Stormybay's Thread a bit of comfort in a hard world

Frugal_Fox

Stormy,

Found this thread for the first time tonight and have read it through. You have been so amazingly strong.

Please take some comfort that your friends will remember your grief in years to come. I sit here tonight, having lit candles tonight in memory of my friends husband who died very suddenly three years ago today. They had been married just a few months and they had two young children together. It has been a tough journey for her and you are starting your tough journey too.

However the community that is MSE will always be here. You have impacted on so many lives this Christmastime, and whilst you have been facing an incredibly hard time, you have touched people who have never met you, with your strength.

Please continue to post, or create a new thread as and when you need to. We'll be here waiting to join and support you.

I am sorry for your and your children's loss. Look after yourself - you are incredibly important, even if you can not sleep well - take it steady, do not expect too much of yourself - if a friend had suddenly lost her husband, what would you expect her to do? Do the same.

Love
FF

bella4uk

Hi, stormy, just stumbled across this thread too...sorry I haven't had time to read through it all...but just want to wish you well...
I too lost my partner 3 and a half years ago, I just wanted to say i can understand you going back to work...less time to think...I was left with 6 children all under the age of 11, youngest being twins of 11 months and they pulled me through it...but i feel it has taken me longer to get through it as a result of not being able to face up to it in the beginning....
So basically saying try not to hold it in too much......
I still visit merry widow occasionally and I think you will find it a great comfort for when this thread inevitably finishes...everyone is very supportive and they really know what you are going through.
Suffice to say...the old cliche life goes on unfortunately or fortunatley (depending on your mood) really does still go on......
Take each day or even every hour as it comes. Your children will help you through as you will help them.... it's a slow process but you WILL make it through, not only just survivng...in time you will get back your life...albeit with a very differnet outlook and you'll wonder what the heck everyone is whinging about petty things for and hopefully cherish the rest of your and your familys life.....and yes you will smile again!
Thinking of you all.....X

pernod

Hi
I have read this thread as have many others with tears streaming down my face.
I lost my hubby in Sept 2001. I have 2 children who are now teenagers & they have grown into lovely young adults who have been a tower of strength to me, their dad would be very proud of them. They are the reason I continue to exist. They now like to go out with their friends, & I would not want it to be any other way, but I find the loneliness quite unbearable at times.
Many friends avoided me after he died, apparently they did not know what to say . I no longer class them as friends more acquaintances...
I have made many new friends, this is strange to be with people who never knew him. But I can be in a crowded room & still feel lonely
I was always a strong out going person, but I now struggle to make decisions, & feel awkward when I occasionally go out. My children would like me to go out more often but I find it so difficult.
We talk about him a lot, I remind the children what he was like & what he would say & do in given situations so he remains a part of their lives. (My youngest struggles to remember his personality). I often wonder what he would look like now if he were here, 5 years older! Sometimes it feels like I've been on my own for ages, yet at other times it feels like 5 minutes since he died & the pain is so raw..
We celebrate his birthday, toast him at xmas ect. He is always a part of our lives. I have learnt to cope & to live in a fashion. The pain does not go away but you do learn to live with it.
Wishing you well
H

earner

Sleep well tonight and I hope he's in your dreams.

*hugs*

twink

morning stormybay, big hugs as ever, glad the meeting went okay and yes do accept any help, the idea o lightly oiling johns tools when you feel up to it is a good idea it will help keep them in good condition, if my dh borrowed any from my grandfather he made sure he oiled them before putting them back, dh was an apprentice joiner before he joined the marines, take care x

MinnieSpender

Morning Stomybay

I hope this morning finds you and your children well.

All the best for your lunch with your colleagues today - I think it's a lovely idea to meet up with them informally before you start back to work. It sounds as if your work has some very supportive people there. I'll be thinking of you today.

beer2006

Been reading this since day one, I have a lump in my throat everytime I come here.
Best Wishes to all of you, Storrnybay my thoughts have already been with you for a long time, they will be again today.
Look after the tools as has been said, they really are something special to be passed down.

anniestar

Hi Stormy, just wanted to say how well you are doing and how very proud of you we all are.

anniestar

Hi Stormy, just wanted to say how well you are doing and how very proud of you we all are.

AnW'sMum

Our children are almost 4 and 7 now and we talk about Daddy all the time, he is and will always be a vert important part of our lives. DD was worried about what we could give Daddy for Christmas so she helped me choose some flowers. I expained to the florist what I wanted before taking DD and they made such a fuss of her, she chose a teddy in yellow flowers (Daddy's fave colour) holding a posy of purple flowers (her fave colour) which we took on Christmas morning.

For his birthday we are going to let off balloons filled with helium with messages tied onto them. I think it helps both kids to be doing something for Daddy and in turn it helps me too.