Stormybay's Thread a bit of comfort in a hard world

nearlyrich

I think that is a really good idea of Martin's, there are lots of decisions that have to be taken when someone dies and at an awful time when the person making the decisions is feeling shocked and confused. People feel they have to spend a lot of money on a funeral or it will look like they didn't care etc.

I have not lost a partner or husband but I had to organise a funeral for a friend of the family a few years ago and I remember feeling really worried that I had missed something important, the hard bit of that particular funeral was that it was for someone who had NO money, just to know who to go to for help would have been great.

Mrs(no)money

nearlyrich wrote:

just to know who to go to for help would have been great.

Very true - i honestly wouldnt have a clue what to do, whats required legally, who is responsible for what etc and im sure im not alone in my ignorance. Unfortunately, like money matters, death is still very much a taboo subject in society and some guidance would be very valuable. An excellent idea.

twink

Martin i think that is a great idea, there is so much to see too and at a time you are not thinking straight too, i had my elder son and a lovely undertaker who kept him right one tip was to get plenty of copies of the death certificate because a lot of different people need them and it saves having to go back and forth to the registrar, for anyone who has to do all this on their own after a bereavement must be awful so anything that helps will be invaluable, also there is no way over the grieving process you have to go through it, as long as it takes and the worst time is when everything quietens down that is when people need support xx

Mrs(no)money

And to stormybay:

How are you today, did you manage some sleep? I hope so.

Sending warmest wishes:grouphug:

victory

excellent idea martin, when we did it because my father had died, my mum knew nothing of where the insurance papers were, how to arrange the funeral, who to tell first, etc etc and it would have been so helpful to have a checklist in place, a one stop place to find all the info...
Hope you are coping storymbayxxxxxxxxx

freebird65

Hey Stormy

Just popped in to see how you're doing......virtual hugs!!!

Good idea Martin.....I remember the feeling of absolute helplessness and not knowing where to start when my Mum's partner suddenly died a few years ago.

MinnieSpender

Stormybay

Just popping in again to wish you the best possible in 2007.

I've also noted some of the comment left by others about what to do in the event of a death. May I suggest these:

A very concise link to the government's advice on what to do is a good starting point - http://www.direct.gov.uk/Over50s/EndOfLife/WhatToDoAfterADeath/WhatToDoAfterADeathArticles/fs/en?CONTENT_ID=10027878&chk=MAfMQy

It may also be useful to download this PDF or to send off for it on this link:

http://www.dwp.gov.uk/publications/dwp/2006/d49_april06.pdf

The above link only applies to England & Wales. I can't find the appropriate documents for Scotland or Northern Ireland, but if anyone else can, please provide the link.

Stormybay

I can only say that I'm overwhelmed by the support on here and if my awful circumstances can help others, I would feel honoured and proud that this terrible time that my family are going through due to the loss of my darling husband, John would help other people who may suffer the same tragedy....I don't know what to say..........

Today has been difficult, as I suppose maybe some things are sinking in now. The thought of the funeral on friday brings me dread and fear, it's al so final and I feel out of control and helpless. The children are becoming nervous and scared and I have to be strong for them, but I just want to breakdown and cry. Expressing this on here IS helping.
If I can't sleep, I will add more later.....Thank you once again, and please do use my posts to aid others, it will make me feel useful again, as at the moment I'm just so sad

nearlyrich

Stormybay I know it's really hard for you but I am so glad that the kind thoughts on here are helping. Be strong and look after yourself you will get through on Friday and we will all be thinking about you and your family.

Ruby_Pudding

Cannot put it any better than nearlyrich - please keep posting even if it only helps a little.