Baby due soon, what to do regarding visitors?

HypnoNu

I had a planned c-section with my first and my mum insisted on waiting outside because i think it was very hard for her to be anywhere else when her "baby" was being operated on! The only problem with that was that she asked the nurse taking me down how long the section would take.....

...the nurse not having realised that i was a bit more of complex c-section told mum the standard section time which is about 40 minutes. Well because i was complete Placenta Previa and had a lot of bleeding which took them a long time to get under control i was in for 2.5hours. By the time we got back to the ward mum had been sat there crying for well over an hour thinking that i wasnt going to be coming back alive. but was quickly consoled by being one of the first to get to cuddle our perfect little boy.

Remember thats its scary for her mum too that her little girl is having a major op....and it's probably nice for both your OH and her mum just to know that she's near.

I'm pregnant again and this time hoping for a simple VBAC but will just have OH in with me, we'll call mum when it's all over, when i'm in pain and swearing at people its OH i want as my main target

Shepherd1

It was just me and my husband when I had my daughter and my mum in at visiting time. I think it is a very personal time for husband, wife and new addition, I didn't think there was any need for anyone else to be there.

gratefulforhelp_2

Birdie85 wrote: »

You know, this is the thing worrying me about when I have a baby. I've told my DH that I want him and my Mum there (he's useless around anything remotely unpleasant so I'm not convinced he'll be great support!) but no-one else. When I told DH this he said, 'But what about my Mum?'... I'm sorry but I can think of nothing worse than my MIL seeing me in labour, or shortly after, although I'm sure she'll turn up within 5 minutes of the baby being born having hidden in the hospital cafe all day! I understand that it's exciting and she wants to be involved but I want *my* Mum! I completely agree.

I suppose the beauty of being the one who's giving birth to the baby is that you can order people around (and out of the room!) and no-one can say a thing!

Absolutely.

I love the idea of setting a certain day and time for visitors to see the baby, will have to remember that! I'm also considering sticking a sign in the window to tell people to go away when I want to be left alone! :rotfl:

Keep your dressing gown by the front door, if anyone knocks you can fling it on and say "I won't ask you in, I'm in my dressing gown";)

mr_knight

Jinx wrote: »

Hmmm I only wanted my hubby there, not my mum - I now realise its me thats odd looking at this thread lol

Nope me too. My mum is over protective and rather fussy and I couldn't cope with that. My OH will do just fine (I hope:))

babymoo

Wether I was 24, 44 or 104 I'd want my mum there through something as life changing as becoming a mum!! It's not a slight on you and as has been said I'd presume she wants you actually in the theatre with her but its a comfort knowing mum is so close by for all women. No matter how old we are, when we go through something painful or life changing or both we want our mummies. That will never change. Congratulations and good luck xx

mummyroysof3

ive had 3 with just my husband there, with my first mil and fil were in the waiting room and to be honest it really put me off what i was doing knowing they were waiting. my mum doesnt live near but i still wouldnt have wanted her there tbh if she was

Person_one

pinkclouds wrote: »

Agree with this too. Except that it includes your mom, who, after all, used to wipe your bottom and has seen every part of you since you were born.

Yeah, that was a long time ago. I've changed my nephew's nappies, does that mean I permanently have the right to see him naked no matter how old he is!?! :eek:

building_with_lego

Birdie85 wrote: »

You know, this is the thing worrying me about when I have a baby. I've told my DH that I want him and my Mum there (he's useless around anything remotely unpleasant so I'm not convinced he'll be great support!) but no-one else. When I told DH this he said, 'But what about my Mum?'... I'm sorry but I can think of nothing worse than my MIL seeing me in labour, or shortly after, although I'm sure she'll turn up within 5 minutes of the baby being born having hidden in the hospital cafe all day! I understand that it's exciting and she wants to be involved but I want *my* Mum!

I suppose the beauty of being the one who's giving birth to the baby is that you can order people around (and out of the room!) and no-one can say a thing!

I love the idea of setting a certain day and time for visitors to see the baby, will have to remember that! I'm also considering sticking a sign in the window to tell people to go away when I want to be left alone! :rotfl:

Hope the birth goes really well, enjoy being a Daddy!

HOME BIRTH! :TYou can tell anyone to do anything, or not.

My MIL spent the duration of my second labour sitting on our bottom step with the second midwife. (She was staying just in case we needed to transfer in- she would have been 'on duty' for DD). I would much rather have MIL around peri- natally than *my* mum- much as I love her she's just not comfortable talking bodies etc, so it's easier having that little extra distance.

Have a wonderful birth, OP.

supermaiden

I thought this would be a thread about people visiting after the birth but I see its not. I wouldnt really have issues with my mum being there, my husband doesnt want it though and I understand his reasons. She is busy right now though so probably wont even get to see baby the day he is born, Im not sure really.

My problem is all of these people who I havent seen for years suddenly coming out and saying they cant wait to see little one and visit etc, but I just want some time with me, husband, and baby so we can get settled and some visits from close family but that is all. Im not sure how to put this to people who want to visit straight away. I may say just come to the hospital and then its done and theyre not invading my home lol. I even have one person saying to call in to see them on the way home from hospital! Not likely!

pelirocco

i was with my daughter for her two , it wasnt planned . I was visiting her while she was in labour with the first , the labour was going slowly she was in pain and scared and didnt want me to go . Her husband says he was glad i was there because he felt as if he wouldnt have known what to do and it was hard seeing her in pain . I think partners can be too emotionally involved where as mums can be a bit firmer and help them through it . With the second one as soon as she was in labour she wanted me to go in with them