay wrote:

I've been thinking about work, and I DO want to go back, but have started to feel panicy about it and I hate this feeling as I've never felt like this. I keep thinking that John might feel bad of me that I'm getting on with things, I don't want him to feel bad of me.

I am quite sure John won't feel badly that you are getting on with things - he'll know that's what you have to do, and he will admire your strength and be glad that you are there for the kids and able to bring in an income to care for you all.
I think the anxiety about work might be something about stepping outside what has been normal over the last weeks. It's another hurdle but you will get over it when it comes. Is there anyone from work you could ring over the weekend and ask them to keep an eye out for you over the first few days?
As for DD going back to school so smoothly, she has been able to do that partly because she has the security of you looking after her. It's harder for you, but take courage from her and think that she has learned from you that it can be done.
If it helps to talk about how you feel, you know we're here!

bellsbells

It is all about baby steps stormbay. Everyone at work will understand how difficult it will be for you to go back. On Monday even if you go then find it too much, no one will thing any less of you if you have to finish early, or have to disappear off into the toilets for half an hour to have a good cry. Turning up is the step for Monday, that is all. I hope you know what I am trying to say - don't put pressure on yourself because your friends and boss at work will not be.
You may well find that by the time you have got DD ready for school, sorted yourself out and dressed and made it out the front door you are exhausted just from the emotion of it all, so do go very easy with yourself.
lots of love

bb