Baby due soon, what to do regarding visitors?

Sammy_Girl

Deleted_User wrote: »

I just assumed i will be in the theatre throughout the c-section, it was just the bit about having her mum outside for support, stung me a bit thought i'd be the support...

Ah, you are the support!! Mum's just there for extra support and advice, not to replace you. I thought my DH would be a bit naff during labour, but he did really well. He watched the business end, cut the cord, had the first baby cuddle and remembered to take photos! You will do great

rachbc

Loads of people I know have had their mum there for the birth as well as partner, don't take it personally!

Jinx

Hmmm I only wanted my hubby there, not my mum - I now realise its me thats odd looking at this thread lol

Newly_retired

My daughter chose a girl friend to be actually there with her as a doula ( support) rather than either me or her husband. I certainly wasn't offended nor was her OH as he is very squeamish. He was in the hospital and close at hand for the actual birth whereas the friend had helped her through 12 hours of labour. My job was to look after the older child back at home. Everyone has their part to play.
We all went to see the baby and bring him home next day, then they just wanted to be by themselves for a few days to settle down as a family.
Everyone is different and the baby's mum needs to feel comfortable with the arrangements.

pigpen

I had my mother and left my XH at home.. My mother has been at 7 of my 9 childrens births and OH was at our daughters and XH was at only 5 of our 8. I had both my mother and XH at 4 the first 4.

It is quite usual for mums to be there.. hers, not yours.

There is plenty of time for her to change her mind.. it isn't anything against you she just wants you both there!

As for visitors.. I have none.. they are all barred! I don't want to be nice to people when I feel like crap and look even worse

Person_one

Jinx wrote: »

Hmmm I only wanted my hubby there, not my mum - I now realise its me thats odd looking at this thread lol

You're not the only one! I always say the only people I would want to see those bits of my body while I give birth are the ones who were allowed to see them before I was pregnant, so that's medical personnel and the OH!

(I'm not even pregnant though, so all a bit moot!)

OP, lots of women want their mums close, I think its similar to the way you want your mum a bit when you're ill no matter how old you are. Especially with a first baby as its new for both of you and she has no idea how well you'll handle it, my dad got a migraine and had to ask the nurses for painkillers for himself when I was born!

Nicki

I didn't want my mum or mil there either for my first one, which was an elective c section too, or for any of the subsequent ones either for that matter, but my in laws did visit me in the labour room about an hour after the birth of number 2 before I'd had a chance to shower and clean up.

But I can see, if you were close to your mum, how it would be nice to have her there in the immediate aftermath to help amongst other things with breastfeeding and how to hold, change, care for a newborn, assuming this is your partners first child. The midwives can be extremely busy and sometimes aren't able to give as much help as a new mum might like, and if this is also your first (or even if it's not!) you'd be limited as to how much support you could be with some of these issues.

Don't let it spoil the birth which I am sure will be amazing.

Emmzi

a) having a section is not very sexy. she may just not want you to see her like that.

b) when she is ill does she like to be left alone rather than fussed over?

squidge60

Jinx wrote: »

Hmmm I only wanted my hubby there, not my mum - I now realise its me thats odd looking at this thread lol

Me to so you are not the only one !:)

Sorry op hope all goes well and everything pans out .

bigmomma051204

I would say dont worry - she just wants her Mum there too!

I had my Mum with me at my little boys birth and she put up with me being a bit aggro and stroppy lol and she can cope with me in pain.