Mother in law!!!

Yoghurt_Pot

he doesnt really get involved but i think he is happy to have him there at the weekends as he doesnt see him during the week

Errata

If she's popping round every day give her some housework to do !
Seriously, the relationship the OH and MIL have is extremely dysfunctional. You might want to think about that.

CH27

You need to put your foot down with a very firm hand:D

What happens when you have children? Will your children be deprived of their father every weekend while he stays at mummmys?

Start making plans to visits friends or go away at weekends. Tell him he can visit for an couple of hours to see his dad but that you want him home by a certain tme so you can eat together.

summerday

If it hasn't already been suggested, maybe you could get her a dog or cat to smother with her love instead?!

MOONGAZER

It looks to me as though your MIL either likes/puts up with you, but as far as her little soldier is concerned, she wants to play happy families - that is with herself, her hubby and their son. What about your parents/siblings? So they come and stay/keep calling in? Would your OH appreciate them being there all the time? Or hhow would you both cope with a home like Crewe Junction with parents and relatives dropping in all the time? You HAVE to draw up ground rules. If he is too weak a mummies boy, (which i feel he is), you must do the manipulating. Arrange a weekend away for yu both as a romantic 'surprise', when you go home and she is there, say your going out with friends, etc. Believe me, if you dont do something now, it will get worse as she gets older.

Plans_all_plans

If I was getting nowhere with talking to my husband, I'd go speak to my MIL myself.

"I really appreciate all the help you give us with the dog, but I'm not getting to spend any time with xxxx myself as you're here in the evenings and then at the weekends he stays at yours. I'd be really grateful if you could rearrange things so that you see him before I get home from work and just come for Sunday lunch when we're not busy at the weekend."

If that doesn't embarrass her into stopping the visits, then she's slightly odd.

BTW, if my husband wasn't prepared to take my side above anyone else's (without a seriously good ethical reason) then I would be fuming and very upset. I think you ought to get a bit tougher with your husband in the first instance and if that doesn't work, speak to you MIL.

LillythePink

Can't you say that you are going to get a weekend man in as he is obviously not bothered about being with you at weekends?

Do you see him at all at the weekend or is it a bone friday evening and back sunday evening thing?

Just because his dad works away during the week and wants to see him at the weekend is no excuse to have him sleeping there all weekend - he surely, should realise the strain that it is doing to your relationship.

Have you discussed why your OH needs to be there at the weekend - and I am not just talking about oh my dad wants to see me - that's just rubbish and a pathetic excuse and I wouldn't accept it.

Are you married or planning to? Did you buy your house or just rent it?

What do you do all weekend while he is away playing mummy's boy?

Are you ever invited around there?

From your replies so far, you haven't really given much to go on - two line posts are not very helpful for advice.

One thing I would say, is that you are inviting her over every day and taking advantage of her by her walking your dog - to me, you can't use her like that - if you have the dog then you should be taking care of it and if you feel that it can't be left alone all day, then you should seriously think about giving it away etc - until that happens, in one respect, you won't be able to help to sever the links between them to the extent that you would like.

Mojisola

CH27 wrote: »

You need to put your foot down with a very firm hand:D

What happens when you have children? Will your children be deprived of their father every weekend while he stays at mummmys?

Or will she be at their house all the time, telling Yoghurt_Pot how to bring up her children?

Sambucus_Nigra

Can I just ask how your weekends actually go - does he disappear first thing Sat and come back last thing Sunday or does he disappear last thing on Sat for a bevvy with his dad, get a little tipsy and stay over and back again first thing on Sunday? Do you go out together at the weekends?

gillypkk

how is her relationship with her husband?

could she be wanting your OH to stay there so she doesnt have to spend any time with her hubby?