advice needed re- benefits

sp1987

kingfisherblue wrote: »

FWIW, I too feel cynical about the OP to some extent - and more so as time goes by. On the other hand, I could not in all conscience leave children hungry if the OP is genuine. I did consider very carefully before offering help - and I would never give money, as I am aware that scams are just to get cash. Food from my cupboard is a different matter, as it is practical help, and I can afford to give some food as I always have well stocked cupboards.

The reason I have well stocked cupboards is that my mum left my father back in the 1970s, brining my sister and I with her. We only had the clothes we stood up in. I can remember being hungry before we left - my parents both worked, but my father was mentally and financially cruel to my mum. I have unhappy memories of that time. Once we moved to another town, my mum had to wash our knickers and socks every night, and dry them in front of the fire, so that we could put them on clean the next morning.

I have always had well stocked cupboards as I remember the feelings of hunger. I never want my children to feel that. When my husband left me - with no money to pay the mortgage or bills - I was still able to feed my kids.

I am aware that there have been other threads about hungry children, but this is the first one that I have read from the beginning. It rings true in many ways, but there are things that make me doubt how genuine it is. I was happy to donate some food to help someone who appears to be in need, and being safety conscious, I wanted to arrange a meeting in a public place. I was not going to take money with me, so I could not have been persuaded to part with any.

As the OP was reluctant to meet and accept some food for her children, I researched some appropriate agencies in her area. I also phoned the Women's Homeless Centre (phone number posted earlier) for further advice. I pointed out that it might be a scam, but that so far the OP had not asked for any cash. I did also say, though, that the OP seemed to find an answer for everything when advice and help was offered.

Now, I don't know whether I am right or wrong in what I have done. If the OP is genuine, then I truly hope that she gets the help that she needs - enough people have posted agencies that will help. It is now up to the OP to decide whether to accept the help offered - and why come onto an internet forum asking for help if you are not going to accept it?

If the OP is not genuine and this is a scam, then the person behind it is very unpleasant and is actually making it worse for genuine victims if domestic violence - posters simply won't believe the genuine requests for help.

I can live with myself - I know that I have done my best to help somebody who appears less fortunate than me. If they choose not to accept it, whether because they are a scammer or because they are genuine and have another reason for not accepting help, then there is nothing else that I can do.

Sadly, I am feeling extremely cynical about this thread now, as the OP does not seem to want to accept the help offered by so many posters who want to help.

Thank you for all the kind words that people have said about me. I don't really deserve them, though, as I have my faults - many of them!

To all the posters who have offered help and advice to the OP, we have done our best. We can do no more.

Good luck to the OP if genuine. If this is a windup, then go and play elsewhere. We have wasted enough time and effort on you.

For what it is worth, I think you are amazing and exceptionally generous.

Regardless of the genuine or not nature of this post, your kindness certainly is genuine and it made me smile to think there are people like you (and others) around willing to help those less fortunate.

I rarely disagree in any form with what Oldernotwiser says (to the stage of often spotting posts by her and thinking that covers my angle so no need to reply) so it does bother me that I was not cynical about this post, if she (I hope you are a she now I've said that!) was. But I'd sooner be gullible than miss giving some support to someone who might be in a time of need. If the OP isn't genuine then maybe someone who is will spot this post sometime in the future. Much like many of the advice threads, if someone isn't genuine, hopefully the written help will pop up in a search by someone genuinely in whatever situation and provide them with instant support. Or maybe that is just wishful thinking!

Oldernotwiser

sp1987 wrote: »

I rarely disagree in any form with what Oldernotwiser says (to the stage of often spotting posts by her and thinking that covers my angle so no need to reply) so it does bother me that I was not cynical about this post, if she (I hope you are a she now I've said that!) was. But I'd sooner be gullible than miss giving some support to someone who might be in a time of need. If the OP isn't genuine then maybe someone who is will spot this post sometime in the future. Much like many of the advice threads, if someone isn't genuine, hopefully the written help will pop up in a search by someone genuinely in whatever situation and provide them with instant support. Or maybe that is just wishful thinking!

Yes, I'm female!

I think I'm often too cynical, which is why I stay away from threads like these because I fear that one day my attitude could lead to someone genuine not getting help. I try to only add my two penn'orth when things start becoming too obvious and others are already expressing doubts.

I wish I were more trusting and admire people like rocketman and kingfisher immensely but I'm afraid I this just isn't me.:o

There are some wonderful people around but there are also others that take advantage. I hope the trusting people don't change; the world needs them.

sazzybum

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Yes, I'm female!

I think I'm often too cynical, which is why I stay away from threads like these because I fear that one day my attitude could lead to someone genuine not getting help. I try to only add my two penn'orth when things start becoming too obvious and others are already expressing doubts.

I wish I were more trusting and admire people like rocketman and kingfisher immensely but I'm afraid I this just isn't me.:o

There are some wonderful people around but there are also others that take advantage. I hope the trusting people don't change; the world needs them.

Hear hear ONW.

The first couple of pages, I was thinking 'what a blimmin shame' then as it went on, and KFB/Rocketmans offers were being ignored-as was the advice about where to go get a meal/milk for the baby-I thought to myself ''I'm positive I've read this before, but it was a man''(someone correct me if I'm wrong) and the offers of help/advice were ignored there as well.

There just seem to be too many contradictions, so yes, put me in the 'Cynic' bin.

Still doesn't take away what nice people there are offering help though. Nice!

seven-day-weekend

I too would rather give food even if I think the OP is not genuine, as I might be wrong and then the poor children suffer.

However in this case, the OP has ignored the kind offers of posters who are willing to give up their time (and food) to help her.

This, imho, is not the actions of a genuine needy person.

But God bless the people who were willing to help.

Former_MSE_Alana

We are closing this thread as the OP has recieved some constructive advice and nothing further can be added.

Please do not send money or any other personal details via PM etc as your safety cannot be guaranteed.