Stormybay's Thread a bit of comfort in a hard world

Stormybay

Hello people,
Just dropping in to say I'm here and so far today am ok. I thought I would sleep last night, but didn't in the end, loads of stuff in my head. DS1 (19) was upset because he wanted to take all my pain away and thought he couldn't. I explained to him that just his thoughts of me helped and he needs to express his grief too.
Just nipped into the OS board and lost my nerve!!!! Stupid, I know, but I feel anything new is difficult at the moment. This makes me feel worse, as usually I'm a strong 'get on with it' type of person. I feel all odd and out of sorts. But I will get over there soon.
Decided I'd make a home made lasagne tonight, I haven't felt like cooking, cleaning etc, but must start somewhere.
I've been up to the grave, and it was lovely with all the flowers, I didn't want to, but I took some photo's. I don't want to look at them, but I may want to in the future, and if I wait, it'll be too late as the flowers will be gone.
I also did as someone suggested and took the cards off the flowers as a keepsake. I'm glad that was suggested as it's been raining heavily and they were getting smudged. They can go in our John box at some stage.

Annie, I hope you are ok......thinking of you.

Brokebrunette, thinking of you too, it's awful to loose your Mum. I lost mine 7years ago and still pick up the phone occasionally to phone her with some news. Take care.

Thank you for the PM's, they really do help.

Stormy

twink

stormy whenever you feel up to it you will be made very welcome on the os board, everyone is lovely there as well and very welcoming
love and hugs to you and your family xx

anniestar

Hi Strormy, I am glad that yesterday passed off well for you. You were in my thoughts all day. I said a prayer in church for you and all of your family. My Uncle's funeral was beautiful. I was hyper stressed yesterday but it went really well. Today I can't stop crying have no idea why, perhaps its that I was really shocked at how frail and unwell various Aunts were(not the bereved one)and one Uncle that also looked really fragile(I keep teling myself that he had had a very long journey with the prospect of another one last night-they were on the 2:30 sailing last night) Just brings back to me just how few family we have. Stormy, just wanted to add to what has been said about your children coping with the death of their Father. I lost my dad 6 weeks after I turned 7, yes it WAS hard, but my mum was strong and I knew that I was loved and that my dad loved me. You are strong and the love that you share with your children shines through with every word that you post. You will become an even stronger family unit. When my mum died I was given some pamphlets from an organisation called Cruise that offer support and advice to bereaved people. They have a section for bereaved children which you may not need but is there if you need it. Thank you to everybody for your love and care, I have been really touched by your care.Particularly you Stormy, that you can take the time to think about me at the worst time in your life shows what a remarkable woman you are. Thank You. I wish you all the love in the world. Annie XXXXXX

Dumyat

stormybay come and join us when you feel ready at OS..sounds like your one of us anyway with your home made lasagne. very impressed!
you will be made very welcome..twinks, anniestar and I will see to that!

catznine

dogrose wrote:

stormybay come and join us when you feel ready at OS..sounds like your one of us anyway with your home made lasagne. very impressed!
you will be made very welcome..twinks, anniestar and I will see to that!

Me too! Join us when you feel ready but in the meantime look in on here I know there will be plenty of support for you. I have lost both my Mum and Dad and know that you have to make time for your grief, it can't be popped away on a shelf IYKWIM, tears when you are able are also very healing. God bless Stormy, remember one day at a time and sometimes one minute at a time.


Love Catz x

twink

just saying hello stormy and letting you know we are here for you anytime, hope you managed some sleep last night xx

Stormybay

Thank you twink,
I actually did manage a few hours last night, although fitfully. It's awful when you wake up because you wake, then suddenly remember, then takde another step backwards.
I'm going to try to do a bit in the garden today, then pop to a friends house later who's had an operation.
I'm going to have 1 more week off work, then I'll need to sort out the child care arrangements for DD3. 11 is a rather awkward age, the childminders I know of, don't take children of that age, although she still is in primary school. She says she wants to come home after school, but I don't want her to be in alone. I will have to draw on those people who have offered help. There is no afterschool clubs at the local schools near where I live, and I can't afford to go part time. DD2 has offered to have her 2 days a week and a friend another day, so I should be ok, it's the school holidays that may be a problem.
Thank you all for the kind words and wishes. I have been on the Merry Widows sight, but don't feel ready to post there.........think I'll stay here for the time being.
Stormy

Dumyat

nice to hear from you stormybay.
take up those offer of help. people want to help. the school holidays are a long way off yet - worry about that later
its an awkward age for childcare regardless of your situation. I left mine when they got to high school age. They knew how to contact me if need be and a neighbour kept a wee eye on them from a distance . as they get older they want to spend more and more time with their friends anyway.

LJD1_2

You should definitely draw on those people who have offered help. We're all too good at struggling along and if it would make things easier for you go for it. I know I'd want to help out a friend if she'd been through what you've been through. Hope the lasagne was good and I don't suppose you want to make a start on my garden too!!!!! Hugs to you xx

Anniestar, glad you got through Friday. My thoughts are with you too xx

twink

thats good that you managed some sleep, yes, sleeping alone gets some getting used to, i now have a cat that snores so that is a bit of company for me but there is such a lot to adjust to and best to keep busy if you feel up to it but i found for a long time i felt so tired as regards dd2 i would accept any help that is offered and perhaps you could take some of your hols to coincide with hers, that is the sort of thing you can get advice about on the os board and as we said you are more than welcome there, you dont have to post every day on the daily thread and you dont need to have a lot to say, i often dont just being on my own but its nice to feel part of it all or you can just ask for advice, do take care of yourself and i am always here to pm even weeks from now xx