Mother in law!!!

catkins

pigpen wrote: »

It is an animal .. it can be let alone a few hours it won't explode! Some people leave dogs for 12 hours + a day.. Having had dogs for years inthe family.. working dogs, pet dogs, pampered dogs.. a few hours doesn't kill them.. and saddos who think it does and live their lives around 'ooh I can't leave little fuffy poo machine for a whole hour' really need to get a grip.

I bet you are one of those that can't leave it down stairs at night so take it and its worms and fleas and ticks to bed with you!

And I have reported your abuse..

Just because some irresponsible dog owners leave their dogs for hours does not mean it is ok to do so. No dog should be left for more than about 4 hours and that should not be every day.

Dogs are sociable pack animals and are not happy spendings hours on their own. All the people who say "oh my dog is perfectly happy because he sleeps all day" well it sleeps because it is bored stiff.

*Louise*

Well OP, I am surprised you have lasted a year of this, I would have cracked a long time ago! Still better a year than waiting 5.....once (if) you have children she would have even more 'need' to spend more time at yours....:eek::eek:

Unless you can drop the dog with her in the morning, I would leave the weekday arrangements as they are for now (one step at a time) and work on the weekends first. That really has to stop - he's playing happy families back home while you're on your own? Is he completely selfish to your needs and feelings?

incidentally....have you ever been invited to stay over for any weekends?

I personally would be getting him out and about and busy Friday and Saturday then arraning Sunday dinner either at your house or theirs (or on alternative weeks) that way she can't say you are stealing her precious little boy away from her

My hubby had to cut the apron strings when we moved in together - I refused to buy a house in his home town as I knew his mum would be over every day to see our new baby. She never liked me for years but eventually came to appreciate the fact that I make sure they see their grandchildren every week, invite them on trips with us and cook meals for them sometimes. It takes time OP, but you get there in the end. Compromise rather than ultimatum. (and if you have to use a little manipulation, then so be it - needs must )

Yoghurt_Pot

thanks for all your feedback and support, he has said that the weekend sleepoverS will stop...we'll see... i have booked a week for us in Italy for September... our first holiday alone.... havent told him yet but his mum IS NOT coming!!

shy-but-need-help

Yoghurt_Pot wrote: »

thanks for all your feedback and support, he has said that the weekend sleepoverS will stop...we'll see... i have booked a week for us in Italy for September... our first holiday alone.... havent told him yet but his mum IS NOT coming!!

Whatever you do don't let on to MIL where you're going (even if that means having to tell dh it's a surprise he'll find out when he gets there) otherwise she'll be booking up into the same hotel!

Yoghurt_Pot

i thought of that too!!! its his birthday in september so i have told him i am taking him for a surprise!! she took me aside and asked where and i told her a hotel i'd stayed at before in Egypt!!! hahaha i hope she turns up there!

RachelS

Haha at her turning up at the hotel! I'll never forget when my mother-in-law came from abroad to stay for a lengthy 3 weeks...took her a few days of being with us before she admitted she'd really come for 6 weeks!

Luckily DH was even more horrified than I was and made her change her flights!

Ivrytwr3

You obviously aren't "putting out" at home, so he has to get it somewhere.

Better this than your best friend or the local barmaid surely?

belfastgirl23

Yoghurt_Pot wrote: »

... havent told him yet but his mum IS NOT coming!!

Is the presumption that she would be coming unless you specifically say not? :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

gratefulforhelp_2

Let's hope she doesn't send champagne to the wrong hotel too!

On the topic of putting out...maybe only at the weekends for a while - reward the desired behaviour et.c?!

Zoetoes

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

the dog shouldnt be left alone during the day. the dog shouldnt suffer because ignorant people like you dont know what your talking about. op get a dog walker.

So working people don't have dogs??