Stormybay's Thread a bit of comfort in a hard world

Lucifer

Stormy, Just read your thread from start to finish - made me cry my eyes out. I lost my dad 2 years ago - he just went out for a bike ride (which he did every day), had a massive heart attack and died in the street.

At first I felt so many of the things you described, and I was paranoid about the fact that he died alone. Now I find peace in the things that haunted my sleep for so long. He had a quick death, realitively pain free. He wouldn't have wanted us to see him die, so he would have been glad to die alone. The crem was packed to the rafters with friends, family and colleagues. To sum it up - my dad died with dignity, working to the end and he was loved by hundreds (over 200 at the service!!).

Please try and seek solice in the fact that your husband died knowing how much you loved him.

"The angels will be looking after him, until you are together again. And you will be together again when the time is right". I send you my heartfelt love and best wishes. You are an incredibly proud and strong woman and you deserve the love that everyone is giving you.

Stormybay

Thank you Lucifer, and everyone........Your works truly confort me.
My daughter did not go into school today, she was really sick last night and wan't too good this morning. I have telephoned the school to explain the situation. She will be going to school tomorrow, but I wont venture far in case they call me. I hope that they just treat her as normal, she's not one for a fuss and often can't be doing with people asking her if she's ok. She's so like her dad, it's not true. It's lovely as John lives in in her. DS2 started his new apprenticeship today as a ceiling fitter, he really enjoyed it and later on in the summer will be working in france for a couple of weeks. His dad would be so proud. DS1 is unemployed at the moment (in a moment of drunken madness on holiday last year he had a tattoo on his neck!!!), anyhow, we are going to a hospital tomorrow to see about removal, as it makes him very depressed, his confidence is at an all time low, never mind losing John.
Other than that, I managed to do a supermarket shop today which went ok, I wasn't feeling as paraniod as I have been and didn't cry in the shop as I did last week.
I actually feel strangly normal apart from my stomach being in knots constantly, I'm waiting for the grief to overcome me again and that feeling is hard to bare. I do hope this is normal to feel normal........rambling..sorry!!!
Thank you lovely people for your support, it certainly makes me feel like I'm coping better than if I were just lying on my bed wallowing in pity and sadness. (They are there under the surface, but my pooring it out releases me in some small way)
Love Stormy

Stormybay

Lucifer, sorry, I forgot to add, it must have been awful for you, you are right in saying that hopefully my feelings of hopelessness will change as time moves on, all the if onlys.........stayed in hospital, ambulance arrived sooner, pulled over on the hard shoulder, not waiting for an exit, was he in pain, scared (God I remember his eyes staring at me...), it's so awful, the thoughts going round and round.
You have coped fantastically, can I ask, how is your Mum now?
Thanks
Stormy

Chrismojam

Stormybay wrote:

.........then I'll need to sort out the child care arrangements for DD3. 11 is a rather awkward age, the childminders I know of, don't take children of that age, although she still is in primary school. She says she wants to come home after school, but I don't want her to be in alone...... I will have to draw on those people who have offered help....
Stormy

Hiya Stormy...replied to your pm earlier...

'Thankfully'...things are different (but more difficult for parents I know) than in 'my day'.....was it latch key kids they used to call them?......Well I suppose it was if you could get IN TO the house:rolleyes:

catznine

Just wanted to come on here and say well done, another day got through! It sounds like looking after your lovely family is what will pull you through. Night night Stormy and God bless!

Catz x

Stormybay

Thank you Catz, and thanks Chris, I'm going to go to bed at a reasonable hour tonight, and please please let me sleep through. DD3 is complaining of a tummy ache again, but just been to check on her and she's sound asleep.
Just had the bill from the Golf club for the food........£210.00, so will have to pay that by the end of the week. I'm hoping the funeral bill wont come till the end of the month. I will have to take all the money out of my isa for that, as that's the only available savings. Having said that, I know I will look back on last friday and feel proud of the send off that John had, although it's still a blur to me at the moment, lots of people have said how lovely (!!!) it all was.
Night night all,
Stormy

victory

night night stormy, I hope you sleep right through, God bless xxxx

Chrismojam

Stormybay wrote:

Thank you Catz, and thanks Chris, I'm going to go to bed at a reasonable hour tonight, and please please let me sleep through. DD3 is complaining of a tummy ache again, but just been to check on her and she's sound asleep.
Just had the bill from the Golf club for the food........£210.00, so will have to pay that by the end of the week. I'm hoping the funeral bill wont come till the end of the month. I will have to take all the money out of my isa for that, as that's the only available savings. Having said that, I know I will look back on last friday and feel proud of the send off that John had, although it's still a blur to me at the moment, lots of people have said how lovely (!!!) it all was.
Night night all,
Stormy

Do try to get your sleep (it is sooo important to your general mental health.........trust me..I've had insomnia/disturbed sleep for years........).....whatever it takes ...preferably legal/non-addictive etc ....(within reason!) do it;)

Shame you have to think of practicalities at a time like this....but like you said...you can look back at that day and be proud;)

You might find DD3 has a lot of tummy aches etc...grief manifests itself in all sorts of ways............if it concerns you though...get her checked out...to be sure;)

miggy

Stormybay wrote:

Thank you Catz, and thanks Chris, I'm going to go to bed at a reasonable hour tonight, and please please let me sleep through. DD3 is complaining of a tummy ache again, but just been to check on her and she's sound asleep.
Just had the bill from the Golf club for the food........£210.00, so will have to pay that by the end of the week. I'm hoping the funeral bill wont come till the end of the month. I will have to take all the money out of my isa for that, as that's the only available savings. Having said that, I know I will look back on last friday and feel proud of the send off that John had, although it's still a blur to me at the moment, lots of people have said how lovely (!!!) it all was.
Night night all,
Stormy

I think funeral directors are used to having to wait for estates to be settled and so on, and may not necessarily need to be paid straight away. If it would make it easier for you, you could ask them to let you pay, say, at the beginning of next month.
Good night Stormy, Annie and everyone. May tonight be restful.

LJD1_2

Hiya Stormy
Not posted on here for a few days, but just wanted to say hello again. It's so warming to see you caring for other people at such an awful time. I hope you realise just how strong you are even though you might not always feel it. I hope you got that good nights sleep and your daughter manages school soon. Thinking of you xx