Stormybay's Thread a bit of comfort in a hard world

AnW'sMum

Hi Sary

Hope your DS's stuff turns up soon, 16th form eh! Wow, am guessing more like 6th form Really pleased that the move in with BF is going well, and an interview as well. Good luck for that, do let us know how it goes, what's the job?

sarymclary

AnW'sMum wrote: »

Hi Sary

Hope your DS's stuff turns up soon, 16th form eh! Wow, am guessing more like 6th form Really pleased that the move in with BF is going well, and an interview as well. Good luck for that, do let us know how it goes, what's the job?

He he, it just feels like it's been that long that I've been buying uniform and school stuff!! Some trousers turned up yesterday, but still no jacket for his suit.

The job is in the local hospital in the medical records dept. Not something I've done before, but fingers crossed. The experience of the interview alone will be good.

Different_Corner

sarymclary wrote: »

He he, it just feels like it's been that long that I've been buying uniform and school stuff!!

Do you know between my two children I've been buying those white school polo shirts for 10 years, I wish I had a pound for every one, every name tag and every chocolate/paint/tomato based stain they've got on them ! The relief of navy blue polo shirts now they are both in secondary...

Today I have a day off, my first day in the house with no children, just me and the dog, since early July, my head was in a very dark place then. I am feeling okay today, have to keep busy, the whole house needs a team of flyladys to sort it.

I can't touch his things yet, I've thought about taking a couple of shirts (that neither of us particularly liked) to a charity shop, maybe do it bit by bit.
I know that the decision to clear the wardrobe etc will become an issue if I don't start slowly.

Sary good luck with the adjustment period and interview, hope you sail through both.

Thanks for all your kind words.

sarymclary

Different_Corner wrote: »

I can't touch his things yet, I've thought about taking a couple of shirts (that neither of us particularly liked) to a charity shop, maybe do it bit by bit.
I know that the decision to clear the wardrobe etc will become an issue if I don't start slowly.

Do things in your own time. As with having children, there are no hard fast rules, and you don't get an instruction manual to tell you how to do all these things. There will come a point when you feel more comfortable about dealing with them. They will be more a gentle reminder of him, rather than a stark reminder of your loss.

I hope you have a good day, and enjoy the peace. I'm off to see Madonna at Wembley tonight with my sister and neice. I last saw her in 1990, and my DH drove me that time to the old Wembley stadium so that he could spend a bit of extra time with me before I went off for the night. We'd only just met, and got engaged, so it's a bit of a revisit to a previous time for me today. Like Madge herself, we're both a lot older and wiser now, and had some bumps along the way!

Different_Corner

Sary
Thanks as ever for your wise words. They make so much sense.

I hope Madge was good, I went in 1985 'Who's that girl 'tour - also the old Wembley - my first ever live concert. Hadn't met DH then, but he was just around the corner, first real date was Luther at Wembley arena. Saw everything from Bobby Brown, Gloria Estefan, Diana Ross, Billy Joel, but he drew the line at Take That in 1993

Plenty of memories there, we kept all the ticket stubs and there's a few T -shirts too.
Thanks Sary, brought some fond stuff back

sarymclary

Hello All,

How are we all doing?

So, the nights are drawing in, the wind's picked up, the temperature has dropped, and I've had to put the heating on!!!

Half term just starting here, so I have my treasures home for the week.

We're starting to see the adverts, and talk is turning to Christmas again, which means another anniversary to overcome.

I just thought I'd drop on by to say hi, and let you all know that you're very often in my thoughts, even if I don't post here as much.

Hoping all is well with you.

Sary xxx

Stormybay

Hello everyone, how are things with all of you? Like Sary, I'm not on here as much as I'd like to be honest, but with working, once again as a manager and a new grandson to keep entertained, I just don't seem to have the time, much less the energy to come on here, but I'm thinking of you all the time, wondering how you are coping.
As Sary said, Christmas is coming again, and, as you all know, it's the anniversary of John's death, as well as his birthday and Christmas, so all hard times.
I've actually managed to finally order a headstone for John and written the words to go on it too, it was really difficult, but needed to be done, I feel quite relieved that I've finally done it, and I hope, fingers crossed, that it will be in place by the anniversary.
Please let us know how you all are, I do read this thread, although not always write. To be honest, about 2 months ago, I went through a really bad time with the loss of John, I don't really know where it came from, and I finally went for a little counselling in. I wonly went about 6 times, but I think it moved be forward. It's strange isn't it, when you think you are getting along so well, then Wham..................hits you like a tonne of bricks. Anyhow, survival ensued and here I am getting ready to ship Rosie out here there and everywhere for the up and coming half term!! Ohhhh..on and on we go
Love and hugs to all
Stormy

Different_Corner

Morning
Good to see you all
I'm okay. One of the hardest days has been and gone, his birthday. The anticipation of the day was worse than getting through it. It was also highly personal to me. The children didn't really see it as anything special - I guess when you are a kid parents birthdays aren't really that important. To me it was a deeply sad day, remembering the past celebrations and silly things we did.

Stormy - I'm pleased you found something in the counselling, I think you know in your heart when you've got to do something about it. The grief monster calls at such unexpected times. You think you're getting somewhere - don't know where - and you just crumble.

I'm approaching 6 months, have no illusions about Christmas, have it sorted, some of his family coming, arranged to go out on the day, going with the flow.

My sons are awesome, as they both grow an inch a day it seems, when we go out I feel like I'm protected by two body guards. Both settled in at school youngest started year 7 and his confidence has improved 100%, I was very concerned where we were going.

We are okay, I don't expect to be much more than that over the next few months, anything more is a bonus.

Hugs to you all

Different_Corner

Hi all
Got through the six month mark. Not saying it was easy, but not as bad as I was led to believe, I guess everyone is different.
The fog is lifting and the physical pain of grief isn't so intense, but socially I think I'm becoming a little intolerant of some peoples moans and groans about their other halves and similar. I used to have empathy, thats a bit thin on the ground for me at the moment. It's not that I don't feel for them, it's just that I don't always want to hear it.
I know it's not a competition - whose had the worst experience, but I just wish people would stop and think before they speak.

Hope you are all okay.

Stormybay

Hi DC, Well done for still saying positive at the 6 month mark, especially, as we all know, Christmas will be so hard for us all. I'm coming up to 2 years a couple of days before Christmas, as well as John's birthday, and I can feel myself becoming nervy already. But, I know I will survive, as I have done before, but it's not to say it's easy.
I have 2 lovely grandsons and 5 lovely children to see me through, so it, as always, will be bitter sweet without 'Dad' and 'Grandad' there.

I'm off out for a meal with all my children tonight, including 2 x son's girlfriend and 1 son in law!! I'll drop back in here tomorrow.......

Take care all

Stormy