Mother in law!!!

diable

Get your Mum to come over everyday and when he is with his Mum over the weekend tell him you'll be going to a swingers club.........

Willow92

Now that's just weird to stay over every weekend...my fiance stays at his mum's occasionally but only coz it's too late to go back home. Let us know how you get on.

*Robin*

If MIL doesn't live far away, maybe OP's Hubby could drop off the dog with his Mum on the way to work, and pick it up on his way home - his Mum would have company all day, the dog would be well cared-for and they'd both get healthy exercise, and then Hubby has a couple of hours at his Mum's to chat before needing to return home at the same time as OP.

Become passionate about a hobby that will take OP, Hubby and Dog away for the weekend frequently (I'd suggest rambling or hill walking with a camper-van - but that's me ).

On the weekends when OP and Hubby are at home, offer MIL & FIL Sunday lunch. Drop broad hints that it would be nice to have lunch at their house on alternate occasions, and that Saturdays are sacred to OP and hubby.

If none of that works to stretch the elastic binding OP's Hubby to his Mum - um, run away OP?

ashaput

why don't you try to move out of town and take the farthest as you can. Make a deal with your mother in law that you and your partner will come to visit her once in a couple weeks or once in a month.

RAS

What does mum's husband thinks to this malarky? Is it that now the youngest has gone to uni, this woman has to try and work out how to be a wife and partner rather than just a mother?

red_devil

some people are conditioned like this and its very hard to break it. I once knew a fella and his mother would actually get her car out and follow him. She would also say when someone phoned up to ask John if he wanted to meet up she would say can we leave it today. She tried to get involved with his friends too. She was a bit of a crank tbh and it was only him and her the dad had done a runner. She didnt have anyone else but him. I found it weird.

You would really have to be a saint to take her on and she would probably do her best to get rid of you.

He eventually did get married i think. I was pleased for him. I dont know what has happened since and how the woman coped with the mother. i know there was at least a bit of distance in travelling between them. I also know at one time he was supporting his mother financially out of his wages again i dont know what the wife thought.

she was totally a crackpot in this case. But she didnt have anyone else and neither did he.

Devi

The relationship is never going to change unless you do something drastic.

my ExH and his mum were exactly the same - that wasn't the whole reason why we split up but it certainly didn't help.

He would go over there twice a day (she lived 2 streets away) and I would have to go too after work otherwise he would never let me hear the end of it - "you don't care about my mum" blah blah blah. And then he would phone her twice in the evenings too - before and after dinner.

She would come over to ours while we were at work and clean and iron his clothes (not mine!) and continued to do so while i repeatedly asked her to stop because ExH would then taunt me and say his mum did everything and what did i do etc etc - she said she did it out of boredom but I know she just wanted to be the number one woman in his life.

We would often have to stay over at the weekends as he didn't want her to be alone in her house (her other son worked shifts) or she would come over and stay at ours.

Now we're divorced and he has moved back in with his mum - same as her other children!

pigpen

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

the dog shouldnt be left alone during the day. the dog shouldnt suffer because ignorant people like you dont know what your talking about. op get a dog walker.

It is an animal .. it can be let alone a few hours it won't explode! Some people leave dogs for 12 hours + a day.. Having had dogs for years inthe family.. working dogs, pet dogs, pampered dogs.. a few hours doesn't kill them.. and saddos who think it does and live their lives around 'ooh I can't leave little fuffy poo machine for a whole hour' really need to get a grip.

I bet you are one of those that can't leave it down stairs at night so take it and its worms and fleas and ticks to bed with you!

And I have reported your abuse..

picnmix

I'm surprised you've got this far into your relationship, when did all this strange behaviour start?

I have to say if you are having MIL round to walk your dog and do some chores I dont think you can complain that she stays to see her son, however surely that alone should be enough contact each week, I appreciate his dad works away, but at 30 do we really need to see our parents every weekend?

I'm with pigpen on the dog issue, unless it has some bladder problems, does the dog need walking during working hours, especially as your OH is home 2 hours before you. I leave my dog when I go to work for a whole day, doesn't seem to have any psychological or physical problems from this!

Tropez

pigpen wrote: »

It is an animal .. it can be let alone a few hours it won't explode! Some people leave dogs for 12 hours + a day.. Having had dogs for years inthe family.. working dogs, pet dogs, pampered dogs.. a few hours doesn't kill them.. and saddos who think it does and live their lives around 'ooh I can't leave little fuffy poo machine for a whole hour' really need to get a grip.

I bet you are one of those that can't leave it down stairs at night so take it and its worms and fleas and ticks to bed with you!

And I have reported your abuse..

A dog can indeed be left for a few hours per day, providing of course it has received the necessary training. However, there are a number of animal welfare studies that indicate a correlation between a dog being left on its own for 7-8+ hours a day and distress in the dog which can cause either illness in the pet (mental or physical), or destructive and otherwise unwanted behaviour. A dog is a pack animal and the most common affliction reported in most breeds of dog is separation anxiety and this is most common in puppies and rehomed dogs.

The view of the RSPCA is that no dog should be left alone for more than four hours at a time and most dog trainers and behaviourists seem to concur with this view.

A properly cared for dog will also not have fleas, ticks and worms and therefore will be theoretically safe to have in any room of the house, although for obvious reasons most responsible dog owners teach their dog to stay out of the kitchen and/or the rooms of young children.