Stormybay's Thread a bit of comfort in a hard world

MushyPeas

Hi stormy

I have just come across your thread and wanted to say that I have found it incredibly moving. I am so very sorry for your loss. You sound like a strong person, keeping going. When I was in teens, with 4 siblings, I lost my father just before Christmas. My mother coped the best she could, but we didn't talk about it. It's not her fault, but I think it was a mistake. From reading your posts it sounds like you are making sensible steps with your children, still talking about their wonderful father.

My dad was into DIY and had a big shed (he was a former carpenter). Unfortunately not all the tools were well looked after, so they did go rusty. It's a shame as we would have like to use them, those we rescued years later we still do use. So please do keep them oiled! I'm sure your children will be so proud to use their dad's tools. I kept my father's camera and used to use that, I loved the fact that he owned it. I was devistated when I lost it by accident, but he has given me his love of photography.

Sorry, realise I'm rambling now! I think meeting your colleagues for lunch before going back into work is a really sensible idea. It's always hard to face people after a huge event in your life. I've experienced the same thing, when you go out you feel as if everyone can 'read' your face and see what has happened. I think it's a common feeling.

Anyway, thinking of you and your wonderful children. You will be in my thoughts.

Lots of hugs, MP xxx

plzhelpmesave!

Hi Storymybay
Just seen this thread and wanted to say how sorry i am for your deep loss. My mum died on Xmas day, 6 years ago, and although we don't celebrate christmas, she loved the queens speech so it was a family tradition to watch the queen at 3pm, which we still do. I also lost my dad last year, and it doesn't matter what time of year it is, losing a family member is really hard.

It definately does get easier with time, and you'll always remember things your hubby did and said, just share as many happy memories as you can with as many people as you can. Some people won;t know what to say to you, so if you are up to it, let people know that you want to keep your husband's memory alive. I hate it when people try to avoid talking about my mum or dad - they lived long enough to leave some great memories so we should try to remember them.

Thinking of you and your family xx

cefynbach

Hi stormybay I lost my husband suddenly some 14 years ago now and like others have said people react differently but my advice is to take one day at a time and only do what you feel able to do and leave the rest.
I would add that it does get easier and I am sure with your lovely family still around you you will come through this. My condolences go to you

Lucifer

Hi stormy,

Hope you are feeling ok and that your lunch went well.

The other point that I want to make to everyone is that you should all be very proud of yourselves. I don't mean to patronise but there are so many !!!!!! out there and yet i would bet my life on it that those is the DFW are some of the best. Reaching out to help others in a range of difficult circumstances is fab. If being in debt has allowed me to meet you guys then debt hasn't been all bad, and i consider myself a lucky girl - even if a clueless one!!

Thank you

Stormybay

Hello everyone and thank you for all your support.
the lunch went treally well, lot's of hugs and lots of normal talk, I didn't think I would be able to eat before I went, but found I was starving and wolfed it down, so it was well worth going.

I did have a bit of a stressful day, I don't know if I told you that DS2 who is 16, was hubby's son, not mine. We have brought him up since he was 3 as his mother has 'problems' and he has always been with his dad and ultimately me.

His Mum has causd us problems throughout mine and Johns years together, far too many things to go through on here, one example is that when I was actually giving birth to DD3, she phoned the hospital pretending to be someone she wasn't and told the midwife to tell me my mother had died!!! That and the usual smashed widows slashed tyres.........I could go on for weeks, but it's irrelevent.

Today she took it upon herself to say that DS2 was now living with her, phoned the CSA to say so too (not that I claim anything for him as he works) and various other stuff. DD2 did not know all this, so her phoned her and had a bit of a row, so she drove to my house and sat outside with her hand on the car horn for 10 minutes.......it was so awful, she is evil, she prnaks the phone and says awful things constantly, but I do not rise to it. I've had 12 years of this and the worst that could happen, has happened so she can't hurt me. But DS2 is so upset, been crying for hours. Eventually, a friend took him to the grave and he had a chat to his Dad. He's calmer now, but I feel so sorry for him, I don't know how she can do this to him, well to all of us, at this terrible time.

I'm calmer now, but was upset at the time. As Lucifer said in an earlier post, there are some '!!!!!!' in this world, but you guys on here restore my faith in people and I know there are more people who care, than those who don't. And those who don't can just sod off (sorry about the language, need to vent)

Hugs to all who need them tonight, I'll be holding on to all yours

Stormy
xxxxxx

Triker

Sheeesh, I tell you Stormy you have the patience of a saint, I don't think anyone would blame you if you just threw a bucket of cold sick over that woman.
Big hugs to you and yours.XX

Stormybay

Lol Triker, I would if I could but I wont go down to her level!!!
Just having an 'in my head' chat to John about it, he would say 'let it go, she's not worth it, and you are doing fine'. He right, of course, he always is!

God, I miss him so much tonight.

My other stepdaughter who lives in London has invited me and DD3 down for a weekend in February, she's getting tickets for the London eye and we are going to see a show, I'm so pleased with the offer, bless her, it will give us somethingto look forward to.

Stormy
xxxxxx

Triker

Hi Stormy, yep you are right you cannot sink to her level and this again shows the inner core of strength that you possess to not react to that cow. Sorry to be a bit offensive but I feel protective about you.

Anyway on a lighter note, I think having the visit to your stepdaughter sounds great.
You appear to have a family that cares deeply for you. Hopefully when you go on the london eye it won't be blowing a gale like it is at the mo.:eek:
XX

highland

:mad: How bl**dy dare she. What a cow. She sounds like she has some mental health issues but I'm afraid I can't sympathise in this situation. I know,what is her address I will save a few day's worth of dd's nappies and Ill bloomin well post them to her .
I'm sorry you don't need me ranting , just feel so annoyed for you and your DS2 . Totally stuck for anything to say to help, will have to be another hug :grouphug: .
Did you meet your collegues for lunch? Hope it went ok. Take care x J

- I'm sorry I was so annoyed when I read your post Stormy might have over-reacted

mandymoo

I have been here looking in and was hoping you would pop in. I can not say anything that has not been said by all these lovely people, I only wish I had this site when my dad died. But the words of comfort have helped me as well (it will be 4 yrs on the 30th that my dad died) hurts as much now as it did then.
Stormy you truely are an amazing lady.