Stop me before I do something rash!!!

Lil_Me_2

rachbc wrote: »

I have to say I can't understand why you expect a 17 year old to be grateful for organising a trip she doesn't even want to go on.....

I don't think the OP was expecting her to be grateful, but it's pretty disrespectful to openly say what she has done knowing that her aunt might see it. Personally I'd be fuming too!

I got dragged on a family holiday last year and spent 2 weeks with about 20 of my family in a small non-touristy resort. The whole holiday was absolutely terrible, but I wouldn't dream of ever saying such a thing to my Gran who's wish it was for us to go.

If you haven't got anything nice to say then don't say anything at all sums up my feelings.

Craftyscholar

rachbc wrote: »

And as a guest at these sort of events a wound up host/ organiser just about puts the kybosh on any enjoyment. Sounds like all the fun has been organised out of the weekend - not just for you but for everyone. I'm sure your parents will appreciate having their family around them all together in one place but above and beyound that all the rest of the stuff (cakes, decorations, activities etc etc) don't really matter. So step back, chill out and relax and enjoy your weekend.

Unless the family make it obvious that they couldn't care less about their ruby wedding celebration (or them)

split_second

if that was me i would have said i would get a warning if i didnt work, then told my parents i c.b.a

they would agree with it

January20

I think my favourite reply so far is from Pinkshoes! Whatever your reply, you must show her that you have read her post! You could ever telll her the truth about why her beloved dog is not allowed to come. She is old enough to understand the truth, surely?

Your niece is being a self-centred, selfish little madam who has probably only posted this to "impress" her friends how rebellious she is, and how hard her life is because that makes her look interesting. At 17, she should understand that sometimes you have to sacrifice a little bit of your time to make other people happy. Her grandparents are not going to be around for ever. It's only a weekend, not a fortnight.

Goodness! I cannot believe all the posters who said she should be allowed to stay at home with the dog! No wonder teenagers take so long to grow up and no wonder so many young adults are unable to think about anybody but themselves!! Pandering to their every whim! :eek:

belfastgirl23

I hate to say this but I think you have a bit of a martyr complex going on. I've seen this in my own family where there is one person who tends to feel guiltier than the others re parents but then tends to take on to do something but be cross that no one else understands that it 'needs' done. They tend to then share this around and make everyone else feel guilty. Although the others don't necessarily agree that it was 'needed'.

Honestly I do understand how you feel but on some level you have decided to do this. If you didn't want to do it you should have said you didn't. If you feel that you'll be too stressed to enjoy the weekend then delegate. In a straightforward, I'm busy and I need you to do this kind of a way, not in a poor me kind of way.

As for the teenager, you are the adult here. If you really want to say something then 'oy I'm here you know' under her status update is enough. But of course she doesn't want to go, she's a grumpy teenager. TBH I think if you get upset by things teenagers say you're going to have a pretty rough weekend in any case.

Not saying any of this to get at you, but from the POV of being a family member who is sometimes pushed into doing this sort of thing, and having seen many many posts here which go like 'sister has organised weekend away with parents and I'm broke, help' I would just say that there are many different perspectives on something like this.

Person_one

January20 wrote: »

Goodness! I cannot believe all the posters who said she should be allowed to stay at home with the dog! No wonder teenagers take so long to grow up and no wonder so many young adults are unable to think about anybody but themselves!! Pandering to their every whim! :eek:

17 is a young adult, nobody would be able to force an 18 year old, or a 21 or a 40 year old to spend a week at Center Parcs if they didn't want to. I don't see how letting an older teenager make their own decisions and take responsibility for a family pet for a week counts as pandering or not letting them grow up!

dirtysexymonkey

neice isnt happy with something and vents to a select group on her facebook profile. you arent happy and you vent to millions of users on a public internet forum. just me?

balletshoes

make_me_wise wrote: »

I dont see why you cant tell her exactly what you have written above. She sounds incredibly immature, rude and selfish. It wont come across well to her group of friends, she appears to be having a toddler tantrum. Families, who would have them!!!!!

With her current attitude that stroppy little teenager will really struggle in the big wide world. Something tells me she is a touch spoilt.

nah, its facebook - some of the stuff I see posted on there from women in their late 30s is the same moany whining "poor me world" as your 17-year old. Its almost like they don't think anyone in real life actually reads it!

OP she's 17, she wants to be with her friends, she wouldn't choose to spend the weekend with her extended family, she's going to find any excuse, valid or not, to moan about it. Don't rise to it - I would "like" her post though, so she knows you've seen it .

meritaten

17 yr olds are so totally embarassed by the sheer fact of having a family - and tend to post on facebook thinking only thier friends are actually reading thier comments! Ignore it hun - its probably just teen dramatics!

shy-but-need-help

How does your niece actually get on with her Grandparents? I ask because in my DH's family dh has a very poor relationship with his dad (it's civil, it'll never be much else) and yet DH's sisters both get on with their dad ok- as a result my kids cousins all see him as Grandad and lovely, ours see him as that man who sends all their cousins birthday cards but not them. They have absolutely no relationship with him (with good reason, I won't bore you all with here) but my SIL constantly tries to arrange family breaks away with all of us and FIL, she sees it as one big happy family, we see it as worse that pulling teeth. SIL judges everyone else's relationships with someone on what her own with that person is like.

At 17 she's probably resentful at missing out on her social life to be at a family get away, resentful at not having a choice and like others have mentioned never even thought that posting it on facebook was anything more than moaning to her friends like we do, but we do it face to face, not face to screen.