Baby due soon, what to do regarding visitors?

[Deleted User]

So we're expecting our first child in August, my OH has to have a C-Section, she's now just said to me she wants her mother there outside the theatre for the birth but no one else? When i asked why she said ' to support me '
How do i take that, i'm her partner and the babies father yet she wants her mother outside!
To say i'm a bit shocked is a understatement, or am i being daft?
Whats the general view with people when they give birth do all the family have to be there or do they turn up later on at visiting time?

balletshoes

they turn up at visiting time, except for you and her mum. Thats pefectly normal.
The last thing your OH should be remotely bothered about while in labour is how many people she'll have to be nice to when its all over, all she'll want is a clean-up and bed!

Jinx

Doesnt the father get in the theatre when the baby is being born when its a planned c-section? In which case having her mum outside would be okay I'd say. Maybe she thinks you know this?

Sammy_Girl

Are you sure she doesn't mean that you will be inside the theatre with her as she gives birth, and that she only wants her mother there as well as support. I'm sure she's taken it as a given that you will be with her.

I didn't have a C-Section - actually I was only in hospital for about 6 hours after giving birth, but I still had both sets of parents and SIL visiting after the birth when I was on the ward. But when home, I didn't want any visitors other than immediate family for a week or so, as it was our bonding time.

Congratulations btw!

[Deleted User]

Jinx wrote: »

Doesnt the father get in the theatre when the baby is being born when its a planned c-section? In which case having her mum outside would be okay I'd say. Maybe she thinks you know this?

I just assumed i will be in the theatre throughout the c-section, it was just the bit about having her mum outside for support, stung me a bit thought i'd be the support...

balletshoes

Deleted_User wrote: »

I just assumed i will be in the theatre throughout the c-section, it was just the bit about having her mum outside for support, stung me a bit thought i'd be the support...

bless you - don't worry about it, most of us, no matter how old we are when we're giving birth, want our mums around .

DueMarch11

She probably means support for both of you?

msb5262

Don't worry, you will be the support - she just needs her mum there as second string.
Try not to feel offended, but accept that girls need their mums too at times like this.
Have a lovely baby!
MsB

hjsmum

Don't take it personally, of course you will be her support but it's a very new and daunting prospect becoming a parent and lots of ladies want their mums around. Her mum has been through what she is about to go through and presumably (as your partner wants her there) did a good job of being a parent. It's quite natural and not a slight on you at all. Congratulations!

Pee

I agree that logic says you should be the one there offering support and actually, your OH is a grown woman now and I think it's a bit strange to want her mum there BUT I think lots of people do feel like this and the one advantage her mum does have over you is that she has been through this before and from the mother's perpective if you see what I mean.

It does lead to another issue though that her mum will see the baby before your mum, which is fine and probably to be expected and I don't suppose your mum will be silly about it, but it might be something you should discuss.

I have a friend who has just had a baby and I know how left out the paternal grandparents feel, but I also know how tired she is. There doesn't seem to be an easy answer.

[Deleted User]

ok thanks for the advice all, not going to lie i was a bit put out when she said it, and thanks for the well-wishes, can't come quickly enough now