Stop me before I do something rash!!!

delain

shy-but-need-help wrote: »

Yes, this entirely! Growing up the only thing my cousins and I had in common was the fact my grandparents were all our grandparents, a few of us got along, a few humoured each other and a few fought to the point of broken noses if left long enough together! My kids are the same with their cousins, they all have very different attitudes & lifestyles based on the way they've been raised (our kids have "hippy" laid back parents, my sister is near militant with her son, SIL1 is errrm, a chav for want of a better description and SIL2 molly-coddles, S-SIL has very streetwise children, so five sets of very different children because of their upbringing, at the moment that makes for a few bickering bits but when they're all teens it'll be alot more divisive.

I agree with this, if we had all gone on holiday, my cousins' idea of a good holiday would have been my idea of hell, and vice versa. they were all really sporty and I hated that sort of thing, I was either reading, or out and about doing my own thing (I lived in a rural ish area as a child and loved it - I've never ever been the sociable type and I really hate large groups!)

We didn't get on at all really although we've never actually fallen out, my mum and my uncle never got on that well, we were always sort of the black sheep because they are all loaded (to be fair in my cousins' case this is because my uncle worked really really hard with a good job as a single dad) and my cousins and I don't talk now we're older. I can, however, imagine my younger cousin (also 17) doing just what your neice has. She has been very close to being completely cut off by them a few times now.

However my older cousin spends a fair bit of time with my nan and seems to really enjoy spending time with the (my) children, and equally they love him to bits and my uncle although we (the adults) rarely ever actually see each other as it's all through my nan.

Some of it is possibly because 'He is really good at Mario and unlocks me loads of levels on my DS' which is the first thing they all mention when they hear his name, though I suspect it does run deeper than that

Person_one

January20 wrote: »

I think you and I would make good relatives. We both speak our mind and are not afraid of our opinions!

I didn't think about that scenario at the time, but I agree with you. In this instance you are right! My post was written with me thinking about a "happy" (is there such a thing? ) family, where people generally get on and quite like each other, like most of my family I suppose. The OP didn't say there were any tensions in her family so...

There are people in my family who'd say the same...;)

January20

p3nnylane wrote: »

Am I the only person who reads this as 'my niece has posted on fb moaning about me, so I am now going to moan about her on mse'?

Honestly, the girl is 17. She is a girl. You are an adult.

I appreciate that you have gone into a lot of effort organising this, but I know that I wouldnt have wanted to go on a family weekend at 17. At 17, it was all about me.

As an adult, I now realise the importance of family.

But how is she going to grow up into a thoughtful and respectful adult if nobody points out that her behaviour is rude and why? Aren't adults supposed to give guidance any more and teach children and teenagers how to behave appropriately?

Molly41

Treat yourself to a session in Aqua Sana. That should help you relax and you really deserve it. Im sure you will ALL have a lovely time. We go most years with our four teenagers and they all love it x

ailuro2

If she is surrounded by people who are moaning and saying things should be done differently, how can she be expected to behave any differently.

I'd ignore her comment, she's 17 and hacked off at getting dragged off on hols with the oldies.;) some day she'll appreciate it but not when she's 17 and wants to be out with her mates. You really can't please all the people all of the time!

balletshoes

smartpicture wrote: »

Well I decided not to reply at all and just put it down to general teenage stroppiness. Feeling more relaxed about it today, picked up the cake which looks lovely and have everything organised, so glad I didn't respond initially and start a war. Maybe she forgot I was on her friends list, I don't know. Her older brother sent me a nice email thanking me for organising everything, maybe partly because of seeing her comment, which was lovely.

I'm just going to focus on making it a lovely weekend for my mum and dad and enjoy having the family all together, for what may be the last time.
I'll be nice to her if she speaks to me, but not force my obnoxious presence on her lol. And I won't mention her comment because as some have said, she's allowed to not enjoy it, so long as she makes an effort to turn up and not spoil it for everyone else then fine. I doubt she'll be outright rude now I've had time to think about it. We all get on usually, although don't spend much time together because of the distances involved, but no obvious family frictions so I'm sure it will all go fine.

Ever the optimist, that's me :rotfl:

I don't think she'll be remotely different with you than she usually is - she had a moan on fb to her friends, thats all. It probably wouldn't have occurred to her that you'd even read it, never mind be bothered by her teenaged whine. Enjoy your family visit .

Clive_Woody

smartpicture wrote: »

I've been organising a family long weekend away for 18 people for my mum and dad's ruby anniversary, no help from anyone else and a few comments about how they would do things differently (without actually volunteering to DO anything), but I've gritted my teeth and got on with it - so far.

Today I see my 17-year-old niece has put this on her Facebook status:
"Aparantly im going on holiday to a place i dont want to go without my dog because my aunts dog died AGES ago, and so we have to go through all this trouble to get my dog taken care of i am NOT happy and theres no way i am gonna speak to her."

I sooooo want to respond telling her that she should grow up and stop being selfish and grateful, that the reason we're not taking dogs has nothing to do with the death of my dog, but perhaps when she has lost a loved pet she won't be so dismissive of someone else's loss. And that I don't want to spend my time and my money on a holiday with an ungrateful teenager either, but I'm doing it because it's her nan and grampy's special day and I'm trying to do something nice for them because it might be the last time they get to have all their family around them. And that I've worked really hard and spent a lot of money to make sure that everyone, including her, has a nice time, and if she does anything to spoil their once-in-a-lifetime event then I shall personally throttle her.

And breathe..............

I know I can't. But I so, so want to.

Tell her it's too late now to get a baby sitter to look after her for the weekend so she will have to come.

shandyclover

I have 4 DD, 3 still teenagers. They are all lovely girls, generally polite, well mannered and selfless enough that they have done volunteer work and fundraising etc. BUT...

They all moan on FB, I think it's just somewhat expected, to be eitheir moaning at how hard done by you are or completely showing off and exaggerating at how amazing your life is. I have a FB account and to be very honest I have aquaintances my age bracket who are not much better than teenagers in their FB 'talk'. I was reading a news article from the US recently how theres 'real' life and then theres FB life - they aren't necessarily synomonous.

p3nnylane

January20 wrote: »

But how is she going to grow up into a thoughtful and respectful adult if nobody points out that her behaviour is rude and why? Aren't adults supposed to give guidance any more and teach children and teenagers how to behave appropriately?

But the OP didn't give guidance.

January20

p3nnylane wrote: »

But the OP didn't give guidance.

Exactly! Nobody has made this girl realise how hurtful her comments were to her aunt and also how unfair they were. What I was trying to say was in reply to the posts that said she is just a young girl and that kind of attitude should be expected. I agree with that, but I don't agree nothing should be said to her.