Stormybay's Thread a bit of comfort in a hard world

Mrs(no)money

Hi Stormybay,

I've sat and read this thread right through and now with tears in my eyes i really dont know what to say - i dont know if words ease the pain, and much of what i feel has been said already.

I wanted to send you hugs:grouphug: though and to say i am so so sorry. Please keep posting on here, there is so much support. The weeks ahead will be tough, but with your children and grandchildren i am sure you will get through it, and if we can help, we will. We are all thinking of you.

Stay strong and take care,
with love. x

clu

:grouphug: stormybay

I am sorry for your loss and the pain you feel my thoughts are with you

moggins

I felt so sad for you all earlier that I didn't know whether to post or not but I just wanted to send my thoughts and hugs to you all.

sarymclary

Hi Stormy,
Another day nearly got through hun. I know you're now thinking about Friday's impending arrival. Keep your family close, be there for each other, and lean on whoever you can.

Now, back to practicalities - it's thrust upon you constantly now I'm afraid - firstly, here's the link to the government site giving you the facts about Widowed Parent's Allowance (which you might be entitled to), and about the one off £2k payment :
http://www.direct.gov.uk/Bfsl1/BenefitsAndFinancialSupport/BenefitsAndFinancialSupportArticles/fs/en?CONTENT_ID=10018703&chk=q2ckSd

You'll need to know your husband's National Insurance number for all these forms and applications, as it's his NI contributions that will factor in payouts.

If your husband's bank account was in his name, then since there aren't any surplus assets/savings to clear the o/drawn amount the debt will just be cleared on his death. You'll have to provide sight of the death certificate for that (always make sure you keep one original copy with you - I only ever sent 1 off through the post at a time). My husband had a lot of debt when he died, but his credit cards, loans and overdrawn accounts were just closed down, and the banks write the debt off. The only thing I was liable for was the mortgage, which I couldn't afford (no insurance paid by DH unfortunately). The bank accounts in joint names were transferred into my name only as a formality. Any money in any other accounts in his name, like a post office account, or building society account, which were negligible anyway, were paid to me after filling out appropriate forms.

There's really no hurry to be honest. Deal with all of this when you feel you can. The only thing to really chase up is the chance of getting the one-off Bereavement Payment, which will help pay for the funeral.

Did hubby always work for himself, or was there ever a time he worked for a company in the distant past? If you can't remember, you may find like me that the Inland Revenue somehow find a trace of payments made when it's logged onto their system via his NI number.

Your children and his grandchild will always be a lasting legacy to your dear husband. I think we'll all take that extra special moment to hold our families just a little bit closer right now, as we think and pray for you.

Best wishes, you're doing really well,
Sarah

Stormybay

Sarah, thank you so much for your informative and helpful posts, you seem so strong and sorted, I don't know whether I'll feel strong ever again... I will look into the bereavement payment from the DSS as soon as I can.
Thanks to everyone else for the loads of hugs, I really need them right now, if only DH could hug me, I'd give anything for one last hug and kiss. I suppose everyone who has lost anyone wishes for this, it's like a pining for something you know you will never have again.
We all went to my daughters' today for a meal and it was lovely, but also quite sad as hubby had just put in a new kitchen for her and all his tools where in the spare bedroom. DS2 (16) couldn't stop crying for ages, bless him.
Today I've had a few happy memories (up until now I can just see those last moment in the car), I looked at a few photos, we were in Krakow, Poland, just 3 weeks before. Just us two and DD3. It was a surprise treat I booked for their birthdays, so I had a look at the photos, we had a great time and I will always be grateful that we went and spent quality time together.
I have to go to the registrars tomorrow about 80 miles away to pick up the certificate. I hope I will be ok, step daughter was coming with me, but can't now. I'm sure it will be ok. I'll order a couple of extras for the banks etc. thanks for that information. I should have remembered as I had to do that for my Dad.
As you said Sarah, I have survived another day and I'm still here, all be it in body rather than mind.
Once again, thanks to all of you for reading and offering support, love and understanding,
Stormy

Mrs_Sparkle

Hugs again to you Stormy. Be strong for tomorrow. I wish I could say something more helpful but you know we're all here for you if you need to talk.

C x

*zippy*

Oh Stormy I have just read through this thread and want to add my condolances to you and your family. Thinking of you (((hug)))

mrs_mix

Stormy I'm really sorry for your loss (((((((((hugs))))))))

pam xx

twink

hugs from me again stormy x i can only say dont fight against the grief, go with it, life will never be the same again, but you will come through it and emerge stronger than you could ever have imagined and though you dont feel like it it is important to eat a little xx

Dumyat

hang on in there stormy. we are all thinking about you.
x