Stop me before I do something rash!!!

smartpicture

Yeah, I do get the bit about the not wanting to hang out with us oldies lol. But we're going to Centre Parcs and I've deliberately booked a few activities just for the teenage crowd so they've got something to look forward to in-between the family stuff. I've honestly tried my best to think about how everyone can enjoy the weekend, and it's disappointing to feel your efforts aren't appreciated, but I guess that's teenagers for you!

I suppose I'm just getting a bit ratty because everyone else is looking forward to a relaxing weekend while I'm running around booking activities and organising meals and picking up cakes and decorations and trying to remember to pack blu-tack and matches. The Centre Parcs idea was my sister's idea, partly because there would be lots for teenagers to do. At the time, my brothers and sisters said we'd all share the planning, but that changed to, "but you're so good at it" and "I'm really busy" and "I'll do the next one". I'm just a mug!

But I'd like to be an appreciated mug.

pigpen

I'm not very grown up and would probably reply.. 'Well your mum said you'd LOVE to come as it is for gran and grandads ruby wedding and I don't have a problem with the dog, in fact I would rather go with him than you '

I'd spend the entire trip reminding her she was miserable and didn't want to be there if she so much as thought about smiling.

My inner 3 year old would be unleashed!

Caroline73_2

Why isn't the dog going? They are allowed at Centerparcs. Has your niece been told that is the reason the dog can't good has she just assumed it?

smartpicture

Person_one wrote: »

"Hi niece, if there's something you want to discuss about the trip, please feel free to give me a ring for a chat about it, your mum has my number. I've tried very hard to accommodate the needs of all 18 people but it isn't easy!"

Polite, no b****iness, no syrupy sarcastic niceness, no stooping to her level. You win the moral high ground.

I predict her response to the above comment would be to delete the whole post though!

I think her beef is with her parents who are probably forcing her to go. At 17 she should be allowed to stay at home and look after the dog, it'd save money on kennels anyway!

Ooh I like that idea. I have started several replies that are all polite and reasonable at the start but de-generate badly before I abort them, so I'm been trying hard not to reply and start a family row just before we all have to spend the weekend together - oh, what fun!

Also difficult because I would normally ring my mum and have an nice moan with her about stuff like this, but of course I don't want to spoil her weekend. Must... keep... quiet...

bluenoseam

Look at it this way Smartpicture - you're trying your best to accomodate everyone, that's admirable & nice, but ultimately your knowledge of what a 17 year old girl wants to do will (and i don't mean for this to sound cruel or ageist) be out of date & no doubt of no interest to her and unlike kids of previous generations she'll just say exactly how she feels about the situation because that's how things go these days. (i'm not in the same generation incidentally, but young enough to be part of that ballsy generation who grew up in the 90's being independant sods and not afraid to speak our minds who no doubt 17 year olds look at as if to say "hey, if they got away with it why can't we!")

Don't take it personally - she just really can't be bothered hanging around a group of people who she doesn't really have anything besides family in common with when she could be doing something more entertaining, like i said, i'm coming up on 27 and it would bore me senseless, so you can imagine a 17 year old girl is gonna be driven nuts.

babymoo

Gotta admit id put something rather similar to Pigpen's response! That made me chuckle.

Are there other cousins/siblings going that are her age that she gets on with? Why not ask her to plan something for while your away so shes more involved? If she doesn't want to, you tried and she will just have to put up with what you have planned.

If the rest whinge then I would just tell them all to sort it themselves tbh.

smartpicture

Caroline73 wrote: »

Why isn't the dog going? They are allowed at Centerparcs. Has your niece been told that is the reason the dog can't good has she just assumed it?

Well her mum knows the reasons but I don't know if she told her daughter. It's because there are 3 dogs in the family and they don't get on, and it wouldn't be fair for one to come and not the others, as well as the practicalities of taking them everywhere or leaving them in the chalet. There's also a one-year-old whose mum can't relax when there's a dog around so they're usually shut away when she visits, so the overall decision was no dogs. It wasn't my decision, I'm just the messenger getting shot for it!

celyn90

I don't think it is any reflection at all on her or her relationship with her grandparents that she doesn't want to go. I understand you've put a lot of time and effort into this, but unless it was done with full co-operation and planning involving everyone who is attending right from the start, I don't think you should expect anything from her.

I'm with bluenosesam on this - I love my family to pieces, but I wouldn't want to do this either; and I'm twice her age - people are just different in the way they celbrate and interact with people. You are expecting her to come out of a sense of duty, which I think is wrong. I would give her the option of not going or of attending for part of the weekend only; that way, by you relinquishing some of the control you might find a middle ground that suits everyone.

gratefulforhelp_2

OP this is the problem with faceache, you're a grown-up, don't mention it - or bother with your niece again.

smartpicture

babymoo wrote: »

Gotta admit id put something rather similar to Pigpen's response! That made me chuckle.

Are there other cousins/siblings going that are her age that she gets on with? Why not ask her to plan something for while your away so shes more involved? If she doesn't want to, you tried and she will just have to put up with what you have planned.

If the rest whinge then I would just tell them all to sort it themselves tbh.

There are 3 other similar-aged teenagers going, including two of my own, so I do have some idea what teenagers like. My own two are really excited about doing some of the activities and we've negotiated how much time they can spend on their own and how much doing family stuff, and they seem happy - either that, or they know which side their bed is buttered if they want any more free holidays! :rotfl: